To be a bit annoyed my trip has been hijacked?

[HardyPlumEagle]

I had a day out planned for Saturday, I was going to get up early and go, have a picnic for lunch and such. I was happy to go alone.

DS (young adult) asked if he could come along with me, of course I said. He often does.
Ds girlfriend then asked DS if she could also come as she has never been. Again no problem.

The issue is DS girlfriend works Friday night so she is not going to want to be up early and they have asked me to book a much later train not getting to the place till 2pm so she can sleep (which is fair enough) but I feel sidelined.
What was supposed to be a nice day out has turned into two hours at most.
It is quite a distance on multiple trains and DS is not confident with the journey alone or I would go and let them come later.

Aibu to be a bit pissed about this or should I just suck it up so as to be seen as welcoming to my ds girlfriend?
Also usually if I was going with just DS I would pay for his fare. Am I supposed to pay for GF too?
This is the first time I am dealing with girlfriends and such.
DS girlfriend did take out DS on a trip in their car for the day but my train fare will in effect triple.

Don't agree to the later train. Say you wanted a full day out and if they can't do that, then you can go with them another time.

This, surely!

Say this, you had planned the whole day they either come or they don't.

I'd be happy they wanted to join me.
Good opportunity to bond with his gf.
If the times done suit, tell them.
Would it really hurt you to pay for his gf as a one off? This may be your future daughter in law.

Can they get a later train together? He won’t be alone, with her. That way you can give him his train fare, and not have to factor in hers?

This is ridiculous.

DS is a young adult and the internet exists to tell him what trains to get - if really necessary you can help him work out the route in advance. He will be with his girlfriend, not alone. Unless he has a learning disability he really ought to be able to work this out by himself.

You go at the time you planned, have your picnic, DS and girlfriend come and join you later.

Also what age are they ? I wouldn't pay her fare

Just say that as you will have to leave much later than planned. They can’t come.

I also wouldn’t pay either of their fares. If it was a day out for you and DS yes you’d shout him his fare as a treat, but it isn’t that any more.

You are unreasonable to change your plans so drastically.

Agree to booking a train just slightly later.
Remind DS of the price of the train fare.
You take along or pay for most of the food.

Yes be welcoming and enjoy your beautiful walk and picnic.

I would tell them “I’m getting the 8am train, you’re welcome to join me and if not I’m happy to have the day to myself and we’ll go again together another time”.

Wrt paying for the train for your DS girlfriend, if you’d invited her I’d say yes it would be nice of you to pay, but given she’s firstly invited herself, and secondly she has a job, then she can pay for her own train.

They come later, you can follow their journey and guide them over the phone

Agree with pp. Don't let them hijack your day out! Important to lay down these markers else you'll just be resentful on the day and going forward. Unless you actually want their company? If it were me, I would accommodate my son's schedule because I would enjoy a day out with him, but not his girlfriend's because basically then I would just be taking them out, and making small talk.

Tell them your are getting the early train and if she/they want to get the later train and join you that's fine.

DON'T change your plans and DON'T pay anyone else's expenses - including your son's.

What have I just read?!
No that doesn’t suit you. If the girlfriend wants to join you then she knows the time she needs to get up by!
If she doesn’t want to make the effort to get the earlier train then she doesn’t come.
Are you always this passive OP?

I wouldn’t automatically assume they will want to travel later. Just let them know what your planned timings are. If they then say they would prefer to travel later, then you say you’ll meet them there. Your DS is now at an age where you need to let him do most of his own thinking.

You get the early train, they get the late train and you meet up with them when they arrive.

Yep. Don’t understand why you’re martyring yourself and then feeling resentful. They fit in with your plans or they don’t come.

Tell them you wanted the whole day there and go in the train at a time that suits you.

This! I wouldn’t be pissed off or suck it up, which are your two options!

When your DD asked if he could come and again when his girlfriend asked, I would have said, ‘I’m leaving at 8am (or whatever), are you happy to go then, if not I’ll be going alone as planned?!’

If he’s old enough to have a girlfriend and she’s old enough to have a job, they are old enough to come when you want them to, or to go on their own! Surely he can navigate a train timetable?!

What sort of day out is it? If it’s one where they will expext you to pay for their entrance/lunch/dinner/snacks and treat you like a third wheel on their date day, I’d be going alone!

Say it needs to be an early start or not worth you going. It sounds like a long journey. You'll need 3 x as much picnic too! Have they got railcards? Would it be a good experience for your son to do the journey independently, it's not that hard to catch a train or two. They could join you later on.

I wouldn’t automatically assume they will want to travel later

They’ve asked her to book a later train, it’s right there in the OP.

Thank you everyone.
I have suggested we go another day so that we could have more time and was told I was creating stress for no reason and that it would be enough time.

I have no objection to paying for DS or his girlfriend and if I had invited them I absolutely would have but my day out has turned into a suggested couple of hours for nearly £100 instead of the £30 I would have paid alone and they invited themselves.

There are medical factors which affect why DS wouldn't be confident with the journey alone. I have suggested he come later with her but he wants to travel together.

What age is DS? Assume very young if unable to get on a train alone.

You need a course on assertiveness. No you will not be getting the later train, if they want to join you they have to come in the morning.