MIL keeps asking about children’s savings accounts

[bysy]

A while ago my MIL mentioned she thought it was a good idea if we opened up savings accounts for our kids. So we can save on their behalf and also when the family gives money for them, it can all go into their own savings accounts.

we said yeah good idea, we will get around to doing it. I set up a savings account for them under my own account for now. Anyway, every birthday she’s always asking why haven’t we set up a savings account yet. She’s nagging us. Then recently it was one of my kids birthdays and she clearly got SIL to pressure us in the group chat, asking if we’d finally opened a savings account for our children’s future.

I was super pissed off. For what it’s worth, we do have the savings accounts now and I did tell them that I also have one for them under my own account.

then MIL comes round and tells my son to go and find the card they gave him with money in it (cash) it’s like she wanted to see if the cash was still in the card. It pissed me off again.

when SIL asked on the chat about the account I gave her the details of the joint savings account and said any money anyone had given them has gone in there already and will continue to go in there.

I think it’s so rude and intrusive do keep going on about this though. Kids are 4 and 6 for reference.

also for reference I give my nieces and nephews money for their birthdays and have never asked their parents if they have a savings account or enquired where the money has gone that I have given them.

it’s typical MIL dominance here.

I've voted YABU because I think every child should have their own savings account and you can set one up online very easily in 15 minutes. It sounds like MIL wants to pass on significant sum in future and she shouldn't have to transfsr to your savings

They have, though. OP is just hacked off with the implication that she’s not to be trusted.

Once again - it’s birthday money, not enough for a new kitchen.

If you wouldn’t be happy happy to trust me with the birthday money you were giving my 4 and 6 year old I’d really rather you stuck it up your arse honestly. Not to mention you’d have to think pretty low of your own son if you thought he was going to let that happen. Buy them a toy then, and leave them the money in your will.

For the hard of reading comprehension -

• The MIL and SIL want to put the children’s birthday money directly in a savings account - birthday money, not ‘a significant sum’, not all her worldly goods - £50 once a year
• OP has in fact sorted out a savings account for her children. Who are 4 and 6.
• The way OP has done it is a perfectly normal way of arranging savings accounts for young children - lots of non-felonious posters on this thread have done the same.
• The type of account OP has organised makes perfect sense for things like birthday money - which makes sense to be accessible in case there’s something it could be spent on for said child
• She’s shared the details of the savings account and it’s not good enough for the MIL, who not only won’t transfer the birthday money into that account she also demands to see the card and cash she gave to reassure herself it’s not been taken by the child’s mother
• The children’s father has also set up an account in the children’s name and money deposited in there, for all those concerned about them having an account in their own name. That’s not what they’re choosing to do with birthday money, and that’s their decision as the children’s parents. Don’t like it? Don’t give cash.
• Even if they had the holy grail of Junior ISAs, it’s not as easy as MIL being able to just deposit in there directly (particularly if she is secretly planning a ‘significant sum’ as some seem so convinced) and the chances are the money would still have to be transferred via the parents anyway

She doesn’t trust you and thinks you’re pocketing the money. Maybe you are? Who knows. I’d only pay into an account in the child’s name tbf

Why don’t you want your children to spend their own birthday money? I don’t think it would have crossed my mind that you might steal their birthday money- but I would have been upset that you weren’t going to let them spend it on what they wanted.

If the money is birthday money from relatives, and the account is in the child’s name, and the account does not contain money from you or your husband, then you don’t need to declare it for tax purposes (on your tax return).

If you add money to the account from yourself HMRC assume it is your cash and you need to declare the interest on your tax return.

You must declare the interest you receive from all accounts you own if the total is over £500 for a higher rate taxpayer. £1000 for a lower rate tax payer.

For this reason alone I’d use their account for all gifted money. And another account for money I gift.

Sadly, I think it used to not be that uncommon for parents to "borrow" from money given to kids. I know it happened with several of my friends and two of my distant cousins. Someone who has experienced or seen that happen might just be reluctant to rely on trust.

Funnily enough I started a thread a while ago to debate whether it was better to save in our name so the kids don't blow it at 18, or in their own names.

All this savvy financial advice about "not being able to comprehend why you wouldn't" and "you physically can't take out money of a child's account" wasn't forthcoming then.... possibly because no mention of in-laws to get worked up about!

Where on earth does the OP say that?

This thread is one of the most batshit examples of people just making stuff up that is nowhere in the OP that I’ve seen for ages.

There is nothing to suggest OP isn't letting the children spend their birthday money.
If anything it's the MIL who is potentially giving money instead of a present but now wants it in a savings account and proof of where it is rather than letting the children spend it.
As I have said in this thread £50 doesn't go far. The kids are a bit young, but as they get older and perhaps have a games console that would only buy a game for a switch (and might not even cover the cost of that!).
Don't most parents of young children to an extent control what birthday money goes on? E.g. child sees toy in the shops they want. Parent says ok well you have money from grandma you could use to buy it.