Feel absolutely devastated my dd isn’t coming home this summer

[Lemonmeringue76]

My dd is not coming home from uni this summer, even though the holidays 4 months long. All my friends’ children are; all over social media I see posts about not long until they come home and his all these parents can’t wait. We had such a lovely summer last year - a holiday, spa days , lunches and shopping. I had it in my head I’d get two or three more summers until she had a full time job and would move away.
I was getting so excited and now I feel so down about it. I keep thinking I am literally the person paying for her rent in her uni city and I have paid to make myself this unhappy.

Them halls sound extortionate. My DS paid just over 5k a YEAR in the student flat but £250 on top for utilizes and wifi.

He only graduated last year so not in the dim dark past

It's worse today in this country.

I was shocked at the difference. We tried to apply for the cheapest uni accommodation but that was the best we could get until she got used to the area.

@Thechaseison71 I would say that is about right for halls. And that is why parents are expected to top up minimum loan as it won’t cover accommodation never mind anything else.

Especially in some areas where jobs are scarce or course has a huge workload not all students can work enough hours to cover shortfall. We didn’t expect DS to work in term time but he has worked every holiday.

Also we wanted DS to be in a safe area and have reasonable accommodation.

I'm surprised anyone goes in the halls at that price. Can't see why people would choose to cough up so much extra ( although I suppose if they aren't paying themselves it wouldn't occur to them)

@Thechaseison71 not all areas have a wide choice in prices

With my DC they did not get a choice of which halls
They could have got cheaper flats in subsequent years but we were happy to pay a bit more to get a good standard of accommodation
They did not work term time as we wanted them to focus on their studies

They may not but it seems the halls are the most expensive you can get

So tell me why can't they get cheaper flats the first year rather than subsequent ones?

I’m wondering if she’s met a guy she likes who’s also in her university city for the summer.

Because when you move to a new city with a months notice it’s not easy to find a flat or a houseshare. You may not know where your lectures will be and where in the city is best placed. You will also be moving into a place with people you don’t know, who may not even be at your uni.

halls are generally a good idea for first year as it’s good for short notice once results are out and your place is confirmed. They’re usually central to the uni, and this is where you’ll meet people to sort a flat share with the following year.

Because the cheap accommodation is taken by other students who are already living in the area and signed contracts months before new students even knew where they'd be studying.

Private rental isn’t always cheaper than halls.
My DD chose cheapest halls yr 1 £6700. Yr2 her room in a private flat has been £8400. She’s on min loan just under £5000. It’s rare for min loan to cover accommodation unless you go somewhere very cheap like Preston or somewhere with a scholarship - Queens Belfast knock £2500 off their yr1 halls for GB students.

Ok. Seems like the student _" villages" are actually a good idea then. ( Think greenbank at Liverpool)That's where both my DS and his girlfriend moved into at the start.

I didn't actually have anything to do with this. He sorted it out himself apart from me having to sign the guarantor form. Hence why I asked

Tbh I thought all students did this stuff but it seems that a lot of parents on here are very involved with it all

It's ok to feel disappointed that she won't be coming home for the summer if you were expecting it and enjoyed her company. But "devastated" seems ott to be honest. It's not that you aren't going to see her at all.

When I was at Uni I spent my first summer working and travelling in the US. The second summer I spent working in London. I would have thought may parents had lost the plot if they wre "devastated" about this.

Celebrate the fact that she is becoming more independent and enjoy the time you do spend together.

@Thechaseison71 Many 18-year-olds do need parental guidance at first, especially if they’re moving to a new city and don’t know anyone. It sounds as if your DS and his gf went to the same uni so they had each other from the start. My DD went to uni a three-hour plane ride away so she didn’t know anyone nor the city!

After her first year in halls, she moved into a flat with friends and they’ve organized everything themselves since.

Parents are often involved because they have to pay money!

Yeah I understand the pay money bit but not finding out the options, seeing what's available etc. As I said I was presented with guarantor forms. Although he had saved to pay the deposit himself

I think it's understandable that parents are involved when they're shelling out potentially thousands of pounds a year, though.

So it's basically kids from rich families unable to research these things themselves?

No, I'm saying that when parents are shelling out thousands of pounds, they generally want to be involved in the research

Many students live in uni halls for the first year. Sometimes the cheapest ones are taken before the student can book them. When DC was looking at Loughborough we were advised that they would be given a time slot on results day to book accommodation and to have about 5 choices in mind as you might not get your first choice (so you might not get the cheapest room you wanted)

DS went to different uni in the end and paid about £150 per week for uni hall but only about 40 week contract. Went into private accommodation the following year for £115pw but was for 12 months (assume with new rules could have a shorter lease) @Thechaseison71 I have just looked up Greenbank and they are quoting £200 plus a week, which is much more than DS paid at his uni, so I’m surprised by you saying you thought the hall costs quoted by another poster were high

No need to eye roll at me as I wasn't interfering in my son's uni and accomodation choices stuff. And I didn't shell out thousands. I earned nowhere near the 62k that gets minimum loan He told me when he whittled down the choices of where he wanted to stay. He had visited the student village ( well a couple ) when he went to uni open day. . He told me what he preferred, how much it was costing and his budget.

Because they wanted to go into halls (like most first years who go away for Uni!)