I have a spending problem and I need some harsh truths

[helpmepleasepls]

I’m in my mid to late 20s and I just cannot save money to save my life.

I am very lucky to be able to save about £600 a month from my wages. After that and all my outgoings I should have anywhere between £350-£500 a month left.

I just cannot control myself. I don’t know why. I’ve just had my birthday and I’m determine for this year to be different but it seems to happen each month. I just have no idea what I spend it all on. I end up going into my savings and justifying it by saying “I’ll replace it next month”. Obviously I never do.

I’m going to go through my bank statement and identify things that can be canceled, I’ve gone through and cancelled loads of subscriptions and I am going to delete my card from Apple Pay on my computer and all the rest.

I know I need to change but I just don’t know how to. I don’t know what is wrong with me. Please, how do I stop this?

When you say you’re saving £600, what do you actually mean? You’re putting £600 in a separate ‘savings’ account but then spending it anyway on top of the £350-£500 you allow yourself to spend?

Or are you saving £600 every month but worrying that you’re spending the £350-500 on crap and want to stop this?

First. Which is shameful.

I’m going to set these rules:

1. no meal deals, coffees, etc - i bring my lunch everyday.
2. deleting all shopping apps off my phone.
3. reframing all spending as money that comes out of my holiday spending
4. £20 a week (so £80 a month, ish) spending

I'm going to sound harsh but that's just an excuse. You won't have savings in the summer because you will have burned through them? Then how will you pay for.yiur travels?

Can you really afford to go travelling? It's May now... it basically is summer and you don't have the money.

When you say traveling, how long are you going for? Why can't you just pay for the accommodation with each paycheck and not put the money into savings.

If you want to save money you need to put it into an account you cannot access. This might be only £200 a month instead of the £600 currently. That's better than you pretending to save £600 and then spending it anyway

It doesn’t sound like the OP is actually “enjoying her youth” by spending all her money on stuff. Saving money, no matter what age, gives you freedom and options - buying a house, going on holiday, etc.

I can. That’s the whole point. I should be comfortable on this trip because the accommodation is 1 months’ worth of savings. But for some reason I just cannot keep myself from touching it

But for some reason I just cannot keep myself from touching it

Then you cannot afford it... because something else is a priority.

I think your being hard on yourself. Your not in debt and you cover all your outgoings. There are many truely shameful things going on in this world your spending isnt one of them.
I went shopping every day from when i got my first job as a teenager to the age of 40. It was linked to my feelings. What really kicked me into touch was volunteering at a charity shop, alot of the donators and customers were compulsive spenders. I saw myself in all of them!
You have insight onto whats going on and you are young.
What else do you like doing? Sometimes can you replace the shopping with any healthy hobbies, even if its just painting your nails or watching a movie.
I still slip up from time to time, but we are human.

No, it’s not that it’s priority spending. It’s that I literally just love spending money. I’m not buying important things, this is purely disposable income that I just waste.

Are you bored? I can’t remember the last time I went to Boots so Im not in danger of dropping £100 as I’m not there.

A lot of your other spends sounds like stuff because you’re ‘mooching’ about so money just fritters away.

Can you look at structuring your day / week differently so you’re not near shops and cafes??

So you're spending about £1,000 a month on non essentials?

Honestly a lot of it is just boredom spending.

i’ve just had a sobering moment when i looked at my pay slip. I’ve received over £3,500 this pay year so far and have £53 left. Who does that??? What is my problem?!

Yes. I know it’s disgusting

Tty to remind yourself that world has suddenly got a lot more expensive so it’s not just a you problem. That £350-£500 really doesn’t go that far anymore. Is that for food groceries too? Because if so I can see how it’s being eaten up. I couldn’t understand how I had burned through so much of my savings, until I realised my food bill had crept up from £300 to £550 in the space of a year 🤯

Yes you probably need to park the coffees and meal deals. Good luck! £600 per month and a good workplace pension, people giving you a hard time on here are absolutely mental.

Do you keep everything you buy. Where do you store it all?

I think PP's point was that your priority is enjoying spending money.

And therefore you can't afford the holiday because you spent the money on that feeling.

I don’t even know. It just all sort of accumulates and every few months I do a clear out and it goes I Vinted

But that’s what I’m asking for help for!!

I travel in four months. I could have £2,400 saved. My accommodation is £597, I’ve bought flights already. So I’m literally just hurting myself and my ability to enjoy the holiday but I don’t know what my issue is!

Put your savings into a savings account at the start of the month not the end when there's none left.

Find a savings account that you need to give at least 24 hours notice for withdrawal. If it's impulse spending then in 24 hours you will probably have changed your mind and not want to buy what ever it is.

That way you will still have access quick enough but not quick enough that you're wasting it.

I do this. Then I dip in.

How much do you know about your ADHD? It's interesting you don't think it's worth getting diagnosed, but you're clearly unhappy with the effect impulsiveness is having on your life.

How do I find one???

Does that £1000 a month include your rent and bills?