AIBU to spend all the money on something for myself. If so, what would you spend it on?

[Hellosunshine92]

I have had a very intense year. I worked hard, got an extra qualification that allowed us to move into a better rental flat in a better area so my children could be in a catchment for a better secondary school. I worked 3 jobs throughout the week and then studied in cafes between them. My partner earns a good salary too but until recently we were not able to save anything at all as everything was going on bills. Now we have a tiny bit of spare money (we haven’t been in this position ever).

I have recently sold an expensive item that was gifted to me by my grandma before she passed away. It was an expensive bag really beautiful but completely useless for me and my lifestyle. I sold it for 3000 pounds. I would really like to use this money on myself this summer . I have gone through 2 pregnancies, postpartum depression, loss of my family members. sleepless nights, endless house moves and constant lack of extra money. I just want to treat myself and invest into myself after all the hard work. I feel I constantly give to others and have given up a little on how I look/dress etc. My husband doesn’t mind it at all although we could have probably used it on another family holiday instead or started saving for a house deposit.

Aibu to think that sometimes it is healthy to just treat yourself. Also if you had a spare 3000 what would you do for yourself?. On my wish list is some nice higher quality clothes that I can mix and match easily and look simple but stylish, a new haircut and a high quality dentist to get my front 2 slightly chipped teeth bonded and teeth whitening.

The op should be 'Granny was loaded, left her estate to charities and all I got was a handbag aibu to be fummin'.

Sorry op I'm being lighthearted .

Get those gnashers done!

You should have put this in chat or fashion.

It is perfectly normal to rent in many countries I lived in. I do not think less of myself because I live in a rental. As I said we only just got to this position when we both earn enough to save something aside.

What would you call putting your own wants above stability and security for your family and children, if not selfish? Genuinely, I’d like to know?

My husband didn’t want any of this money because it wasn’t his. He wanted me to spend it on myself.

😂 that is the real AIBU. But yeah, get your chompers done OP.

Exactly… so you have very very tight finances, no emergency fund, no buffer, your only option is debt if something goes wrong. You have the opportunity to change that, and want to put yourself first instead- that is something you should think less of yourself for OP.

I spend a lot of money on myself at the moment and make no apology for it. I'm almost divorced and need to look after myself.

I do expensive reformer and lagree classes, and have also started doing painting sessions at a local painting cafe type thing - I'm creating a sizeable collection of shit artwork 😅

I'm also going on a nice holiday to relearn horse riding.

Definitely get the dental work done and treat yourself to some classic cloth s that will last you and make you feel good - you don't sound like a person who wants a massive wardrobe so worth investing in some staples. For the cycle classes.....I'd trial a spin class first before calling it fun 🤣🤣 literally the most brutal classes ever hahaha enjoy it!

And good for you!!!! Life is for living.

Sorry to be a Debbie downer again but it’s perfectly normal as an adult to plan for emergencies and have emergency savings. Not just deal with it when it happens, plan in advance.

So as a compromise, save it in a savings account until you’ve saved another £3k from your wages for emergencies.

I would take £1,000 and buy something lovely maybe a piece of jewellery as an alternative inheritance to remember your Nan and then treat yourself to a new capsule wardrobe and maybe have the dentist plan monthly with some of the remainder. At the end of the day your Nan gave you the bag / money equivalent. It’s for you to remember her and be happy.

In your situation I’d save it all tbh. You should do whatever you want to do with it though as it’s your life.

@JustWhatWeDontNeed I’m going to guess you’ve also got some savings!

100000% you should use the money on yourself! And how lovely your husband is supportive of that!
when I had some money from an inheritance I bought a designer bag I’d wanted for years and a piece of jewellery both things I will use forever and pass to my children. Then I took myself on a spa weekend in one of the fanciest places in Scotland all bells and whistles 🤭
think about how you want to spend the money - do you want something to show for it or does that not really bother you!
also you sound like an absolute queen 👑

Facials , massages

I'd add a really nice mug or wine glasses to the list. Something that I would use regularly and enjoy

OP I reckon you should spend £2k on the teeth. Then I would buy each family member a small treat eg a Lego set, jellycat etc. Then spend the rest on something special like some small diamond studs so you can feel special every day. And then slowly start building up your wardrobe with vinted and supplement it with new stuff over time. You need more shoes and clothes!

I just bought a second hand Bayswater, but as you sold a bag, I doubt that will work for you. As its second hand I'm trying to use it every week without fear of ruining it. Right now it's like a precious baby. I love it!

£1500-1750 on just you and the rest saved or spent on your family. Sorted.
Amazing what a mainly useless (unused) handbag can do.

To be honest I didn’t expect so many angry responses especially as the sum wasn’t huge and wasn’t really any kind of inheritance, my husband was ok with the me spending it on myself. I did not ask any advice regarding saving it etc. it is a shame people feel the need to call you selfish and laugh at the fact that you live in a rental flat. I mentioned in my OP that we moved into an area with a good secondary for my kids hence renting as the prices for the houses next to us start with 700k. Not sure how my 3k would have made a difference here. I hope everyone is doing ok and sorry that my quite lighthearted post caused such an emotional uproar.

thank you for all the posters who read it is intended and shared the things on their own ‘wish lista’

Do it! I would buy something lovely like jewellery or art so if needs be in the future you could sell it and get some money back.
I splurged on a Rolex a while ago and I don’t ever intend to sell it, but I like knowing I could if I had to.

@Hellosunshine92

youre a mother, OP. That money should be put in savings for your kids’ future house deposits, not frittered away on frivolous indulgence for yourself!

I would be stashing it away towards a house deposit, so I could get out of rented accommodatin, but I hated renting & wanted my own home. Do you have a pension?

you are very bloody cruel. I spend every single pound of my salary on my children daily. I gained a qualification so I could continue to do that. This money was from a grandmother to her granddaughter.