Male hospital staff

[ToadRage]

I don't really know how i feel about this or if I'm just being a bit precious. I had an appointment for a transvaginal ultrasound a couple of weeks ago. I was a bit shocked to find the sonographer was a man. A female nurse was present and she did all the talking, he barely said a word to me. I have had ultrasounds before but they have always been done by women. He was professional and nothing out of the ordinary happened but I felt a bit awkward as I haven't had a man down there except my husband in 20+ years, not even a male doctor. Am I wrong in thinking I should have been told it was going to be done by a man, maybe given the option to request a woman or AIBU?

That is not what I was saying at all just that during my exams I was able to see what he was doing. The Dr went out of his way to ensure that I knew what was going on at each step. I would say rather than it being a sign of the difference in the patient it was the difference in the Drs. A doctor that doesn't want you to know what they are doing as they are doing it would not make their actions as visible. During these two specific examination I felt comfortable that he was doing nothing more or less than was necessary medically.

Men are responsible for the overwhelming majority of sexual offences. Men have paraphilias more commonly than women.
even leaving that aside, I don’t want to be treated by someone who puts their career before women’s understandable discomfort.

Same goes for the “what about lesbian health practitioners” argument. Think about it.

great, but most women do not feel any discomfort and see no difference between a male or a female doctor. If there's any discomfort, it really has nothing to do with the sex or gender.

interesting that you translate the interest of someone who tries to help women as being selfish and self-centered. You might want to read WHO has made breakthrough in medicine and pain management.

Some people care. Some people don't. I mean PEOPLE, men or women.

What woefully misinformed nonsense. It’s nothing to do with EDI,

You seem to be the woefully misinformed one here. There have been campaigns by nursing organisations and the NHS to increase the number of men in disciplines relating to female medical care as well as childcare. No coincidence that there is a rise in the number of female patients and children in childcare settings being sexually abused.

Sonography is not gynaecology.

I haven’t mentioned gynaecology 🤷‍♀️

Seems very important to me that men are interested in women’s health rather than the more traditionally exciting areas like ortho and cardiology.

Trouble us, we (and the courts) know that some men are attracted to female medical issues or things like childcare for very bad reasons. A further complication is that they don’t tell us that up front. So we don’t find out which ones have bad intentions until they have committed a crime. You may be happy to gamble your safety but you can’t speak for others.

Any case of sexual assault is disgusting and terrifying but keep a sense of proportion - it’s less than 1.5% of medical staff who are accused

Oh that’s ok then - we’ll just carry on as we are and tell the victims (oh wait, we can’t tell the 76 yr old who was raped and died of her injuries by a man in a hospital - they haven’t quite got around to catching anyone because they are clearly too busy - from the details of the case it was most likely to be a staff member) they are just the unlucky ones and ‘only’ 1.5% of male staff in the NHS are likely to be rapists. Not a problem.

You’re more at risk in a bar, or a taxi, or at the gym or even at work.

Do you have any figures to back that claim? Why do you dismiss the fact that women are being sexually assaulted by male colleagues as ‘needing to keep a sense of proportion’?? What is remotely dismissible about a vulnerable woman, often immobilised and ill being sexually assaulted by the man paid to provide her care?

Or the incredible opportunity to save and deliver new life in obs?

The number of male midwives is tiny. Yet the number of male midwives convicted of sexual offences is not zero.

The number of male childcare workers is tiny, yet the number of male childcare workers convicted of raping children is far more than zero.

If you want to argue for more men in these areas you need to decide how many sexual assaults and rapes you find acceptable as a result.

but most women do not feel any discomfort

What is your evidence for ‘most’ women not feeling discomfort as that’s not reflecting anything I’ve seen. It seems to be a very vocal but tiny minority that genuinely doesn’t care.

This post is about women having transvaginal ultrasounds. You have no vagina. I fail to see what your experiences as a male have to do with this. And while I'm on the subject, I'm astounded that you think any of us will be interested in your opinion. I see for the first time why so many women wish men would stay off MN.

I have no vagina, that's true. But I have relevant experience both as a treatment-giver and receiver - some have found it relevant. You don't. Fair enough 🤷 Up to you.

What experience do you have of an object being inserted into your vagina ~ which is what the post was about?

He has the holy penis. Of course he know more about being a woman than <checks notes> women.

Apparently not able to acknowledge that the reason many women are unwilling or unable to tolerate intimate treatment by men is the realities of men. When men compare what its like for a women to have an unknown sonographer penetrate them with a penis shaped object to having a female urologist they are telling me they have no fucking clue.
I hope such men are less tone deaf to women’s concerns when actually dealing with them.

I went for one recently and it was a male doing it. As it turns out I didnt have it done though as Ive never been 'open for business' down there and he didnt fancy his chances!😆
It didnt bother me that he was a man though. They will always have a chaperone for you and as a health care professional myself I know how my male colleagues view this kind of thing (same way I regard male patients. We try to be as respectful as possible but its honestly just a job!).

None, obviously. But I have given such treatment. And I have received treatment by having things stuck up my bum. Which is not a million miles away.
Anyway, I sense you're not one for reasonable debate.

And I have received treatment by having things stuck up my bum. Which is not a million miles away

The fact that you believe this to be comparable is precisely the problem.

Oh dear. The fact that you're a male nurse and can't see the difference between women having vaginal examinations and 'things stuck up your bum' is deeply concerning.
Are you still a nurse?

You just can't stop digging that hole, can you? Now you compare your rectum to a woman's vagina ~ 'not a million miles away'! Please stop inserting yourself into posts about things you know nothing about, and we won't tell you what we think you should have felt about your vasectomy.

I've answered some points upthread.

Oh ffs they clean it! You're not going to get one of your own.

Man tells women things 'stuck up bum' just the same as vaginal examinations and he's allegedly a hcp .

I'm sorry but digging the hole is a very funny analogy in this context.

Misogyny in the healthcare system is probably partly based on men not really seeing much difference between men and women and having a total lack of empathy for women. It's shocking how much is normalised for women that I've only learned recently is not normal at all.

I've had smears and a colonoscopy (,thing stuck up my bum). If I had to choose I'd go with the smear any day. It is much quicker and less painful in my experience. Also not nearly as invasive and embarrassing, the camera has to go way further than is needed for a smear. The plus side is you get to see part of your body that isn't normally visible. I also had an angiogram and got to see other bits of my inner workings but it felt less embarrassing.

From a woman it's worse. Hopefully you won't find out but it really isn't pleasant, well if it's a colonoscopy I suppose there are other things that might be easier.

Ive had three of these ultrasounds and where I get them done, they have asked if I prefer male or female doing the procedure and then give me an appointment according to what I want.

Forgot to say I've had one transvaginal ultrasound, many more smears.

I bet the pp male nurse would say mammograms just like normal scans and he had his ankle scanned once by a woman and <checks notes> 'nothing untoward happened'.

Honestly if even an alleged male nurse cannot differentiate between different body parts and understand how women feel being examined by men what hope have we got.

They used to cover empathy and patient advocacy in nurse training maybe he missed that session.

I think you should have been told, and asked if you're OK with it, without you having to ask.

I’d assumed you meant female health care from this comment I have no idea why any man would seek to train in this job and think it’s shocking that the NHS would allow it.

What are you shocked by, men as sonographers/radiographers?

The data on risks to women in various settings is widely available, and it’s far more dangerous to live with a man, or socialise with one, than it is to see one as a patient. Every horrifying case you can present is one too many, but unfortunately it’s not only female healthcare where women have been harmed by male physicians. So unless your solution is for segregation of the sexes we have to find other ways to manage the (as you say unknown) risk of which men are dangerous. Asking for a female practitioner is a solution that is available and workable now (but won’t protect you from a being assaulted by a female). You just have to ask for it and not assume that only women will be working in medicine. Everything has a risk, it’s not whether any rapes or sexual assaults are acceptable, it’s about balancing those risks. Hyperbole isn’t going to achieve that.