AIBU to expect some tidying from MIL while babysitting at ours?

[Sofitella]

AIBU to think my MIL could really do a bit of tidying when she is at our house looking after DC?

Just got home from a business trip and DH had asked her if she could help put DC to bed and supervise until we both got home. I come in from a day that started at 5am and a 3 hour journey home to find the house in a complete tip, dirty dishes, dogs not been let out, DC school bags, swimming bags with wet clothes in etc all just dumped on the floor, she’s lying on the sofa reading.

Now I totally understand that she’s doing us a favour and doesn’t have to do anything…but would you do that? I know I definitely wouldn’t, and if I had some time to kill once the kids are in bed I’d help out by at least sorting out the mess which had occurred on my watch!

Now have to start a major tidy up and I’m so exhausted 😔, and DC are complaining that they haven’t had enough to drink and are thirsty in bed and need water!

My own mum would have swooped in and everything would be done and spotless and a cup of tea offered on arrival.

I think you’re fortunate to have had childcare whilst you were both at work. I wouldn’t expect anything beyond safe kids.

Ohh the shoes. We are a no shoes house too and my parents will walk through the house with muddy shoes on and say I’m OCD 😩

Can I just get this straight, the rules for MILs are:

Must only want to spend time with the children under the strict supervision of DIL. Must not play with the children too much or too little.

Must never be left alone with the children unless DIL needs free childcare. But must drop everything to provide said childcare because the children will hate her when they grow up if she doesn’t. And must be keen but not too keen.

When providing free childcare, must adhere to every rule or DIL will withdraw contact.

Mustn’t touch DIL’s stuff or tidy as it’s a passive aggressive snipe at the housekeeping skills of the family.

Must tidy up as it’s selfish not to while providing childcare.

Got it

@LiviaDrusillaAugusta our first grandchild is due next week. If DIL carries on like that, she'll get all.

If she’s a MNer she will. Oh and don’t let MIL see the baby for the first few months - the DM is fine but DIL wants ‘our little family’. When she doesn’t meet it, she mustn’t cuddle it. But she must be suitably interested and send lots of presents (but only the ones the DIL specifically wants)

We did but I think it was mum that time

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