Who gets the compensation?

[LottyLollipop]

Genuinely interested to see peoples opinions on this one....

I am the higher earner and unfortunately feel stuck in a bit of an expectation that if we go anywhere, I pay.
We recently went on holiday (myself, my OH and my 7 year old DD) and our direct flights out there were cancelled the night before and we were rebooked onto a new flight that involved a stop in the middle. Our connecting flight was substantially delayed but we got there eventually and ended up having an amazing time.

I paid for the flights, hire car, accommodation, all food and souvenirs etc. OH didn't even pay for a coffee.

I looked into getting compensation for the delay/cancellation and we were told that we were entitled to it but that I had to issue all the passengers bank details. We have since been paid some compensation, mine and our daughters came to me and my OH's went straight to his bank.

My thoughts were that as I paid for everything, that I should have the compensation which would go towards our next outing. My OH says that the compensation is for the annoyance factor of having to wait around and therefore he is entitled to his money and was therefore going to use it on sorting his car out.

What are your thoughts?

@LottyLollipop never ever marry this man - you don’t want him to take half your assets or worse have to pay him spousal support.

My husband earns significantly more than I do, I still pay for things for him sometimes, and we each oay for day to day bits. I’d let him take his compensation and fuck off with it. I couldn’t be with someone who wouldn’t even get me a drink when we went out!

Unbelievable! What a CF.

Is this actually your husband you are writing about? The father of your child too? I cannot believe what I have just read. I share all money with my husband and him with me so I cannot really fathom this situation. But your husband is an absolute user and freeloader.

You paid twice for those flights.
tell him you want repayment in full or repayment in full his former car repairs

Unfortunately he puts himself first while you put your family unit first. I think this a reflection of what it may be like if he ever becomes the higher earner.

Have you ever worked out how much you actually pay in proportion to what you earn? If you are paying 100% for all the expensive stuff on top of 2/3 of everything else I suspect he has quite a bit more disposable income than you do at the end of the day. Personally I think he is a parasite and this is no example to be setting your daughter.

your other half is a twat

Yuk, what a freeloader.

So he thinks it reasonable to make money from a holiday he never paid for?

That's grifter/cock lodger territory.

I really hope you are not married?
You deserve so much better.

Me and my husband has completed separate finances, apart from 1 bill I pay he pays for everything. I work and a majority of my wages are saved in my own savings account!
If we ever did get compensated for a delayed flight, and I got it paid directly to me, I’d suggest that we kept it and put it towards another holiday, we wouldn’t just waste it

Under UK261 (previously EU261), each passenger has to apply for compensation. However, there is nothing stopping the airline from paying to the lead passenger’s account for all passengers of the party.

British Airways, KLM and Lufthansa (after back and forth on the bank account as I used my EU account and it caused issues) will do it. You just have to ask if it isn’t automatic.

God yes, this a hundred times over x

I work and husband is at home due to disability my wage along with pip for him and me as I have illness also pays bills my annoying thing is we both have a small pot with ex amount in and I end up still paying for all days out, meals takeaways etc whilst his all goes on crap we do put all income into one pot and what we have left is half, only a low income no kids yet I still seem to end up with nothing and him everything, but unless I'm willing to pay we go nowhere do nothing and I like to have days out etc, but this comment has rang alarm bells for me also I'll be honest

It may not have sat well with you that he would rather have kept the compensation for himself but have you ever thought that it might not sit well for him that you keep your finances to yourself and see it as your money and you paying for everything.

If the genders were taken out of your OP or switched to make you male people would be up in arms that you don’t work as a team pooling your money as a family unit and you being the higher earner would be seen as financially controlling.

it shouldn’t be about you earn this and he earns that and you pay for this and he can’t afford to pay for that. You’re in this thing called life together. If one person is winning, everyone in the family should. You should be on even footing.

Stop doing that then. Days out and take aways etc should come from the joint account and the amount sent to your personal accounts should be for you both to spend on what you wish.

If you can’t afford these days out etc because there’s not enough in the joint account you either stop treating yourself, give yourself both less personal money so you have more joint or you both agree to pay half each for these treats.

So many men on MN paying nothing towards their children, leaving it up to their mothers to cover everything. It really is shocking.

They are shit selfish men and fathers.
Women need to stop tolerating it.
How any woman could be funding a man who thinks the dirty business of paying for his own child is nothing to do with him is beyond me, much less find them attractive.

He is taking the p*ss. You paid for the expenses, you should be compensated.
What exactly does he pay for?

Hahaha😂😂😂 the funniest comment I’ve read in a long time 👏🏼

My OH is a high earner and he pays for more than I do. In this instance I would be grateful that he covered the costs and pay him back the money he spent.

If that's his attitude, tell him he should be paying for his own damn flights and hotel.

I'd be yeeting him. He's a man-child expecting you to pay for everything.

Ick

Your story makes no sense. How has compensation gone into his account when you are the lead passenger and paid for everything in the first place? Also - are you not a family? Do you not have shared money?

He is using you for your money. I'd ditch his arse (and in our house I am the higher earner but I am not being used like this dude is using you!)

OP, he’s talking the piss. Yes, you say he’s lovely, but he’s a tight freeloader. Didn’t even buy a coffee? Did he pay for anything for DD? See, I’d tell him he pays half next time at least, and to start putting his hand in his own pocket a bit more, or, tell him you made an anonymous post on Mumsnet, let him read these replies and let your fellow Mumsnetters do the work.

My partner insists and mostly pays for everything, I do fight him and pay for date nights, day trips or theme parks with the children etc, but he will insist on paying the for the meals out, souvenirs etc. When we holiday, he pays the most and I buy us and the children all the clothes and toiletries to go etc. your DP doesn’t seem like a team player, does he spend any of his disposable income on you and DD, or treat you?