Was I wrong to report this?

[Farageneedstoeffoff]

Name changed for this, as absolutely don't want it linked to my regular posts.
Last weekend, a male friend of mine sent me a sexually graphic video (him masturbating to climax) totally out of the blue.
For context, this is a friend of 6 years, 5 of which he has had a girlfriend.
Because of past trauma (including being raped as a child and, separately, as an adult), I totally freaked out over this and reported him to the police (after contacting his girlfriend, then blocking him on everything).
Have I overreacted?

That's such a weird response. So his actions just get ignored?

Maybe if they started getting reported every time, they'd stop flashing at women.

This sort of thing is in fact a crime. Its not ok and men should face consequences.

I know, right. I'm appalled by a few of the comments.

If you think reporting this is 'OTT' (ffs) then you are no friend to women. It's bad enough when men minimise sex offences. But now we have handmaidens batting for pervs. Fantastic. 🙄

Sending a video like this to ANYONE is ALWAYS a mistake - I mean, it’s illegal…

Why would I want to block anyone?

I'm sure OP found it hilarious 🙄

You did the right thing.

Sorry, just realised you didn't mean me but the pervert who sent sexually explicit video to a woman.

What he did was a criminal offence, the kind of starter offence that can lead on to rape and even murder if not nipped in the bud early.

That's not a case for just blocking his phone number so he can do it to another woman instead of you.

Cyber flashing is a criminal offence in England and Wales as of 31 January 2024,, punishing the unsolicited sending of sexual images with up to two years in prison. The law applies when images are sent to cause alarm, distress, or humiliation, or for sexual gratification.

Why would you not report a criminal offence that is bad enough to have a two year jail sentence attached to it?

Are you the sort of person who thinks women shouldn't complain if they get their boobs groped or bum pinched on a night out?

SMH.

Dirty fucker!!!! Good for you OP - more women need to call this out.

Until I read your update I did perhaps think it was a mistake as I did once receive something from a (female) friend that we never discuss! Her boyfriend’s name is similar to mine. To do this on purpose 🤢🤢🤢

He’s committed a serious sexual offence

I call under bridge dweller on this one

It should be banned

You absolutely done the right thing in reporting to the Police and telling his girlfriend. Why on earth any male thinks he has the right to send photos or videos like that is beyond me. I hope he is charged and i pray his girlfriend leaves him. OP i hope you have the support you need.

It's not OTT, it's an actual crime. reporting to the police is exactly the right thing to do.

Jokes are supposed to be funny. More inclined to believe you thought you were being clever and it backfired. JFC

I hope you're doing okay @Farageneedstoeffoff

How can that be right that a male pc takes the statement?

I dunno. Have you seen Succession? 😄

OP, he’s 100% in the wrong and you did the right thing reporting him.

Sending sexually graphic videos is a type of sex offence. Perfectly reasonable to report it

Could you have handled it differently? Of course, but you dont owe him the benefit of any doubt when hes done something like that. You felt violated, its criminal - the police is an appropriate response. The most serious response. But you owe him no less and you dont need to justify that to anyone.

The guilt is not yours to bear OP, you have done nothing wrong. It should belong to this man and to the people who abused you when you were younger, or, to quote Gisele Pelicot "shame must change sides". Reporting isn't an easy thing to do, and it's understandable if you didn't feel able to do so then.

It would also be understandable if, given your past experience, you'd freaked out and reported without checking

The idea that he couldn't help it is nonsense. There are a lot of steps involved in what he did, too many for it to be an impulsive, momentary loss of control.

And even if it had been, you would still be well within your rights and not unreasonable to report.

You've done nothing wrong
You're not to blame
It's not your fault.

I'm so sorry for what you've experienced both with him and in the past. I hope you're getting the support you need, but if not it may be worth contacting victim support. AFAIK they support victims regardless of whether the crime is reported to the police.

Take care xx

The guilt is not yours to bear OP, you have done nothing wrong. It should belong to this man and to the people who abused you when you were younger, or, to quote Gisele Pelicot "shame must change sides". Reporting isn't an easy thing to do, and it's understandable if you didn't feel able to do so then.

It would also be understandable if, given your past experience, you'd freaked out and reported without checking

The idea that he couldn't help it is nonsense. There are a lot of steps involved in what he did, too many for it to be an impulsive, momentary loss of control.

And even if it had been, you would still be well within your rights and not unreasonable to report.

You've done nothing wrong
You're not to blame
It's not your fault.

I'm so sorry for what you've experienced both with him and in the past. I hope you're getting the support you need, but if not it may be worth contacting victim support. AFAIK they support victims regardless of whether the crime is reported to the police.

Take care xx

I am shocked their are people on here that are obviously getting other women saying F*d up things on here to you given the content of your orignal post...don't waste your time responding to them. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone. No child or woman should be SA or raped. The fact people are making light of it is disgusting. Not something a women is ever going to forget. Those crimes are rarely a prison sentance and women who report false reports make it so much harder for any women to beleived. I am not surprised you are triggered by recent events. Just been on dating site years ago and the amount of D*k pics was alarming to me...what are we even meant to say to them, oh what an amazing c*k best one I've seen today! Lol! Don't let anyone think they can make you justify yourself. Your better than that just speaking out :)