To be a bit annoyed my trip has been hijacked?

[HardyPlumEagle]

I had a day out planned for Saturday, I was going to get up early and go, have a picnic for lunch and such. I was happy to go alone.

DS (young adult) asked if he could come along with me, of course I said. He often does.
Ds girlfriend then asked DS if she could also come as she has never been. Again no problem.

The issue is DS girlfriend works Friday night so she is not going to want to be up early and they have asked me to book a much later train not getting to the place till 2pm so she can sleep (which is fair enough) but I feel sidelined.
What was supposed to be a nice day out has turned into two hours at most.
It is quite a distance on multiple trains and DS is not confident with the journey alone or I would go and let them come later.

Aibu to be a bit pissed about this or should I just suck it up so as to be seen as welcoming to my ds girlfriend?
Also usually if I was going with just DS I would pay for his fare. Am I supposed to pay for GF too?
This is the first time I am dealing with girlfriends and such.
DS girlfriend did take out DS on a trip in their car for the day but my train fare will in effect triple.

OP stop being so passive! Are you always like this in your life?
Just because they have attempted to counter your position, it doesn’t mean you have to accept it.
Speak up! I think the girlfriend has an absolute cheek dictating the timings of your day around her desire to sleep in on Saturday morning.
You need to point out how rude it is for her to take over your plans.
Just stick to your original schedule, go on your own and have a great time. Don’t be such a doormat.

FFS OP don't change your plans to accommodate them!

A Good Parent sets boundaries and doesn't let children bully the parent into giving them their own way!

Go early as originally planned and teach your son - and his GF - that you are an independent person with a will of your own, not at their beck and call.

Stop being such a pushover. It's not doing him any favours.

Good.

As long as you don’t go again for 2 hours with them at the weekend 😂

This.

Or they could meet you there later. If your DS is old enough to have a girlfriend, he’s old enough to manage trains.

Being accused of 'creating stress' when it's your plans that have been messed up is so familiar to me OP, I have an ND young adult too I would definitely go tomorrow in your shoes and yes, lesson learned on keeping your (wonderful sounding btw) plans to yourself in future! Have a lovely time

She either gets up on time and comes with you or she doesn’t. She doesn’t change the trip.
If she cannot get up in time and your son cannot go without you then explain you are happy to organise another time with both of them, but you are going on the time you said.

To be fair plenty of people with SEN have girlfriends. He didn't go out and chat her up at a bar and start a relationship. They met at the supported work experience placement he attends.

Surely the adult girlfriend can support with whatever medical issues means he can’t go alone?

I would tell them what train you’re going on and they can join on that train, get a later train or do it on a different day. Don’t change your plans for them.

You go when you want to go. Meet them there. Sorted.

Thank you!

I have suggested we go another day so that we could have more time and was told I was creating stress for no reason and that it would be enough time

And did you not reply to this and tell them they were causing stress? The plan is you’re getting x train at x time. They’re welcome to join you but you won’t be changing plans.

Who accused you of causing stress? Your son or the girlfriend?

If this is the reaction, are these two intent on your company for the pleasure of it, of to get a quick jaunt (no more than a lift, in terms of being with you), at your expense?
Outrageously rude and entitled attitude and I think you should put your foot down right away.

You're allowing this to happen.

Just say no, or meet them there? It's so easy

I voted that you are being unreasonable because you did not have to agree to this and having agreed to it you are now unhappy about it.

Tell them you are going back to your original plan of going alone.

It isn’t fair enough to get the later train. If they want to come they go along with your plan.
Maybe DS could practise doing short journeys to improve his confidence- disabilities withstanding - it’s an essential life skill to confidently use public transport as a young adult.
Also she is you and presumably fit. A bit of lost sleep isn’t the end of the world and she could nap on the train.

You're not the one creating stress

They're changing your plans

No.

I apologise unreservedly - your op never said he was sen. I apologise.

You also sound like a very kind Mum. Teenagers - no matter that they have going on in their lives - can be a pain in the bum!

That's it. He has two choices.

Many people would be delighted their child and partner wanted to join them-I get you were happy going alone, but you can maybe do this another time-I'd not turn down the chance to develop my relationship with the couple. So many women say their adult child and partner abandon them, so while obviously this relationship, like any other, might not work out long-term, it's surely good to get used to your son being comfortable out with you and his girfriend? Regarding the money, if you can easily afford it, I would offer to pay IF they are hard-up, but not otherwise.

I would personally say You are catching the train at X time and you were not planning to leave so late so they are welcome to come at X time and if they cant make that then no worries that you can all go another time.

GF will just have to be tired for the day. If they come then I would say train fare is X amount and can they transfer it across or tell them which train to book.

Another agreement with this

Completely irrelevant. They do not invite themselves on to your personal day out and cap that by insisting you change it to suit them.

He’s an adult? He can do the trains alone. If he’s not confident then he needs experience to become so.