Was I wrong to report this?

[Farageneedstoeffoff]

Name changed for this, as absolutely don't want it linked to my regular posts.
Last weekend, a male friend of mine sent me a sexually graphic video (him masturbating to climax) totally out of the blue.
For context, this is a friend of 6 years, 5 of which he has had a girlfriend.
Because of past trauma (including being raped as a child and, separately, as an adult), I totally freaked out over this and reported him to the police (after contacting his girlfriend, then blocking him on everything).
Have I overreacted?

I don’t know what the police can do as it’s adult to adult unless he knew the material would distress you because you had disclosed your traumatic past. Then it could be considered cyber bullying.

It was worth reporting because at the very least, it is pervy behaviour that could escalate even if not technically illegal. It’s good to have a record of these insidious things just in case you do need a non molestation order down the line.

It's a criminal offence under the Sexual Offences Act 2003, s 66(a)

And as of January 8, 2026, cyberflashing—sending unsolicited, sexually explicit images—is a priority offence under the UK's Online Safety Act 2023, making it a criminal offence. Perpetrators face up to two years in prison,

Sorry you've had to experience this, OP. What a very distressing incident and I'm sure triggering of past trauma.
You absolutely 1000% did the right thing. This was a sex crime and sex pests tend to escalate their behaviour over time. I do hope the police take this seriously and nip it in the bud.
Sending a handhold.

Thank you I was unaware of this new law back home in the UK.
It is admirable that it’s now illegal.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Your ex friend is a pig.

You did the right thing, 100%. He committed a serious crime.

And I hope they prosecute him to the full extent of the law.

Take care of yourself. 💐

You did the right thing. This behaviour is a precursor to what he might be capable of in future. You’ve taken steps to protect yourself and others.

He just had to do it..No he didn't!!
Sincerely hope he's convicted
Op you were right to report.

Well done OP, you did the right thing. Disgusted by some of the responses on here - how anyone could find this funny is beyond me. I hope the police have capacity to prioritise this. They are really struggling with caseloads at the moment so things aren’t as speedy as they once were but they will take this seriously and follow it up.
I don’t want to be all ‘not all men’ because sexual violence is very much a male problem, but it really isn’t all men. I hope you have some kind men in your life who wouldn’t dream of doing anything this disgusting.

Not unreasonable given your history op. But WhatsApp have a report button for anything like that too. And they look into it for you. Its disgusting anyway and of the men that did it started being reported then they'd learn not to do it.

He’s an arse. Well done for reporting it.
I hope that you are being supported.

Although your history has a very understandable bearing on the impact of what he is done, I don’t really understand why people are suggesting that it means you were right to report. All women should consider reporting this type of behaviour, no matter what our past experience is. It’s our choice whether to or not but it’s a crime, and we don’t usually consider have to consider our background when we report crimes.

I’m sorry this happened to you OP, it sounds very upsetting but you were right to report. This sort of behaviour is often more about power than anything else, and you’ve sent him a message that it’s unacceptable

Absolutely you did the right thing. Men need to understand that this is a complete violation of a woman’s right to feel safe.

I’m guessing you were supposed to be flattered by the ‘I couldn’t help it, I was thinking about you’ comment? Just when I think men can’t be more revolting, somehow they manage it.

What the fuck is wrong with you? So you'd traumatise another innocent woman, not to mention committing a crime yourself by doing so. Can't believe nobody else has picked up on this. Give your head a wobble

No!! This time you stood up for yourself so please be proud. I am proud of you! Who knows who many women he would have gone on sending it to if it wasn't for you! Thank you for reporting !

Who are the women on this thread who think that men should get away with behaviour like this!?!

OP, you did exactly the right thing. I hope you can get your equilibrium back soon.

A “crappy situation “?? You’re massively downplaying it. Her boyfriend had a wank and sent it to another woman. That’s not a “crappy situation” where you have to have a think about how to get past it. If she stays, then she is an idiot.

OP, you did the right thing.

What this man has done is a criminal offence. It's not 'pervy' or 'inappropriate' or 'crossing a boundary', it is a crime. The law is very clear on this and you have provided evidence, the Police can and should treat this seriously.

Your ex-friend is a sex offender and as such deserves to face the consequences of his offending, and you as his victim deserve justice and protection from further harm. His girlfriend also deserves to know what kind of man she has attached herself to, although what she does with that information is up to her.

It is not an overreaction to feel distressed by someone forcing you to witness them carrying out a sexual act against your will, whether that happens in person or by video. The fact that you've previously experienced sexual abuse is naturally compounding that distress, but you would be entirely reasonable to be upset by this even if you had no history of trauma.

The posts on this thread seeking to excuse or minimise this disgusting behaviour are disappointing, but not surprising, and are thankfully in the minority. It doesn't matter if he was drunk and "mortified" the next day. It doesn't matter whether or not you were previously romantically involved. It doesn't matter if it's a "one off", as if one sexual offence weren't too many! We live in a society where the bar is set depressingly low for men and women have been conditioned to tolerate all manner of abusive and degrading behaviour. Technology-facilitated sexual abuse is also a relatively new form of offending and still widely misunderstood. The only way that will change is if men like this are held to account for their vile behaviour.

😂😂😂😂 you need to find a sense of humour

No. This is how the world will finally change, by not tolerating crap like that from men anymore.

Not all women on here. I'm shocked anyone disagrees.

No one thinks he should get away with it but calling the police is OTT and yes I am a woman.

At last. Somebody said it. And how vile to read on MN - 'I am a woman, I sent sexy pics and sex videos to my partner'. Aye, sick fuck you and sick fuck your partner who enjoys it. Shame those videos and sexy pics don't go to your children/bosses/friends/neighbours by mistake. Sick fucks. The lot of you who do it.
Actually - bigger picture - this is what happens when you start normalised perverts.
Well done for reporting.

Another woman who doesn't recognise sexual abuse when it smacks her in the face?

Wayne Couzens started his criminality as a flasher. Many rapists do.

What happened to just blocking someone.