AIBU to buy the house I love despite my parents' concerns?

[Orangebananas]

I’m an only child of older parents, they live abroad, I live in the south of England. Not sure if it matters but I opted not to have kids and currently single! They come and stay with me maybe 3 times a year, 2 weeks on the trot before we all start hating each other.

Last year I decided I would move and finally found a house I can afford. I was really excited, it’s got buckets of character, is in the perfect location for me. It’ll need a bit of work long term but nothing I’m worried about / unprepared for.
Anyway, I went ahead and got my lawyer on it. Until my parents came to stay with me.
I set up a viewing so they could see it, my hope was that they would love it too. Instead they were horrified, my mother had not a single positive thing to say, my father literally no opinion as usual. The entire time they stayed with me I heard all their gripes, the main being the stairs were too old and narrow and that there was no downstairs loo. Now my dad is banging on about how I should compromise and buy somewhere that basically they like and inconveniences me by being out of the area I love and is practical to me.
Im trying to find solutions to the above like putting a loo in, but does this make me a dickhead if I buy it?

If they can’t handle stairs it seems unlikely they will get on a plane to stay with me anyway.
It’s driving me mad, I just want to buy the place that I love and be happy there. I can’t deal with all this nonsense and guilt. I work really hard and I don’t want to mortgage too high to get a place that has loads more space that I’ll pay to heat but never use.

Or am I being a shitty selfish only child not thinking about what they want?

So they moved away from the UK to somewhere they wanted to be and to a house they liked? And now (because they chose to move away) they expect you to move to a house and location that they like, but you don’t?

I don’t think it’s you that’s the selfish one.

Unless this purchase is being partially funded by your parents on the understanding that they have somewhere to stay on visits to your country then I cannot think of any reason why you should buy something that suits them rather than you. I suggest you continue with your original plan .

We’ve already had that conversation - see my
other comment!
but yes I think they just don’t get the market, they haven’t bought a house in U.K. since the 80s!

For everyone saying travelodge, consider how many times you go to the loo during the day. If they're visiting for 2 weeks, they'll have to spend a lot of time put of the house, maybe at cafes, or popping back to the hotel or something else. It's fine for a few days but I can imagine might be tiring and a bit embarrassing over 2 weeks.

I know there are exceptions, but in my experience our parents generation give bad advice about housing because their experience/expectations are out of kilter with the market.
We were criticised for not having a downstairs loo, a driveway or better gardens. Well yes, two bed terraces don't tend to have these things, but yes it is all we can afford, and yes that is how much houses cost, no we're not getting scammed!

Given that they chose to inconvenience you by moving to a different country, they can hardly complain that you’re inconveniencing them by not providing a downstairs toilet!!

@Mt563 I’m confused - why would they keep going back to the hotel and out to cafes, rather than just going upstairs to the toilet?

I don’t see why you’re taking their input so seriously, OP. My parents were horrified when we bought a big, battered old house in a v prestigious ‘old money’ suburb. It wasn’t that the house needed work, it was that the location meant we were ‘getting above ourselves’ because hospital consultants and lawyers live here (near three hospitals) and they thought we should have bought in a LMC suburb whose location was far less suitable for my job and DS’ school. 😀

Just ignore.

I’d be mortified if either of my adult DCs were thinking of not buying a house they live based on whether or not it was suitable for me to come and stay three times a year.

You're buying a house for you. If you love it and can afford it you should go for it. I assume they chose to live abroad, you should also make choices that suit you.

Tell them they can sleep on a sofa bed in the living room and you'll buy a commode if they both become too infirm to manage stairs but still wish to travel and stay with you for weeks on end.

It's your life, your money. Buy the house you want to live in now. Not one your parents might wish to reside in if/when they become physically disabled.

95% of the time you'll be there on your own, buy it! It's not often a house sings to you. Buy it, do it up, enjoy your home.

Let property be your one true love - but it can be difficult too!

Edited as wrong thread!!

Because the stairs narrow and possibly steep (assuming from 'old' based on my experience of victorian terraces) so they'll struggle to get up them, hence mentioning the lack of downstairs loo and people suggesting they stay at an accessible travelodge or similar nearby.

You have to live your life ... not buying a house because your parents don't like it isn't your problem to solve, especially if 'solving it' means you need to spend more and they're not willing to help you with that.

Guess what? One day you will be their age - or do you think that those old narrow stairs will have no impact on you? Just as the lack of a downstairs toilet. Unless you are doing the house up for a flip, this is a great inconvenience you will have to navigate, you must bear it in mind. But like may posters say 'sod the parents and their wisdom'. A great proverb goes 'Only fools learn from their own experience, intelligent people learn from others' experience'. Listen to your parents!
Edited to add: Yeah, by all means, listen to the randos on MN - they have your best interest at heart, unlike your nasty parents with gripes, who only wish for your downfall.

Did you parents consult you before they bought their current house?

They prefer to come here so my mum can see her old mates etc. and my dad basically won’t go anywhere else.

It doesn’t need to work for all of you, it needs to work for you. You’re paying for it and you’ll be living there, you’re a fully independent adult, your parents don’t get a vote in what you do anymore.

The OP isn’t their age now, the stairs aren’t a problem for her. At a point that they become a problem she has the choice to buy something different. Most people don’t buy one house to see them from cradle to grave.

I get that but I’m in my 30s. I’m not buying a bungalow at this age 😂

You can put a stair lift or an actual lift in, and a downstairs loo. 🤷🏻‍♀️

This has got me thinking about the house I grew up in - which I would never in a million years have bought. We’re different people and have different priorities and tastes. Thus it looks like I’ll keep going and learn to live with the inevitable fall out!

You have to live there, buy the place you love. Parents can stay in a hotel when they come or an air b and b.

Yeah, cos everyone would be thrilled to buy a house with no downstairs toilet and rickety stairs, I forgot. I think you will find only folk with unlimited money (or a recent head trauma) will entertain buying a money pit at any age. Unless this is a cunning plan?