MIL keeps asking about children’s savings accounts

[bysy]

A while ago my MIL mentioned she thought it was a good idea if we opened up savings accounts for our kids. So we can save on their behalf and also when the family gives money for them, it can all go into their own savings accounts.

we said yeah good idea, we will get around to doing it. I set up a savings account for them under my own account for now. Anyway, every birthday she’s always asking why haven’t we set up a savings account yet. She’s nagging us. Then recently it was one of my kids birthdays and she clearly got SIL to pressure us in the group chat, asking if we’d finally opened a savings account for our children’s future.

I was super pissed off. For what it’s worth, we do have the savings accounts now and I did tell them that I also have one for them under my own account.

then MIL comes round and tells my son to go and find the card they gave him with money in it (cash) it’s like she wanted to see if the cash was still in the card. It pissed me off again.

when SIL asked on the chat about the account I gave her the details of the joint savings account and said any money anyone had given them has gone in there already and will continue to go in there.

I think it’s so rude and intrusive do keep going on about this though. Kids are 4 and 6 for reference.

also for reference I give my nieces and nephews money for their birthdays and have never asked their parents if they have a savings account or enquired where the money has gone that I have given them.

it’s typical MIL dominance here.

Kids accounts don't get better rates beyond some nominal amount like 500 or 1000.

I had a childhood friend who lost most of her monetary gifts - the father kept such a tight grip of the family finances that the mother sometimes emptied the children's money box in desperation. (The mother died when the youngest was a teenager. The teenager was taken into care when her teachers realised that something was wrong. She wasn't being allowed to study for her prelims/mocks after 9 pm, because all the lights had to be switched off to save electricity.)

Why do you think savings in the parent name isn't tax efficient? You can file a tax return for the kids and assign interest to them if needed.

Yeah that sounds sensible. Savings you shouldn't have easy access to. But giving the current as well helps them learn about finances.

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/savings/savings-accounts-for-grandchildren/

Grandparents can still open accounts for grandchildren but may need parental permission. Suspect DH gave it to IL though would not have said no.

If parent did say no to us in future not sure I'd be handing over the cash to them instead - though here it's birthday money which we see as gifts so kids can buy what they want or save till they see something they do rather than future planning.

Tell her she's more than welcome to open her own accounts

I'd give the children £10 each for their birthdays in cash to spend how they like and I'd save what I originally planned to give to their DIL for them to put by in my own ISA, either to be given to them when I thought they were old enough and sensible enough to spend it wisely, or to be left to them in my will. That way I'd be avoiding unpleasantness with a DIL who doesn't seem to like me.

I think part of the issue on this thread is that actually, setting up 'child savings accounts that grandparents can pay into, without disclosing the quantity' isn't always quite as straightforward as some people seem to think it is.

I set up an aptly titled 'Kids saver' with a high street bank when my son was a couple of years old, which we have direct debited a small amount into monthly ever since. It pays a fairly decent interest rate, for total deposits capped above the amount we were able to save.

When my son was 7 my MIL stated she wanted to start some regular savings for him, and did we have a bank account for him she could send it to? She wouldn't tell us how much money she wanted to save, so in the event that she wanted to save more than the capped amount per month for his 'Kids saver' account, I set up both a cash ISA and a stocks and shares ISA in our son's name.

I then went to sort out the account details for her....

The Kids Saver one, despite being for under 16s and requiring a lot of my son's details to initially set up, is actually in my name. I queried this twice with the bank and they say this is how they set them up.

Its also not the case that my husband and I can't access this money. In fact I withdrew a lump sum to set up his ISAs with last year, via our joint account, as it was the simplest way (and from what I could work out the only way) to do it.

It is, once in the ISAs, 'his money' and is unwithdrawable until he is 18. But that wasn't the case when it was sat in a normal, high street Kids Saver account.

For both the ISAs I set up, one an NS&I children's cash ISA and the other an stocks and shares ISA, as neither are current accounts, you can't carry out simple BACs transfers to them. They involve a fairly complex number of steps for people who aren't the 'registered contact' for a child's ISA. And only a parent or guardian can set up an ISA for a child and be the 'registered contact'.

Its actually quite hard to pre-grease the wheels for a grandparent to deposit unspecified sums of money, with ease, for their grandchildren in a way that keeps that money ring-fenced from the dastardly DIL who bothered to set the whole thing up in the first place...

OP, maybe your husband needs to start having a perusal of the Money Saving Expert website and sort it out with his Mum?

But it sounds like the do have easy access to those savings, if they can transfer money between their savings and current accounts? That set up sounds like the opposite of stopping them having easy access to savings, non?

Well an adult can transfer fairly easily from their current to savings and vice versa, they just can't take cash directly out of savings with a card. So I guess it's trying to be like the same but for a kid. So presumably parent is the only one who can add the money from savings to current?

No, the poster said this: 'They can then internet or phone bank and transfer the money between the two.'

No parental involvement necessary according to that sentance.

Hmmm. In that case I wouldn't be getting that for a child. I'd want only parents to be able to take out of savings till they were 18.

Why haven’t you opened kids accounts? There’s no tax on interest then. You are still responsible for the money but it’s in their name. Give the account details to MIL and get her off your back. It sounds like you are deliberately not opening accounts because MIL wants you to. I’d be willing to bet that a lot of parents have accounts for their kids futures. Especially now.

That’s true. Fortunately my two know that theirs is for Uni and will respect that.

Unfortunately I’m sure every parent who has ever saved for a child only to have them blow it as soon as they can has believed this at the time. You have no way of knowing this 100% sadly, not matter how well you think you know your children, nobody does.

@TheCurious0range That is exactly what I did for my own children. I suppose it depends really on how much people trust their in laws.

I know for sure.

Its interesting that posts are focusing on wanting to keep the money away from an 18 year old. When that is the exact opposite of what the OP's MIL wants.

She has suggested that she wants the money she has given the child to be stored in an account in the child's name. It is very difficult for you to stop a child accessing money in their own name, particuarly if it is in a junior ISA, which many people have mentioned.

The reality that people keep on skirting around, with their claims of 'financial savvy' etc, is that there is no easy, high street bank-supported way for a grandparent to give their grandchild money while they are under the age of 18 and before the grandparent dies, while retaining privacy in the matter, that avoids the child being able to get their hands on it at the age of 18.

My kids could transfer money from saving to current - it had their birthday/christmas money and later I put weekly amount in for bus. I didn't control that as frankly it was their money as gifts or money for a purpose. Any earned money they made also could go into it.

The savings for them which they didn't get to 18 were child trust and IL accounts - and then money under DH he spends on stuff for them as he sees fit usually uni expenses.

I don't think there many ways to stop them getting money saved in accounts with their name at 18. This is understandable as they are legally adults.

The Op talking about birthday gift money - perhaps I have less generous relatives - they did get money often in leu of actual presents and some of that when younger was put in child trust fund - but it was never huge amounts. Plus our kids never got pocket money from us - so this birthday/christmas money was all they had access to - so if as teens they saved it up to go out with mates we were fine with that and they probbaly had access to less money than many on here.

Yes I think people on here seem outraged with the OP for not letting the MIL invest money, yet nothing like that has been said. MIL has only asked regarding birthday money and where it is going.
Posts on here make it sound like the OP is trying to swindle her kids out of thousands!
If MIL actually spoke to OP and said she had money she wanted to give them and where best to put it then I am sure it would be very different. Not everyone has rich families or families that can even make a small monthly amount and I think that's what is blinding some responses.
£50 birthday money really doesn't go far if that is their spending money instead of a present.

I can't see a problem with opening up a junior ISA for each child. Maybe Mil wants to pay I to it for them. Opening an account in your name is controlling and off that you won't let your DC have their own savings. In an account in your name with your child named on the account you can withdraw money whenever you wish. Your mil will know this and wonder why you feel the need to do this.

Because it’s up to the parent (in discussion with the child once they’re old enough) how to spend birthday money - ie money that has been given as a gift to the child as a birthday gift.

Everyone replying to this thread like the MIL is wanting to invest thousands in a ring fenced trust - there’s literally nothing in the OP or any of her replies that suggest that this is anything other than a bit of birthday spends.

The OP and her husband might choose to save that on behalf of the child, but keep it easily accessible in case something comes up that the child really wants - a trampoline, a climbing frame for the garden, an expensive experience or membership - and they decide that that’s the best use of at least some of the birthday money.

You can’t give someone birthday money and insist they save it - if you want to save for them then do so, or have a conversation with your own child their other parent about it, and offer your suggestions for what’s best. If you want to give a birthday present then give the present and accept it’s no longer up to you to dictate what happens to it.

Mil wants to make sure you don’t get your grubby mits on the money for the children! She sounds lovely.

I’m sorry OP I think you are in the wrong here. You know you are trustworthy and I’m sure MIL believes you are trustworthy. But the only way to absolutely guarantee that her gifts end up in the children’s hands is for it to go into an account in their names, not an account you’ve opened and earmarked. If god forbid you go bankrupt or whatever creditors could get at it. If you die it will be subject to IHT. And, I’m sure you’d never do this, but there would be nothing to stop you raiding it for a kitchen or whatever.

Not trusting someone 100% with your money is not quite the same as not trusting someone. When money is involved, especially when circumstances get difficult, people can get elastic with their promises. I am with MIL.

I’ll add that I don’t really see what you are trying to achieve here other than assert dominance and control.