MIL keeps asking about children’s savings accounts

[bysy]

A while ago my MIL mentioned she thought it was a good idea if we opened up savings accounts for our kids. So we can save on their behalf and also when the family gives money for them, it can all go into their own savings accounts.

we said yeah good idea, we will get around to doing it. I set up a savings account for them under my own account for now. Anyway, every birthday she’s always asking why haven’t we set up a savings account yet. She’s nagging us. Then recently it was one of my kids birthdays and she clearly got SIL to pressure us in the group chat, asking if we’d finally opened a savings account for our children’s future.

I was super pissed off. For what it’s worth, we do have the savings accounts now and I did tell them that I also have one for them under my own account.

then MIL comes round and tells my son to go and find the card they gave him with money in it (cash) it’s like she wanted to see if the cash was still in the card. It pissed me off again.

when SIL asked on the chat about the account I gave her the details of the joint savings account and said any money anyone had given them has gone in there already and will continue to go in there.

I think it’s so rude and intrusive do keep going on about this though. Kids are 4 and 6 for reference.

also for reference I give my nieces and nephews money for their birthdays and have never asked their parents if they have a savings account or enquired where the money has gone that I have given them.

it’s typical MIL dominance here.

You’re putting your kids money into your joint account? Why? Either it goes directly to your kids to choose a toy or something, or it goes into their own account. You do sound a little irresponsible, and maybe your MiL knows that and wants to make sure the money isn’t gone. Seeing as it’s in your own joint account… she’s not wrong.

Have you kept track of what money is theirs? Why haven’t you just given your family the children’s account details so they can send money directly?

So you’re putting all the money they get into one account? I wouldn’t like that if I was giving children money for a present.They should have their own money in their own names. Obviously long term savings is different, but birthday money? That should be theirs.

My niece bought a car, nice handbag, influencers brands, as she was doing an apprenticeship until she dropped out. Sister has to bankroll her again through college.

She could set up a bare trust herself if she wants to.

@Needspaceforlego there are many reasons for that though .
Often the DC has had no proper financial education and maybe little house hold money so getting a few thousand is a bonus and finally they can get what they want.
However with longer term financial education /proper investments /money spread around , and learning to build the capital pot to yield a consistent stream of money fewer 18 would blow it.

It sounds dodgy you have not set up the kids own accounts but made it 'joint'.
I'd be suss about you as well.

Think it is strange that you set up an account in your name rather than DC.

How do?

Ha ha I mean how so?

i just think, mention it once as an idea- ok fine. Keep going on about it and nagging and get sis in law to nag is too much. It’s just none of her business. If she wants to save on their behalf, she can, if she’s that worried about their future. It’s none of her business how we do this for our kids.

for what it’s worth, they both have accounts now. My husband did it. But I also have a savings account in their name in my account. For which I gave the details.

I also have a savings account in their name in my account.

What does this mean?

I get that your MIL can't understand your logic, as I don't. If you send someone money, you want it to go into their sole account. It's nice to think you are sending their birthday money straight to them and it isn't going into some pool of money.

I am a grandparent who has done that. It’s actually quite complicated and you need the birth certificates and permission from the parents. And you cannot set up an isa for grandchildren, which is often the better account for them.

Which means you have access to their money. Not normal.or ok

Speaking as someone whose DD blew every penny we’d saved for her as soon as she turned 18, I wish I’d have saved it in my own name even if I’d potentially had to pay a bit of tax on it.

Yes this.

To me it depends on how much MIL is contributing or is thinking family give. From my own family (which is small) my kids get around £130-£150 for birthdays/Christmas. £30 of that is the in laws. Not really a long term investment and in lieu of a present gets spent. It's also not realistic to expect even half of this total amount to be saved. Buying a switch game for example is around £40-£50 so they wouldn't be able to buy much.

If MIL is going to be blunt about continuing to ask about the account I think I would be blunt back and ask why she is so insistent on it and what contribution she is going to make to it.

It depends what your plans are for the money.

DD has an investment account since birth, my mum and the PIL gave a lump sum and topped it up all the time and that was always designed for her when she turned 18. She knew about it and hasn't cashed it in yet, you can teach a child how to save and invest.

We have a separate investment account in my name for university funding.

But money like birthday and Christmas - that is for fun or when they are younger for maybe a larger purchase like garden toys, annual membership, paying towards a non-mandatory school trip like skiing. So I would park that money on an account in my name and definitely not as an investment account/restricted access.

When DD was a teen she got a normal saving account where she saved part of her pocket money for herself or put the birthday/Christmas money there. At that stage she got all money payed directly into her current account she has since she is 11.

Have you moved all the money you’ve been putting into your own joint account back into their own account now? Because it doesn’t sound like you’ve been using or saving the money for their treat things. Sounds like you’re using it for everyday expenses. It’s their birthday money. It’s not for your everyday expenses.

I think it’s such a massive insult that she or anyone else thinks we would spend the odd 50 pounds the kids were given for their birthday ! So outrageous. You guys have confirmed my suspicions here. She’s such a dick.

No tax is paid on an ISA in the child's own name. If it's in an account in the mother's name, then tax is paid on any interest if it's not an ISA. If it is an ISA then it depletes the mother's own ISA allowance.

Then there are the complications if - God forbid - anything were to happen to the account holder.

ETA That was in response to @Mithral .

Do the kids get to spend it?

@SnappyQuoteryeah it’s in there. It’s not a lot they’ve been given but we also put 500 pounds in for the each child to open the account,

But sometimes it needs to be in the 'pool' of money to actually give them the gift. Presumably people give money as they aren't sure what to get or so that the money can be put towards a bigger item.
Perhaps I am forgetting that on MN people don't just give a token £10.

Set up accounts that will be worth having. It's such a shame endowment policies disappeared tbh, so ask a financial advisor to help, then ask family to send money there.

Are you less well off than SIL and so Mil thinks your spending the kids money? If so she's OOO.

But, I don't get why you were being so difficult. Remind MIL of the account info. Ask her to transfer £ directly in.

YABU by not setting IP accounts initially, that's what's caused this.

I don't know why you didn't just set up accounts for them. My children's grandparents have a little standing order into their named accounts and it will give them a nice bit of savings when they hit 18.

What you do with money you save is one thing, but it's reasonable for people to want to set up a way to give directly to the children

@bysy because that happens. See it on here quite often, asking if it is okay to raid the kid’s savings/birthday money.

Have you transferred the money you have in your account into their accounts now?