AIBU to keep my Monday off rather than swap for a new parent?

[Orangeducks]

I have 3 children 10, 8 and 4. When my eldest was born, I reduced my hours at work to 4 days which worked well. Several other parents have done the same. My colleague is returning to work from mat leave and has been offered a day off but its a Wednesday as they can't cover any other day (customer facing) and she was complaining how other members of staff have had the more desirable Mon/Fri off for many years and they should give that up for new parents. She wasn't talking directly to me but I felt she was annoyed I wouldn't give up my Monday off because my children are 'grown up'. I feel that I have built my life around a Monday off and have so much going on in the week running around after my kids that I still need it. Moreover I have no plans to return to full time as I enjoy the work/life balance and we make financial sacrifices to allow this and I am on a permanent 4 day contract.
Am I being unreasonable to not give up my day for her?

I used to work condensed hours & had a Wednesday off. I liked it. I never worked more than 2 days & it broke the week up.

Please don't allow her to guilt trip you. YANBU.
Just tell her you cant do anything about it and she should to take it up with management. If she then moves from passive agressive mode to directly asking you to move your day you can tell her no, it doesn't suit you or your family. End of discussion.

This reminds me of when I managed a large secretarial team and a maternity returner was furious because I denied her request for Fridays off because 3 other people were already off on Fridays. She put in a complaint as apparently it was unfair she couldn't have Friday when I'd 'set a precedent by giving other people Friday off'. Er no love, thats precisely the reason you cant have it, pick any other day and its yours!'

She’s quite entitled isn’t she! Does she also think people without young children should avoid booking vacation during summer and Christmas?

Enjoy your Mondays OP, they are yours contractually and morally.

She’s mad anyway because Wednesday is the best day off and she’s lucked out generally with such a flexible workplace.

If she'd asked nicely, I might have considered it, but from your description she'd be the last person to do the same for someone else.

I think you have that the wrong way round.

I have a Tuesday off and although it seems like a strange day to have off, I enjoy it. She just needs to try it out. I’d be happy with a Wednesday. Personally, I would want the week broken up rather than a long weekend. She need to build her life around what’s offered.

YANBU at all

Your children are just the ages when I’d say it’s most beneficial to have the Monday. Busy weekends and then you need the actual down time. And the kids are in school regardless.

With a very little one, a Weds is perfect as the little one then only has to have two days in a row in childcare at any given time.

Anyway, that doesn’t really matter. With things like this, first come first served is the only way. You can’t start comparing need as it’ll get you nowhere.

Ignore her.

What a passive aggressive entitled nightmare colleague she sounds like.

Your job, your days, carry on.

Her comments are really inappropriate and I would ignore her and enjoy your 4-days as agreed with your employer. You dont have to justify your agreed employment terms to anyone. If she has a complaint about being denied a Monday or Friday she needs to go through the proper channels - it is absolutely not your problem.

She sounds very entitled so I would avoid her as far as possible. Rest assured she’ll be raising a few hackles if she’s making these kind of comments - with everyone not just those with a Friday or Monday off.

YANBU. However I have worked 4 days in the past with different jobs. With one I had a Monday off and with the other a Wednesday and I much preferred the Wednesday off.

I wouldn’t think a particular day would make much difference to a parent. When they’ll have to have childminding around it or eventually when the child is at school, it won’t matter what day it is that they have off, it’ll be a school day. I’d rather have a long weekend without children as I could go away. With children, it would be nice to have the weds off and have some respite or time with them during the week.

Also, it’s not your problem that she wants your day off.

She is NBU to be disappointed she can’t get the day off she wants, but she is BVU to think that you are her problem.

Ignore her, commiserate with her, but don’t accept any blame, refer to manager if she is causing issues or bad feelings within the team.

I get your point but my pension is healthy so I’m good.

Not the point I know but having done different 4 day weeks Wednesdays is definitely the best day to have off. A Monday or a Friday just merges into the weekend. A Wednesday you never have to work more than 2 days off without having a day off. Shops etc are often quieter etc..

Absolutely not unreasonable! I would love to work four days and I would ask for it, except the workload wouldn’t change!

I did use to work 4 days a long time ago and had Wednesday as my day off. I loved it, as others have said, but the only issue is that it’s a busier work day and you miss regular meetings which don’t seem to be held on Mondays or Fridays.

I've tried a few and sorry but Monday is by far the BEST day off!! (There's a reason it's the most popular) so definitely don't give that up!
A long weekend every weekend
No Sunday night feeling (in 10yrs mine has never transferred to the Monday night)
Busy non stop weekends of fun with the kids are followed by a lovely chill day
And the best bit....the credit for all the Bank Holiday Mondays meaning you can get an extra week Annual Leave somewhere while still having the BH Monday's off!

That last point depends on your T&Cs. Our work changed 20 years ago to accruing leave in hours for part timers. Working Mondays means the exact same amount of leave but a lot less flexibility on when to take it, and sometimes Monday workers are forced to take more Mondays off than their BH allowance, so they have to dip into their annual leave allowance or work extra hours to cover the difference. It's not fair, but it's less unfair than Monday workers just getting more gratis days off than others.

Does she seriously think you'd give up what's best for your family for her to have her way?

I work full time hours over 4 days so I'm entitled to the same AL and BH hours as anyone else, nothing unfair about it 🙃

It obviously goes without saying it's dependant on your own t&c but the OP already has a Monday off, is happy with this, and doesn't want to change it.

She’s being unreasonable as wednesday is the best day to have off as you only ever work two days in a row.

Extremely rude of her.
If she approaches you directly contact HR.
I would consider her behaviour harassment.
Your agreed contract hours are none of her business.
Keep careful notes of anything she says.
Such entitlement.

If you do longer Mondays than everyone else you're getting more time off than the 8 standard work days a year that everyone else gets! Nice if you can get it, I'd keep quiet.

She’s got a nerve!
Sounds like one of those entitled mothers who think they come first because they’ve given birth!
She would get a firm ‘No’ from me and if she carried on complaining about colleagues, I would report her.
Cheeky mare!