MIL keeps asking about children’s savings accounts

[bysy]

A while ago my MIL mentioned she thought it was a good idea if we opened up savings accounts for our kids. So we can save on their behalf and also when the family gives money for them, it can all go into their own savings accounts.

we said yeah good idea, we will get around to doing it. I set up a savings account for them under my own account for now. Anyway, every birthday she’s always asking why haven’t we set up a savings account yet. She’s nagging us. Then recently it was one of my kids birthdays and she clearly got SIL to pressure us in the group chat, asking if we’d finally opened a savings account for our children’s future.

I was super pissed off. For what it’s worth, we do have the savings accounts now and I did tell them that I also have one for them under my own account.

then MIL comes round and tells my son to go and find the card they gave him with money in it (cash) it’s like she wanted to see if the cash was still in the card. It pissed me off again.

when SIL asked on the chat about the account I gave her the details of the joint savings account and said any money anyone had given them has gone in there already and will continue to go in there.

I think it’s so rude and intrusive do keep going on about this though. Kids are 4 and 6 for reference.

also for reference I give my nieces and nephews money for their birthdays and have never asked their parents if they have a savings account or enquired where the money has gone that I have given them.

it’s typical MIL dominance here.

I think you are both completely inefficient with money and easily offended.
you go online and you open a child ISA.

i m with your mother in law. Something not right. You can open an IsA in 5 mins, yet you didnt but opened one under your own name and then get pissed off.

you seem very defensive

It's in an ISA now but will look at moving into investments in the near future, by the time he's 18 it'll be around 50k if I don't invest it and just leave it where is it and keep adding at the rate I am currently

YANBU - she sounds like an interfering twat.

If she wants to contribute to the children’s finances then why doesn’t she set up an account for them herself?

She really doesn't.

I hope that the OP doesn't allow it to turn into a bun fight because ultimately it will be the kids who will lose out.

You really should get Jisas set up- the compounding interest is so valuable. Your MIL is right, although pushy.

YABU. She’s trying to help your children.

You say they have a ‘joint savings account and one under your name’. What do you mean by this exactly? Are you just saving the money in an account in your name….?

For children for long term saving, they should have a S&S ISA each.

I agree something doesn’t sound quite right…

Because a Junior ISA can only be set up by a parent or legal guardian. She can pay in but she cannot set it up.

It's hard to tell whether she is interfering and being nosy or whether she wants to be helpful.
When she keeps asking about the children's accounts, have you actually said yes all sorted, why do want to know?
I think you need to put the emphasis on why she needs to know you have done it - as others have said, is it because she wants to give them money for savings?

As I have known several people where the parents have stolen money given to their kids in savings/inheritance, it's quite an understandable fear that your MIL has when you are refusing to have an account in the DC names. It's not helped that you are dodging the question and that you haven't even said that the account under your name is just the kids money, so you cannot know fully how much belonging to who.

Because with most bank accounts you can open a child saving account.

It's nothing to do with her.

You should really have a separate account for your children, such as a Junior ISA which is invested in stocks & shares. If family members contribute on top of a monthly contribution from you, your kids will end up with a hefty amount by the time they are 18.

We had no family contributions and only saved the minimum monthly amount until recently and both our kids are on track to £10k on their 18th which will cover 1 year uni fees.

If you have a generous MIL, max out on this offer!

Look at trustee accounts. I have one for my (also ADHD) son. They stay in trust at 18.

Why not set them up a JISA each and give her the details?
You are cutting off your nose to spite your face really!

If it’s in the group chat, surely it’s directed at your DH? Let him deal with it? Why is it your issue?

Although it sounds like you’ve got accounts in their names and are not sharing the details.

I know someone who spent £30k of his kids money given by a grandparent. If I was thinking of giving a substantial amount in the future I’d want to know that it would be somewhere like a junior ISA that can’t be accessed until 18.

our kids have a shares junior isa and a shorter term savings account. The shares is getting quite substantial because we’re not keeping it in cash.

she could but you need a lot of the children’s documentation to do it and parents have to be involved but if the OP was willing to help then it would work. Sounds like OP wouldn’t want to.

The children with your supervision can use their birthday money for whatever they want. If they want a double ice-cream and a colouring book, they can decide.
She should start her own savings plan for them if she is worried and buy them a cheaper gift.
She sounds like a nosy MIL. Is she controlling in other ways?

I'm another who doesn't like the idea of kids being handed thousands on their 18th birthday. With a trust account its up to parents when they sign it over.
An isa goes straight to the child.

I knew a boy who blew thousands on Xbox games, trainers and stuff. Virtually nothing to show for 18 years worth of saving.

However while I have a savings account ear marked for the kids they also have 1st Saver accounts for birthday money.

I am with you. It’s none of her business what you or the kids do with a financial gift. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a good idea or not, they are your children. Very controlling.

No but it does mean that if you have an accident and suddenly required care. This money would no longer be seen as your ds it would form a part of your whole estate and would be used towards care fees.

You can set up accounts in a way so they cant get to fritter them away.

To op I think your MIL is sensible wanting an account. To put money into. My late mil transferred money into eacch of her grand childrens accounts until they turned 18. Not a lot £20 here and there but over the years that grew.

OP didn’t say that she could afford to save extra for the children or how much MIL is giving as a gift.
She might not have spare cash to save and MIL could be gifting £20 a year.
In a household without spare cash, the children use their birthday money for a treat, and a smaller amount for savings. £5.

Why won’t you give the account details?

In two minds about this because I know what it's like to suffer a pushy in law and if she has thoughts or plans why doesn't she just say ? Next time id call her out...don't you trust me mil ?

However on the other hand unless your very well off...I would open a few different accounts for the DC.
A sipp self invested personal pension ,a small amount of money now has decades to compound and make that money work harder !
Give her those details
A stocks and shares ISA also give her those details and your own account with the DC joined.
Again any money put into stocks now will have a long time to build up.

Will do, thanks

He does also have a Monzo account and savings pot off that for bits of birthday money from relatives etc, but a trust account might be a good option for long term savings from us