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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To be a bit annoyed my trip has been hijacked?

334 replies

HardyPlumEagle · 21/05/2026 14:55

I had a day out planned for Saturday, I was going to get up early and go, have a picnic for lunch and such. I was happy to go alone.

DS (young adult) asked if he could come along with me, of course I said. He often does.
Ds girlfriend then asked DS if she could also come as she has never been. Again no problem.

The issue is DS girlfriend works Friday night so she is not going to want to be up early and they have asked me to book a much later train not getting to the place till 2pm so she can sleep (which is fair enough) but I feel sidelined.
What was supposed to be a nice day out has turned into two hours at most.
It is quite a distance on multiple trains and DS is not confident with the journey alone or I would go and let them come later.

Aibu to be a bit pissed about this or should I just suck it up so as to be seen as welcoming to my ds girlfriend?
Also usually if I was going with just DS I would pay for his fare. Am I supposed to pay for GF too?
This is the first time I am dealing with girlfriends and such.
DS girlfriend did take out DS on a trip in their car for the day but my train fare will in effect triple.

OP posts:
TheLovelinessOfDemons · Yesterday 08:57

Jukeboxjulie69 · 23/05/2026 18:41

Young adults? They can pay their own fare. They can also get a later train and meet you there.

RTFT they have SEN and also OP has already gone on her own.

croydon15 · Yesterday 09:40

To all those MNs who put "do not pay" why not, it's a nice thing to treat your DS and gf if you are able to, they are probably both on minimum wage, l would be seem to be in the minority.
I wonder would it be the same advice if it was a DD.

Jukeboxjulie69 · Yesterday 10:58

TheLovelinessOfDemons · Yesterday 08:57

RTFT they have SEN and also OP has already gone on her own.

Having SEN as adults will mean they get payments so can buy their own tickets. Also don’t assume that people with SEN can’t do things. Many can

SarzWix · Yesterday 11:02

HardyPlumEagle · 21/05/2026 15:10

Thank you everyone.
I have suggested we go another day so that we could have more time and was told I was creating stress for no reason and that it would be enough time.

I have no objection to paying for DS or his girlfriend and if I had invited them I absolutely would have but my day out has turned into a suggested couple of hours for nearly £100 instead of the £30 I would have paid alone and they invited themselves.

There are medical factors which affect why DS wouldn't be confident with the journey alone. I have suggested he come later with her but he wants to travel together.

YOU haven't created any stress. You planned your day, and your DS has hijacked it and is now trying to gaslight you into giving in. That's the beginning of abusive behaviour and it needs nipping in the bud right now.

TheLovelinessOfDemons · Yesterday 11:09

Jukeboxjulie69 · Yesterday 10:58

Having SEN as adults will mean they get payments so can buy their own tickets. Also don’t assume that people with SEN can’t do things. Many can

I have SEN. The OP said her DS wasn't confident travelling on the train without her because of the connections.

Jukeboxjulie69 · Yesterday 11:16

TheLovelinessOfDemons · Yesterday 11:09

I have SEN. The OP said her DS wasn't confident travelling on the train without her because of the connections.

It was his attitude that was the problem tbh. Pleased she went on her own

TheLovelinessOfDemons · Yesterday 11:18

Jukeboxjulie69 · Yesterday 11:16

It was his attitude that was the problem tbh. Pleased she went on her own

Agreed. She handled it perfectly.

JamesFrond · Yesterday 16:07

croydon15 · Yesterday 09:40

To all those MNs who put "do not pay" why not, it's a nice thing to treat your DS and gf if you are able to, they are probably both on minimum wage, l would be seem to be in the minority.
I wonder would it be the same advice if it was a DD.

Well presumably because she didn’t want to that’s ‘why not’.

Timetochillnow · Today 08:48

JanBlues2026 · 22/05/2026 16:08

I don’t think that is the cowards way out, you have put yourself first and went! Good for you!

Absolutely agree 😊

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