Just had a friend hide from me!

[Nefrititi]

I was just on the way back from the school run, I live on a main road so people can park all along it.
A good friend of mine parks there as she gets a lift into work from someone who lives up the road from me.
As I’m pulling up on my drive I see her getting out of her car but I’m already passed her to beep to acknowledge her (she defo sees me at this point)
So as I’m reversing on my drive I see her cross over the road (she normally walks my side and we’ll wave or a quick chat)
Then as I’m reversing she hides behind a large van opposite so that I can’t see her as I’m parked facing the road!
So I waited in my car to see if she would emerge the other side of the van but she didn’t. It was so obvious!
The thing is I’m the last person to hold someone up or chat for ages (massive introvert) and she’s the opposite and absolutely loves a chat.
We are actually going on holiday together next Monday with 2 other girls (me and one of the girls are paying for it as a treat as the other 2 are financially struggling).
I know I can be really sensitive but that just really hurt this morning. Also was my birthday in March and I didn’t even get a card from the 2 girls.

Most of the comments are making an excuse for the friend, actually.
I think this is just a sign of how individualistic and selfish our society is becoming.

You owe your friends a little nod or wave, at the very least. Put a bit of effort for your friend, if it’s hard at that moment. Hiding from them is ridiculous and rude.

Oh wow that’s nuts! 😂

This exactly! Just a wave would have done it - that would have suited me as we’ve all got things to be getting on with.
But she’s the one who normally will just randomly knock and I’m always so welcoming even when it’s inconvenient.
The bottom line is Infeel she wouldn’t be doing this to someone else who she had more respect for so I guess it’s brought up stuff I suspected for a while

Do they really need to go away with you and your other friend? Couldn’t just the 2 of you go?

If she was trying to hide from you and she, and the other girl haven’t been in touch that is really rotten for them to be acting that way especially as you have offered them a space on this holiday. WAs it these 2 girls that didn’t get you a birthday card?

What are they like with your other friend? Have they been in contact with her, or avoiding her too?

I hate this for her! I have some times where I'm stressed or overwhelmed from a crazy morning and I cant talk to anyone.
You say she's normally chatty and that's all good and well but we all have off days.
I really wouldn't take it personally at this point and not make her feel embarrassed by bringing it up!
Of course there could be another reason like she's changed her mind about the holiday but that will come to light soon enough.
Life is hard enough...dont make it worse for her if she's already having a bad day by making an issue out of it

Yes it’s these 2 that didn’t get me a birthday card. Honestly don’t care much about that as they both sent a nice message on the day but I do know they were out for someone’s else’s birthday that weekend and for sure that person would have got a card etc.
They said oh well do something for yours another time and nothing ever got arranged.
My other friend is actually my cousin but we’re incredibly close and we both grew up with absolutely nothing so our mantra is if you can help someone out then you should and we’ve been so fortunate to be doing ok now and want to share that with friends

Maybe she is feeling a bit uncomfortable about the Generous ‘free’ trip.

I’m quite chatty but if I’m on my way somewhere or doing food shop I don’t really like to see people as I end up wasting time.

Where is the holiday? Have you spent a lot on the booking? You sound very generous & it’s a bit thoughtless of them to not even acknowledge your birthday.

Ordinarly I'd say she's having a shit morning and can't face a chat.

But, you're Paying for her to go on holiday.?!....i think she may be using you

LOL

This thread is mad.

I think you need to drop the rope with her (and the other one) @Nefrititi. Not block her or no contact her. But wait for her to get in touch. Let her lead. Because she probably won't and that way, you won't be doing nice things for someone that either is using you and is ungrateful, or who just really doesn't value you or want them.

We all learn this stuff in different ways. I'm sorry you've had to see this now.

What will you do about the holiday?

I don't understand why she had to linger behind the van. Why didn't she carry on walking briskly towards her colleague's house/car/agreed pickup location?

I was going to suggest that maybe she feels awkward because you are paying for her holiday but you have explained that she doesn't know it's coming directly out of your pocket. She sounds like someone who is sensitive but unaware of how her actions might affect others. I would (I hope) send a text saying I had seen her this morning and hope everything is OK.

100% this!!

Thank you all so much for your replies so far.

Weird behaviour. Perhaps let it go if she's OK usually - she may have not felt she had time to chat and reacted (oddly) in the moment

Maybe she was just having a really shitty morning and didn’t feel like having to chat.

So you and you cousin are paying for the other two women to go on holiday - Heidi and Another.

Heidi hid from you.

Neither Heidi nor Another sent you a birthday card, despite treating other friends better.

You know that Heidi and Another are not your good friends. Why are you and your cousin putting yourselves in that situation? You won't enjoy the holiday and will probably pay for a lot more than the holiday in terms of drinks etc.

Also it’s been so helpful getting it written down.
I’ll be much better later on but it just gave me that horrible feeling in my stomach at the time. As I say I’m incredibly sensitive but I’m really working on myself.
Someone asked where the holiday is and it’s in Portugal

I think it would overshadow the holiday if she didn't say anything.

Maybe her husband just left her and she couldn't face talking to anyone and putting on a face?

I really hope I’m wrong but I’m starting to see it that way myself.
They were both amazing when my Mum passed away and I’ve held onto that but I honestly feel deep down that they both not as happy in my company as I am in theirs.
If they both decide not to go then I’ll go with my cousin regardless as it’s all paid for

Maybe she had no make up, or a bad hair day, or a massive spot?

I do this kind of thing when I am in a rush or, more likely if I am honest, having an “ugly day” and don’t want to be seen by anyone!

Maybe she was upset about something completely unrelated to you and had been crying and didn’t want you to see her OP. Don’t over think it. Just try and act normal around her when you next see her.