Just had a friend hide from me!

[Nefrititi]

I was just on the way back from the school run, I live on a main road so people can park all along it.
A good friend of mine parks there as she gets a lift into work from someone who lives up the road from me.
As I’m pulling up on my drive I see her getting out of her car but I’m already passed her to beep to acknowledge her (she defo sees me at this point)
So as I’m reversing on my drive I see her cross over the road (she normally walks my side and we’ll wave or a quick chat)
Then as I’m reversing she hides behind a large van opposite so that I can’t see her as I’m parked facing the road!
So I waited in my car to see if she would emerge the other side of the van but she didn’t. It was so obvious!
The thing is I’m the last person to hold someone up or chat for ages (massive introvert) and she’s the opposite and absolutely loves a chat.
We are actually going on holiday together next Monday with 2 other girls (me and one of the girls are paying for it as a treat as the other 2 are financially struggling).
I know I can be really sensitive but that just really hurt this morning. Also was my birthday in March and I didn’t even get a card from the 2 girls.

For me it’s the fact she stayed behind the van! I admit to pretending not to see people sometimes when I cba but I’m pretty smooth in doing this in that I’ll just act a bit vacant as I walk past so it’s easy for them to think “oh she didn’t see me/must have been preoccupied” etc (thanks GCSE drama!). Sometimes people have almost jumped in front of me and waved as I’ve done it which is annoying, then I have to acknowledge them! I wouldn’t literally stand and hide behind something till they passed though, that’s weird…

I strongly suspect it’s the holiday. Lovely lovely gesture but most people would feel a little embarrassed by this. Is there any chance she’s found out you lied about the voucher? She might also just be having second thoughts about going for other reasons but isn’t sure how to tell you.

Message her and say 'Hi Jane, sorry I couldn't stop and chat today, run off my feet! See you on Saturday!'

She'll probably message back saying 'Oh thank goodness, I was in a real hurry today and couldn't stop but I've been feeling bad ever since!'

Then you both carry on with your day.

She might have been having a crisis mornng and just couldn't face seeing anyone.

I'm too invested

🙈😆

I once slowed down driving on a country lane when I saw a couple of friends walking down the lane. As I went to wind my window down they marched past without stopping. I felt hurt and wondered if I'd done something. Turned out one woman's daughter had committed suicide. It may not be about you.

She's probably just not in the mood to talk. Sometimes I would do anything to avoid speaking to anyone - even if my best friend knocked on the front door.

These are my thoughts exactly! Just weird. Oddly enough it was my nephews van she hid behind (she doesn’t know this) so I could say ‘ oh Danny saw you in his wing mirror but didn’t know what you were doing’ 😂
Im really now thinking the holiday as the reason. I think that she and the other friend have talked and are thinking of how to get out of it.
It could be spending money issues etc 🤷‍♀️ we’ve basically paid for flights and hotel (b&b basis)
we’re only going for 4 days.
Obviously if it is that then I’d rather them just say and I wouldn’t insult them by offering spending money etc

That’s awful 😞

Maybe she has a massive cold sore or forgot to brush her teeth this morning. Maybe she's on the verge of crying and can't handle someone asking her how she is?
It could be anything and it's probably not you specifically. Send her a message.

I think this is a good suggestion - feign ignorance, then wait and see. If there are no bum vibes there's probably a good explanation.

I’d lay money on both of those cheeky fuckers not turning up on Saturday and also not going on the holiday too and waiting till the last minute to tell you

Couldn't you wave, smile and shout "I'm in a hurry, speak soon!" .

I can feel the vibe in a room change in a hairs breath. (Don’t think you can hide who you are having an affair with from me)

I am always told I am paranoid.

No one comes to say sorry you were right when they find out it wasn't my paranoia

Sometimes little insignificant actions show more of someone’s intentions.

I think the NT brain dismisses what it thinks is unimportant whilst those with a ND brain take in everything and those little insignificant actions are seen just as clearly as the big actions

Whilst trying to come up with ideas of what might have happened we do have to look at what did happen.
This person crossed the road to the side from where her lift usually met her.
Walked behind a van and stayed there.

If you feel she was avoiding you then don’t dismiss the action

You are paranoid, though. It’s not a superpower.

Life is so much nicer when you look for the softer explanations. The harder you make yourself to offend, the less time you spend being offended. If you automatically wondered whether there was something up with her, instead of wondering why she was going this to you, your entire state of mind would be different.

It takes practice if you’re not naturally wired like this (I’m not) but it really is worth the effort.

I'm similar.
Once I've picked up on something like that I tend to choose the kindest explanation whilst keeping my eyes and ears open in the future as what happened and why it happened are very different things.

My guess is the latter!!

Only the parallel universe that is MN would this be considered good advice.

It also sums up, in microcosm, why so many people on MN have no friends, or friends they apparently don’t like very much.

You’d want to make your good friend squirm and cancel the holiday, all because she didn’t speak to you?!

Bloody hell are you that self obsessed that you think the world revolves around you.

She didn’t owe OP a conversation or an excuse about why she couldn’t chat.

I’m guessing people avoid you often.

I think it’ll be more about her than about you. Sometimes I’m feeling outgoing and chatty but quite often I try to avoid eye contact and just want to keep to myself. I’m shy and socially awkward although I do try to put myself out there as much as I can. I would also rather pay my way and not be beholden to people. I hate feeling like I owe people, it’s always thrown back in your face later down the line.

I've looked straight at my husband as he's been driving past, but not 'seen' him, iyswim? My mind goes elsewhere completely, thinking about something while I'm walking along. My daughter does the same.

I wonder whether your friend really saw you or it just appeared that she did?

There are times I’ve seen someone and just don’t have the energy /desire/ time even for a quick chat. Though if I was her I would have just waved to acknowledge you and walked on.

Me too. And sooner rather than later because it sounds as if she might be ditching the holiday. I'd want to have the opportunity to invite someone else.

As someone who has suffered with depression I have avoided people, hoping they haven't seen me, because my head is all over the place and I am about to cry.

But yeah, go with what these posters say about fuck her, ditch the bitch, cancel the holiday. 🙄