Just had a friend hide from me!

[Nefrititi]

I was just on the way back from the school run, I live on a main road so people can park all along it.
A good friend of mine parks there as she gets a lift into work from someone who lives up the road from me.
As I’m pulling up on my drive I see her getting out of her car but I’m already passed her to beep to acknowledge her (she defo sees me at this point)
So as I’m reversing on my drive I see her cross over the road (she normally walks my side and we’ll wave or a quick chat)
Then as I’m reversing she hides behind a large van opposite so that I can’t see her as I’m parked facing the road!
So I waited in my car to see if she would emerge the other side of the van but she didn’t. It was so obvious!
The thing is I’m the last person to hold someone up or chat for ages (massive introvert) and she’s the opposite and absolutely loves a chat.
We are actually going on holiday together next Monday with 2 other girls (me and one of the girls are paying for it as a treat as the other 2 are financially struggling).
I know I can be really sensitive but that just really hurt this morning. Also was my birthday in March and I didn’t even get a card from the 2 girls.

I took it as a tongue in cheek/joke suggestion from @didntlikeanyofthesuggestions

This was my first thought.

No don’t do this FFS.

There was obviously a reason she didn’t want to stop and talk.
You don’t need to know that reason.

She could have close to tears, in a rush, trying to figure something out in her head etc.

I highly doubt the reason has anything to do with you and if it does, she’s unlikely to tell you anyway.

Love this! 🤣

Even funnier that a PP took it seriously!

I had to hide from a friend on the school run once. I had an epic hangover and had just been sick behind a tree.

She’s almost certainly having a horrendous day for some reason and can’t face chat.

I’d give her a little space, not mention it but check in soon with her to be sure she’s okay.

She ignores your birthday, hides from you and yet you are paying for her holiday ? You are being taken for a mug. It is up to you if you allow that to continue

I often avoid talking to people that I like when I see them unexpectedly. I don’t really know why. I think it’s just that I prefer social contact when I know in advance it’s going to happen.

The holiday changes things a bit though. My lack of sociability means I would never go on holiday with girlfriends. It’s a bit more odd that this lady hid from you given that she is usually a sociable sort. Not sure if there is any need to say anything though- maybe just wait till the holiday and see how everything goes.

I'm having a horrific couple of years (!?) and often cry in my car on the way to work. I then get out and the short walk clears my head and lets my face settle down.

I would hazard a guess very few people would guess that was a near-daily occurrence for me. It easily could be for her too.

I really thought she might have txt me to say ‘sorry was running late etc’.
she’s v sensitive herself so I know something like this done to her would have her on the phone to me asking if I’d offended her.
I’m supposed to be seeing her on Saturday so I may mention it then but I’m a coward so unlikely!
But I think once the holiday is over I’m going to keep my distance from them both - tbh I think they’re doing that to me anyway!

Defo not. She was probably running late (her timekeeping was always bad) but she’d always chat (even when I couldn’t be bothered)

I wouldn’t take this personally. As many people have said, she could be in a rush/unwell/looks a state/late for something/just not feeling sociable.

I generally love to bump into people and have a chat, but I’ve done the same thing as your friend twice in the last couple of months. A few weeks ago I was running late to the dentist and was trotting down the Main Street, and I saw a friend on the other side of the road. I quickly put my head right down and chatted away to my baby in his pram, hoping she wouldn’t notice me. Not because I didn’t want a chat, I was just so late. Another time recently I was in Sainsbury’s, having a really bad day and had recently been crying, I saw a colleague who I get in really well with, we’re good friends outside of work. I normally love to see her but knew I looked a mess and would burst into tears if she asked if I was okay. So I ducked down the veg aisle and avoided her. It’s nothing personal.

I would let it go, otherwise will overshadow enjoyment of your holiday

You know you don't need to say FFS? Unnecessarily rude.

I recognise a fellow overthinker in the OP and I suspect that if she doesn't get it out in the open it'll fester and likely turn into something else that it never was. You're perfectly entitled to disagree of course but you don't have to be so arsing rude about it.

Nowtso queer as folk. Your gut instinct is probably right. Sounds like she didn't want to engage.

Perhaps she didn't fancy a chat, even a 2 min one this morning?
Sometimes I don't...things on my mind, a rough start to the day.
I would hope/assume that good friends would get that, and not get upset about something this trivial.

Let her be. She’ll have had a good reason. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you. She may have had a bad night’s sleep, just got home from a night of romance, felt poorly, just had an argument with someone, or just plain didn’t feel like it.

This was my first thought!

Be prepared op just in case.

Either way, it’s slightly alarming to read how many people would crassly pursue this. Life is complicated sometimes. If they are a friend, trust them that now is not a good time for whatever private reason they have and exercise a bit of discretion and move on.

She may be upset, feeling unwell, about to make a difficult phone call, just received some awful news, meeting someone in secret, have unexpectedly bled through her trousers (the latter happened to me once during perimenopause and I had to wave and run from someone I knew), be having a difficult morning for a thousand reasons that is completely unrelated to you op!

Don’t worry-she’s obviously a Mumsnetter. NFM. (normal for Mumsnet)

@Nefrititi Did she wish you on your birthday?

Look these are odd dynamics. You have 2 friends being subsidised on a holiday by two others. That's a very awkward dynamic no matter how you dress it up.

Then on the basis of her not saying hi one morning, you have jumped to huge conclusions and decided to step back from an entire friendship. Are you prone to overthinking/catastrophising?

All of this is a LOT over one person's desire one morning to avoid a chat.

She doesn’t do make up or hair or anything like that and wouldn’t give a sh@t if I saw her like that.
I’ve known her for many years and we worked together for 6 of those.
She’s incredibly sensitive herself and if that had been the other way round would have been so upset.
Her and the other girl are closer and have more contact etc, no problem with that obviously and I like them both very much.
We’ve arranged a get together this weekend so we can organize the holiday on Monday and it’s the first time I’ve seen those 2 for absolute ages.
I’ve got a horrible feeling that if we hadn’t booked this holiday I probably wouldn’t hear much from them at all so I’ll be really pleased when the holiday is over.

If she's one of the people having a holiday paid for by you and one other, she was massively rude.

A friend of mine did the same thing. Parked outside my work place. As I was leaving I seen her car. She seen me. She leant over into the passenger seat, opened the glove compartment and basically stuck her head fully inside it as if she was frantically looking for something. Her window was down slightly, so I just said hi, what you doing here? She acted very surprised that I would be here, at my work place, despite the fact she was parked right behind my car, that she is very familiar with... Turns out she was shagging my colleague behind her husband's back and was there to pick him up. I just happened to be working later than usual. Caused untold dramas, the husband believed I had introduced the two of them, because I work there. No longer a friend, unfortunately 😂

Another poster said maybe she’s trying to get out of the holiday and this honestly has crossed my mind.
We haven’t just said we’re paying for you to go away as they wouldn’t accept that so we’ve said that we have an unused holiday voucher that will cover it.
We just thought it was a good thing to do?

It’s a Monday morning, it’s freezing and pissing down and she just couldn’t be arsed to chat. I get it.

Surely you have seen someone you know well, and swerved them because you didn’t want to chat?