AIBU to think using their voucher only on their share was rude?

[Dinnerdrama]

We were invited out to dinner with friends at the weekend.They planned to visit a particular restaurant and asked if we’d like to go along.
We had a nice enough meal, couple bottles of wine, liqueurs. All quite pleasant for a Friday night.
When the bill arrived one of our friends presented a voucher and asked for the bill to be halved and the voucher taken off theirs. The waiter seemed slightly bemused and repeated back the request. Our friend repeated and clarified they wanted the bill split and the voucher taken off their half.
I almost died of second hand mortification. Is this not CF of the highest order?! I wouldn’t dream of doing this when I invited people out. If I was that skint, I’d use the voucher as a couple and
not invite others along.
For the record, I have been out for a meal previously with them where I have had a voucher and I had the voucher taken off the whole bill and split the remainder.
Cannot believe the brass neck, it has put me off going out with them again. Massively embarrassed on their behalf, not sure why, they didn’t seem to be!!

No, even if OP hadn’t shared previously it was poor behaviour by OP’s friend in my own opinion, but I acknowledge social etiquette varies depending on factors like social circle, culture etc.

The background just makes it worse though and makes it clearer the friend acted inappropriately within her own circle.

The chocolate analogy is really good actually, you just don't seem to understand it. The box of chocolates in this instance represents the gift voucher, not the meal.

Of course someone could open a box of chocolates they'd been gifted and eat it themselves without sharing, but not many people who be so tone deaf as to do that in front of a guest.. it's weird.

Of course their friend can use their gift voucher on their own portion of the meal, but it is tone deaf to invite others out by saying you have a gift voucher to use, choose to split the bill (making you better off, and your guests worse off) then only use your voucher on yourself, even after you have accepted using their gift voucher previously.

If both parties paid for themselves then it would be absolutely fine. But wanting to share the cost of the meal, without wanting to share the gift voucher, after happily using OPs voucher, is not very good etiquette at all.

Wow ao you both had vouchers?

It's their voucher, what you choose to do with yours is up to you.

Not cheeky or brass neck at all.

I disagree because the voucher itself isn't the gift, the meal is but it wouldn't survive the post/gift wrapping.

You’re obviously right on this OP.

What other people are groping for is the word discount- discount code, discount card etc

Voucher and gift card mean the same thing.

Yes but one could happen (and did happen) and the other would be just bizarre

yes - the original analogy made sense. It's just the 'correction' with a different version was silly

Why would you be entitled to their voucher? I think it’s cheekier of you to expect that they’d subsidise your dinner!

@SandyHappy is right, I meant the box of chocolates to represent the gift voucher.

Both are gifts (to someone like OP’s friend for example).

Both are fine to use or eat alone, all for yourself, no problem at all.

It’s poor form to haul out either in front of your invited guests and not share.

I agree with you that I would’ve put my gift card/gift voucher towards the total bill, especially if the friends I was with had previously done the same (this is working on the assumption that it’s a group where everyone can afford to do this).

I do understand people’s confusion though. These days, ‘voucher’ really most commonly means ‘voucher code’, usually a percentage off (sometimes an amount). Gift card and gift voucher mean something different and are interchangeable, though I would say that gift card is the more common term now since it’s been possible to load an electronic card with an amount of your choice, as opposed to buying vouchers totalling a certain amount (in the past I remember having to buy, say, five physical vouchers worth £5 each if I wanted to give someone a £25 gift). So yes, I can understand people asking for clarification - my first thought was also that you meant a voucher code.

I don't think they are the same though because no one wants just a piece of paper. The meal is the gift.

This is sooooooo cheeky. I cannot believe anyone would be so petty!

But they didn’t feel they couldn’t accept my offer of sharing my vouchers. They happily accepted, and there was no ‘expectation’ they’d need to ‘repay’ it. However when they found themselves in a situation they ‘could’ have reciprocated the gesture, they chose not to. In my social circle that is quite unheard of and rather perplexing.

Yep, it is confusing me too.

A coupon or discount code - fine to be shared. A bit shitty not to.
A gift voucher/card - prepaid and a gift. Shitty to expect to share it. It is cash, but with conditions (as in where you can spend it).

After seeing this post they, or others, might no longer feel they can accept friends' generosity if they can't pay it back.

You don't know that they 'could' repay it, and if they couldn't would you feel differently? Do you hold your friends to different social rules depending on how much money you think they have?

It’s rude AF but I have seen people do it often . I had a colleague use a buy one chef one free meal voucher her once . Use my meal to get their free . But I have no issues calling a spade a spade so I told the server I wanted separate bills so vouchers her could not be used . He never tried that shit in me again

I’m with OP. If you don’t want to split your voucher, use it another time. But to do it in front of the other couple is not a particularly generous thing to do. It’s not bad but it’s not what I would do, so therefore, it stands out to me as a bit tight. It stands out as ‘not sharing’ eg like having a home made cake at a picnic but not offering any to others.

You’ve used a voucher with them before?! lol you sound like the cheapskate.. voucher use etiquette 🤣😩

OK, I said upthread that I was given a voucher for a day pass to a spa place. A friend came with me. I used my voucher to get in, and she paid for herself.
Should I have paid for half of her entry? If so, why?

So I think you did the right thing too. And I agree with OP in her situation. I’m not sure why. Just my gut. I can’t work it out!! I quite like my gut reaction though. It sits my moral compass.

I think you have this all wrong. Re-write the above like this: The bill was £270. They had £100 cash in their wallet. So they used that and only paid £35 on their card. We paid £135 on our card. 100% correct and normal. I cannot see what your issue is at all. Someone literally paid £100 for that voucher. For example their adult child for Christmas for them. Its not your money. I thought you meant a bogof code or something. You wanted £50 of their money? Why?

If, as it seems, this was a gift card that had been given to the other couple as a present then there is nothing wrong with what they did. Had it been a money off voucher given by the restaurant then the situation would be different.

it wasn’t a gift card. It was a voucher that had been given as a gift.

Er, what is the difference?

Nothing as far as I'm concerned, I would share both. But to many posters apparently it's a crucial difference.