AIBU to spend all the money on something for myself. If so, what would you spend it on?

[Hellosunshine92]

I have had a very intense year. I worked hard, got an extra qualification that allowed us to move into a better rental flat in a better area so my children could be in a catchment for a better secondary school. I worked 3 jobs throughout the week and then studied in cafes between them. My partner earns a good salary too but until recently we were not able to save anything at all as everything was going on bills. Now we have a tiny bit of spare money (we haven’t been in this position ever).

I have recently sold an expensive item that was gifted to me by my grandma before she passed away. It was an expensive bag really beautiful but completely useless for me and my lifestyle. I sold it for 3000 pounds. I would really like to use this money on myself this summer . I have gone through 2 pregnancies, postpartum depression, loss of my family members. sleepless nights, endless house moves and constant lack of extra money. I just want to treat myself and invest into myself after all the hard work. I feel I constantly give to others and have given up a little on how I look/dress etc. My husband doesn’t mind it at all although we could have probably used it on another family holiday instead or started saving for a house deposit.

Aibu to think that sometimes it is healthy to just treat yourself. Also if you had a spare 3000 what would you do for yourself?. On my wish list is some nice higher quality clothes that I can mix and match easily and look simple but stylish, a new haircut and a high quality dentist to get my front 2 slightly chipped teeth bonded and teeth whitening.

It’s debt…not dept. Dept is short for department.

We lived in Europe for most of our lives. In Germany it is perfectly normal to rent. Nobody would ever think it is something awful. We are not sure we even want a house in the UK in the future.

Just to clarify … I am not borrowing any money from anyone on here so there is no need to have such emotional responses. I had a hard couple of years and I am sure my grandma would have wanted me to live a little and not just think for another emergency.

Getting your teeth done for sure will give you such a confidence boost. Your nan would be delighted that something she left you would make such a difference to your life.
Don't know what you want doing with your hair, but a good cut won't even come to £100, so you can easily get that. New clothes - well, you can spend as much or as little as you like - from what you say you don't have to buy very many pieces to make a huge difference to your wardrobe.
But your comment about the indoor cycling - it feels to me that this is what you really want, for yourself, and that you feel a bit guilty for wanting. Look into monthly membership at local gyms, especially at your local sports centre. They can be pretty reasonable if you go regularly. Some classes might be included in the membership fee, so it might not be as expensive as you assume.
I've got money for my birthday and I'm thinking of getting a nice watch. But I don't want anything too expensive because I don't want to worry about wearing it. So I'm not spending as much as I could, and I've joined a gym. A fitter, healthier, stronger me has to be worth the money!

Teeth, haircut and then spend the rest on some clothes that make you feel good. Most people on here don’t really get what it’s like to struggle and have nothing for years, or that being able to look nice means that you feel good. Your grandmother sounds like she had style and enjoyed life, so honour her by doing something that you enjoy.

So if you are planning on leaving the. Why not put the money aside for a moving fund?!

Congratulations! Enjoy every penny. Personally I’d buy myself a really expensive handbag and a girly weekend away x

Because I want to live and enjoy today too and not constantly put the money aside for something else .

YABU to spend more than a tiny fraction of it when as a household you don’t have savings.

You’re not ‘constantly’ putting money aside, you’ve said you’ve not until now been in a position to do that. It’d be the sensible thing to do for yourself and family.

Yes, me too. Maybe a couple of items of clothing for work to smarten up my look.

Go to John Lewis for a personal shopper appointment and ask for a capsule wardrobe of a few items and allocate maybe £600 to it .

I think I’d spend on the dental work (though worth looking into interest free payment plans), then temporarily save the remaining 1K or so for emergencies like a boiler repair.

Hopefully it won’t be needed, and you and your husband can start saving from your salaries. Then once you have an emergency fund (from salary savings), you can then treat yourself with the remaining 1K.

I’d find it stressful if I had an emergency and no savings to fall back on.

Do treat yourself, you deserve it & have earned it.

Totally OT, but what sort of 2nd hand bag is worth that much ?

For the first time I have started being able to save a little. At first I was like the OP, wondering what to spend it on but instead I’m saving an emergency fund. I have one months salary put aside and looking forward to the next. For context, I haven’t had a proper holiday in 6 years but it can wait.

You ASKED!

I can't see why you wouldn't spend your own money on yourself and/or whatever you like.

I don't think you need to have worked especially hard or been through anything in particular in order to justify this though, if you're fortunate enough to be able to afford it and are confident that you will be able to cover unexpected likely expenses (car repairs, bills and so on) then I'd consider buying things you need or fancy/the odd treat a very normal part of a healthy life and not a selfish thing.

If you have no money at all in savings in your household though, I'd approach it slightly differently by getting my teeth done and saving the 1k until such a time as I'd saved enough (from increased earnings, to replace that), and then spend it, but that's just me.

🌷very sensible!!

I mentioned that my husband totally supports this. As he appreciates the times when I was pregnant, breastfeeding, putting my owns interest and dreams aside to make things work around family. It is the first time I had a chance to treat myself to anything at all.

You are worth investing in op. This money isn’t part of the household budget, it’s a gift from your nan TO YOU. And your dh has agreed that he sees it like that too. He is happy and excited for you, interested to see how you spend it and enthusiastic about your plans. You don’t need to justify yourself.

I’d bank it, and use it as the starting point for a house deposit fund.

Chanel

I think I would buy myself a nice piece of jewellery to remind myself of my gran, in these circumstances. Something you will keep forever, even if it's just £100 of the money.

I'd avoid the trap of splashing out on midrange clothes, that are more expensive but no better quality.

I would spend £200 on tickets for the family to something you enjoy - e.g. theatre, theme park, zoo, etc.

I see the appeal of the teeth, and i think dentistry is worth getting right. I would be nervous of spending 2k and being disappointed with the result though. It's so much.

Really research your teeth. I got veneers, didn't know the downside. I was due a inheritance, but with the cost of living/housing, I've had to help my adult children out for more that I planned for and am now about to spend nearly £2k on top dentures, rather than implants. It's fine to spend the majority on yourself. I love travelling, even on the train the the UK. I love the theatre and there's a show I'm going to treat myself to, in premium seats for my 60th. There's travelling that I regret not doing when younger, your outlook and energy changes.

If I had left my granddaughter a fabulous bag that she’d sold because it was of no use, I would want her to spend the money on whatever she would enjoy the most. Not savings or a washing machine or anything of that ilk. This is money that you wouldn’t have had so it doesn’t need to be allocated to anything, spend it on something that you will be able to look back and think, “THIS is what I was able to enjoy by selling it” it was a gift and it should be treated as such. If someone gave you money for your birthday or Christmas would you feel bad about spending it? I’d assume not, this is the same thing just of a much higher value