AIBU to spend all the money on something for myself. If so, what would you spend it on?

[Hellosunshine92]

I have had a very intense year. I worked hard, got an extra qualification that allowed us to move into a better rental flat in a better area so my children could be in a catchment for a better secondary school. I worked 3 jobs throughout the week and then studied in cafes between them. My partner earns a good salary too but until recently we were not able to save anything at all as everything was going on bills. Now we have a tiny bit of spare money (we haven’t been in this position ever).

I have recently sold an expensive item that was gifted to me by my grandma before she passed away. It was an expensive bag really beautiful but completely useless for me and my lifestyle. I sold it for 3000 pounds. I would really like to use this money on myself this summer . I have gone through 2 pregnancies, postpartum depression, loss of my family members. sleepless nights, endless house moves and constant lack of extra money. I just want to treat myself and invest into myself after all the hard work. I feel I constantly give to others and have given up a little on how I look/dress etc. My husband doesn’t mind it at all although we could have probably used it on another family holiday instead or started saving for a house deposit.

Aibu to think that sometimes it is healthy to just treat yourself. Also if you had a spare 3000 what would you do for yourself?. On my wish list is some nice higher quality clothes that I can mix and match easily and look simple but stylish, a new haircut and a high quality dentist to get my front 2 slightly chipped teeth bonded and teeth whitening.

I’d sort your teeth and put £200 aside for new clothes and shoes. I’d use the £800 left to have some for a rainy day when I want another treat, some to start paying for the spin class you mentioned and I’d put the rest in family savings.

that is a sensible plan indeed ! Thank you for sharing .

I did prioritise financial stability that took a hit during my maternity leave. I got an extra qualification in a different work sector and have been working hard to get my confidence back. I deserve a treat .

As you’ve said, repeatedly.

Up to you! You’re not prioritising your financial stability now.

You have sought and received validation from the 70% of posters who voted YANBU or posted ‘treat yourself’, ‘you deserve it’, ‘YOLO’ stuff.

I would always prioritise an ‘oh shit fund’ before a ‘holiday or treat fund’.

Couldn’t imagine going on holiday and not having at least a small buffet of savings remaining

Well that is good that you could not imagine that. My children have both asked for a holiday away for their last Christmas as they have never been on a beach holiday in their lives. They said they would be more than happy with a small Christmas gift if Santa could arrange a holiday instead. My husband and I listened to their wishes and put this money aside together for the trip. You do not know anyone’s individual stories and journeys . Life is not just numbers on a bank account though there is much more to it than that.

if the OP had decided to kep the bag her grandmther had left her, I do not think most people would be saying she must sell the bag

I think an inheritance or birthday money or a gift is different from getting a work bonus. and the receipient is entitled to spend it on themselves or keep it for themselves, if they wish to share that is up to them, like I would consider a box of chocolates given to me for a present that it was for me to decide whether only I ate them, whether I let the family have one or two but i am not obligated to share it equally
In most countries in the world an inheritance is not considered marital property ( even within the UK Scotland doesn''t count inheritance as marital property even in divorce nor does it count pre-marital assets)
I think the OP had a bag which she was entitled to keep as a bag or in this case swap for dental treatment
if she had got a 3k bonus from work I would consider it family money just like her salary and for it to be a joint decision on how money was allocated

Separately to this I agree with most posters that emergency savings and being consumer debt free are financially astute goals and that they should be attained before attempting to buy property.

By all means treat yourself. You've had a tough time and this item you sold did not belong to anyone but you. When I got some money I chose to get my teeth fixed but you don't have to buy one big thing you could treat yourself to a spa day and buy some new high quality clothes.

Perhaps you have cognitive dissonance over this, OP? 70% YANBU isn’t bad on MN!

The backstory about yourself, H, gran, DC and so on isn’t relevant and won’t convince the 30%.

I would spend some of it ...maybe 300 (about a tenth of the money)on a good bag I really like, is my style and which I would never have bought for myself without this money. It would be a bag I had put a lot of thought into regarding my own style and I would get huge pleasure out of being reminded of my dear grandma every time I used it. Don't know what I would do with the rest. Enjoy op 💐

You only live once OP. More than half of the population across Europe have no savings, A huge portion of society goes to bed hungry, so what if you don’t get access to savings from living weekly expenses.
It is 3k not 30k. Your DGM gifted the bag to you for pleasure, put 1k into a savings pot, enjoy the rest of your money.
Some nice clothes for your new job, nice hard cut, you’ve worked hard.

@Cherrytree86 I dont know if that comment came after mine but I don't want to stop anyone spending money but op can turn that 3 grand into a growing pot so she can regularly spend money on herself or even put some to holidsys.
Once it's gone that's it. .
Why not grow it in investments so she can keep spending .

I’ve never seen such a nasty thread on here. OP, you’ve done really well and deserve a treat.

Numbers on a bank account is a roof over your heads secure and food on the table- literally nothing is more important than that. A nice smile is only any good if you have something to smile about and when you’re waiting for emergency accommodation, food bank referrals or begging family for money there’s not much smiling to be done!

I'd go clothes shopping to the nice shops and buy whatever I wanted. Usually I'm scouring the sale rail buying things at the wrong time of the year to save £££ and praying my size is there. To just buy the new stuff regardless of price ( within reason) anf get some quality classics to hopefully last a few years would be heavenly.

If you’re going to spend it all, spend it on something that, when you look back after it’s all gone, you don’t have any regrets.

Clearly most people are not understanding the huge effect dental health can have on overall health - dental problems can cause heart and brain issues among other things. Go and have your teeth fixed and enjoy every penny of that money as I’m sure your Grandmother would have wished for you 😊

About 15 years ago my dgm died and I was given £1500. I had hoped to share the £500 between my 4dc so they would buy something that would be from their dggm and spend the £1000 on me but as it was I had to use it to live! I'm sure she'd have understood but it still makes me sad. Spend it and know your dgm would have approved.

For the past 4 years I have been saving £50 a month with Help to Save (on UC) and it matures in July. I will get £3000 which I am giving to dd3 (18) to give her some savings. I would be upset if she just frittered it away (not that the OP is doing that) but obviously it will be hers to do what she wants with. The OP's £3k is not the same and she has thought a lot on how to spend it. Don't feel guilty!

Definitely treat yourself (but keep a bit aside for emergencies/future treats.)

I’m with you - teeth and a couple of good-quality clothing items will take you a long way. A good coat (eg smart Hobbs trench for summer or a nice wool coat for winter) can be a good investment that means you always look smart. Again, Hobbs have good ones and my Stefanel camel coat still looks amazing 20 years later although it was only everyday wear for a couple of winters.
I also got a very nice soft brown leather jacket a couple of years ago that looks smart although it’s nominally a casual style. Jigsaw have some smart short jackets currently.
Also Jigsaw jeans - mine are a couple of seasons ago but really nice quality and cut.

I'd do 50/50

Half towards the teeth you want so badly (if you are financially comfortable you should be fine to save the rest in the time it takes to wait for your appointment)

And half towards the family you chose to have

if you are in the UK go to Eastern Europe to do your teeth, hair etc. It is cheaper plus it is a holiday and you will have spare for clothes :)

This thread has turned into what people think you should do rather than answering your question.
I think if you truly don't need the money for house stuff etc then do what you want with it.
The couple of times I have inherited money I've used some of it as a momento.. Not the real examples but for instance if I'd shared a love of a particular artist with the person who'd left me money I'd buy a piece of their art.
Or if the person who left me money was the one who'd got me into cooking I might buy some really good knives, more than I'd normally spend.
So in your shoes I'd buy a great bag that does fit your life then yes, do what you want with the rest.

This. It’s the most sensible thing to do. Get the haircut and a payment plan for the teeth, save the rest.