AIBU to ask my 17-year-old stepdaughter for earlier bedtime?

[Stepmumgreen]

I am a step-mum to two girls who moved in with my husband and me full-time 2 years ago after a 50/50 custody arrangement with their biological mother fell through. On the whole things have been fine as its no different to the 50/50 arrangement in that they have all their belongings here and their own individual bedrooms. I let my husband take the lead on discipline as I do not feel that is my place, but the only flaw is the bedtime arrangement
The eldest is 17 so I understand "bedtime" doesn't have to be enforced as such, but my husband and I get no alone tme whatsoever. She will stay up until we go to bed and then immediately retreat to bed herself when we do. Is it unreasonable for us to ask her to go to bed 30 minutes before we do purely for our own space so that we can catch up and reflect on our day without a teen listening in? We are not asking for them both to disappear for an extended time, just a 30 minute window at the end of the day to debrief.

Do some people on this thread think that parents must defer to their children (adult or otherwise) and put themselves second in every aspect of life, for the rest of their lives, then? Sounds a bit like it to me.

@socks1107 Yes, it's part of our daily routine too, good exercise and a chance to catch up.

Poor children. To be dragged intentionally into this mess and situation, and all the things they're dealing with...

Lol she's nearly an adult. Adults don't have "bedtimes" where do you draw the line, are you going to be asking a 21 year old to get ready for bed? If you want alone time, go to bed yourself.

That's adorable

Are you serious? Your 17 year old DCs are never allowed in the living room of their own home after 9pm? They should be restricted to their own rooms? You are "alarmed and worried" that someone is in this "situation".

Great way to establish an open, mature relationship with your growing DCs.

My step kids mum makes her (teenage ) kids to their rooms and stay in their rooms from 7 pm every evening! It's so bizarre

Things can be wrong without being abusive. How is she going to feel being told to go away,?
She'll move out as soon as she can, because she'll feel you don't want her around and you'll never see her again.