AIBU to spend all the money on something for myself. If so, what would you spend it on?

[Hellosunshine92]

I have had a very intense year. I worked hard, got an extra qualification that allowed us to move into a better rental flat in a better area so my children could be in a catchment for a better secondary school. I worked 3 jobs throughout the week and then studied in cafes between them. My partner earns a good salary too but until recently we were not able to save anything at all as everything was going on bills. Now we have a tiny bit of spare money (we haven’t been in this position ever).

I have recently sold an expensive item that was gifted to me by my grandma before she passed away. It was an expensive bag really beautiful but completely useless for me and my lifestyle. I sold it for 3000 pounds. I would really like to use this money on myself this summer . I have gone through 2 pregnancies, postpartum depression, loss of my family members. sleepless nights, endless house moves and constant lack of extra money. I just want to treat myself and invest into myself after all the hard work. I feel I constantly give to others and have given up a little on how I look/dress etc. My husband doesn’t mind it at all although we could have probably used it on another family holiday instead or started saving for a house deposit.

Aibu to think that sometimes it is healthy to just treat yourself. Also if you had a spare 3000 what would you do for yourself?. On my wish list is some nice higher quality clothes that I can mix and match easily and look simple but stylish, a new haircut and a high quality dentist to get my front 2 slightly chipped teeth bonded and teeth whitening.

Get your teeth done as a priority, then maybe family treat if anything left over. I did similar with teeth and the effect on my confidence was amazing....you won't regret it and you can be sure your gran would have approved!

FWIW I agree with you @Hellosunshine92 that this money should be spent on you, as if your grandma were treating you.

We all need treats, especially if we spend our lives putting others first. And I think teeth and clothes/presentation is a worthwhile investment in yourself.

If I had it, I’d probably buy a course of study, but you sound as if you don’t need that right now! My other love is travel but as you say, the amount won’t go that far. You could get some lovely pieces for your wardrobe though.

She always loved to see me smile hence the minor dental adjustments I want to get done first to gain this confidence back. Thank you for your lovely message it meant a lot.

It really doesn’t matter how much you’ve earned it, deserve good things, or whether your H agrees.

That won’t pay your current and future costs.

It’s just not sensible to spend it. As a household you have no savings, you have DC, and in a financially vulnerable position.

We are not in a financially vulnerable position. It is not fair to say this when many people are actually in this position right now in this country. After all the essential bills and food we have spare money left .

I would want to buy a few treats for myself but would probably put the bulk of it towards some treats for the family. It’s a fair chunk of money and I would enjoy spending on a family treat more than I would enjoy spending it all on myself. I do a lot for my family in terms of the day to day stuff but I’m a low earner so I don’t often get the chance to treat them. So it feels special when I can.

I hope you enjoy it, whatever you end up doing with it.

Lots of people having it worse doesn’t mean your position isn’t financially vulnerable - you have zero savings and are renting. Your OP describes your financial challenges.

Treat yourself, your gran would want you to. New clothes, dentistry, then maybe a weekend away for the family?

Yup absolutely spend it on yourself, maybe try to squeeze in a little spa day or night away too!

Oh, I’ve just seen that you don’t have any savings. I would put it in savings!

We survived on one scholarship with a toddler and a baby in a studio flat throughout Covid. That was vulnerable position. Right now it is definitely not and many people live this way

My general rule with any bonus - save half, spend half! Generally my bonuses are work ones so I get 50% into my pension and take the other 50%. Sometimes this goes on something for the family like a holiday, home improvements etc but this time (all being well) I’m buying an at home reformer pilates bed. They are welcome to use it if they want to but probably won’t and I don’t feel guilty in the slightest

You should’ve just said you have 3k and what should you treat yourself to, people here are being wilfully obtuse. You’ve got a good job now, so does your partner, you’re on an upward trajectory and you have pregnancies ‘out of the way’ and no debt. And this was a gift from your nan for you, not to be slowly dripped away on the grind of life with nothing to show for it.
I can’t advise what to spend it on though cause I’d want a mulberry handbag!

If you’re wanting to save for a deposit then I personally couldn’t imagine spending 3k on myself. Yes its for you, but a home is for you and your kids. Sure grandma would approve.

100% treat yourself. I would probably buy some decent clothes, nice perfume, nice pj’s

Thank you that is exactly that. I didn’t ask people to help me make up my mind whether to put it all into ISA or spend it. I have already decided on a treatment plan with my dentist and that is going to be 2k alone.

You sound really resentful of your recent family life. Some of the things you are describing as to why you deserve these treats, your DH has been going through too. Also if you are working three jobs that will have a knock on affect for your children.

Can you spend all the money on yourself? Yeah if you want. Would I? No, I would treat us all as I am generally happy with my lot and would take pleasure from treating us to family things.

Not quite sure why you have asked tbh.

Ignore the haters OP.

Having recently worked hard towards a promotion after changing careers completely several years ago , I was in a similar position recently .

I’m early 40’s and was diagnosed with under active thyroid last year however was very acutely unwell under the NHS and found that they largely were ignorant of UAT.

I spent some of my bonus and promotion on a private endocrinologist and it was the BEST few grand I’ve EVER spent in my life.

Due to getting my health under control, I’ve managed to lose 4st since Sept (with the right UAT medication inc WLI).

I’ve then got what we (dh and my sons) currently call my “40’s makeover”

In the last 2 months , this has been some of my 40’s makeover.

Thyroid Nutritionists consultant - specialising in autoimmune diseases, LIFE CHANGING!

Hairdresser for a completely different style - plus £180 on good shampoo, conditioner and home hair treatments.

New glasses, sunglasses and contact lenses

Skin and make up consultation - cost £685 - however only this week I’ve added to that collection as the cosmetic company had 10 items for £100 - think I saved £150 due to this offer.

Spa weekends at local and abroad with my DH x 3 and another in a few weeks.

New hiking attire , dh and our sons love hiking and previously due to the UAT , I wasn’t able to go with them on the larger walks , I can do now and I’m absolutely loving every minute of our wainwright challenge (214 mountains, we are on no 31 of our 214 challenge)

Dont feel guilt of putting yourself first, it’s an absolute must at times.

I'd have no qualms about spending the money on myself. Dentistry will take up a lot of it especially if you consider follow up appointments but it is still a worthy investment. Re your wardobe I would have a look at your lifestyle and look at what you need. I'd look to build a capsule wardobe for Spring/Summer and then set some money aside for Autumn /Winter of possible. I'd investment in better quality fabrics and if you aim for a capsule wardobe and spend intentionally you will be surprised that you don't actually need that many pieces.

If it was me I'd have bought myself the Celine 16.

You having previously been worse off and many people being worse off than you and / or living without savings doesn’t make your spending plans sensible.

If you save most of it (or pay off any debt you have if that will save you interest) you can have some security and a buffer for unexpected costs, for yourself and family.

If / when your situation further improves you can have some of the costly things you understandably want then.

would 3k even get you a family holiday?

it’s really hard to spend money on yourself when everything else comes first so enjoy every minute of spending it on you!

Sorry no ,that's a deposit for a house ..or at the least the start of saving for one .
Well ,for me anyway

I have to be honest if my husband inherited a bag from his grand mother sold it and then spend every penny on himself I would think he was pretty selfish. £2000 in his pot £1000 in the family pot feels better imo

So would I. I spent £3500 on invisalign but only after i’d saved up a decent emergency fund.

With no savings you’re only ever a slight emergency away from debt.