Was I wrong to report this?

[Farageneedstoeffoff]

Name changed for this, as absolutely don't want it linked to my regular posts.
Last weekend, a male friend of mine sent me a sexually graphic video (him masturbating to climax) totally out of the blue.
For context, this is a friend of 6 years, 5 of which he has had a girlfriend.
Because of past trauma (including being raped as a child and, separately, as an adult), I totally freaked out over this and reported him to the police (after contacting his girlfriend, then blocking him on everything).
Have I overreacted?

There Is no difference between this and flashing. You did the right thing - if his behaviour escalates elsewhere then the police at least have a record.

I mean it is a criminal offence and he then admitted it was intended for you. Thats going to fuck him up big time, and rightly so.

What did his girlfriend say?

I am in the OLD world and amount of men ive called out and blocked for pics within minutes of chatting off the apps is obscene and I am not a prude.

I think you're being unfair to @Farageneedstoeffoff She added the extra detail only half an hour after posting, realising after the first few replies that we didn't know what she knew, that it wasn't a mistake and was deliberately sent to her.

I also don't think it's strange that she asked a friend to come round for moral support and they watched the last few seconds. It must have been a frightening and nasty shock to receive this video, alone. Perhaps hard to believe it actually was happening.

You have definatly not over reacted, infact, credit to you, you were absalutely more than in the right.

What this loser did was offensive, as well as illegal you have already been traumatised in the past and you don't need to be subjected to his offensive actions........I mean its not like you can unsee it.

You can have a chrystal clear conscience, and his is as clear as mud.

You were right to do this.

Imagine being this man and having this degree of entitled arrogance.

These people need to have a massive bite of a reality sandwich because at no point has he contemplated how this might land. He just assumed you would jump at the chance to watch him wank?? Fuckinell, that is some neck on him.

I'm so sorry you he did that to you. Maybe he's done it before to other women, maybe by reporting him you've prevented further assaults. It's well known that sexual offenders often start with exposing themselves and escalate to physical sexual assault. Look at Wayne Couzens.
You've done the right thing.

You did the right thing.

Have you any idea what prompted him to do this all of a sudden? The police will have investigated and could tell you. From what you knew of him, it seemed out of character. We never do really know people though, inside out. However that is not your problem.

I am really sorry you have had this trauma and hope you come to terms with it. Not everyone is a weirdo or a predator.

Come back and let us know how you are getting on.

In fairness about 10 years ago I once received a photo out of the blue of a friend's DH topless in bed and wondered what on earth was going on, until I scrolled up and realised I had somehow accidentally pocket texted a photo of my DH topless in bed to them. 😱

I am not saying in the OP's case this was accidental but it does happen.

(And thank God I pocket texted the photo in question to a friend with a sense of humour and not to my mother or, worse, my DS's school year WhatsApp group, which another mum in the year once accidentally did with a video of her husband coming out of the shower........ 😱😬😂)

Listen, dipshit, I know I shouldn't bite, but Jesus Christ, do you actually have to be such a knob?!
I don't know whether you've actually been raped as a child, or as an adult, but it can really stay with you and affect how you experience things.
So, yes, I had support.
And, if you think that's funny, then more fool you.

You didn't overeact at all, and I'm sorry it happened to you. It's really grim.

I personally wouldn't have reported it, but you were absolutely in the right to do so

Oh fuck off you idiot.

A couple of PPs have asked what the girlfriend said.
She said that clearly he couldn't be trusted, but that she was in love with him and didn't know what to do about him.
She did say that she had spoken to him and he'd admitted it.
She's a victim in this, as she has been with him for 5 years and is a really decent, good natured person.
I feel guilty about having reported this when I never reported the abuse I experienced as a child or younger adult, I guess.

Oh, don't feel guilty, OP! You did what you could, when you could. 💐

He sent sexual material without consent to you. You did the right thing.

So someone who has been a “normal” friend sent this to you? Absolutely right to report it. Especially as he even admitted it wasn’t an accident!!

And you did the right thing telling the girlfriend. You can’t help it though if she’s a bloody idiot oh cause she loves him 🙄

I don't think she's a bloody idiot. I imagine she's just trying to make sense of a crappy situation.

100% this OP. Different times, different people, even you were different to who you were back then ❤

I think you did the right thing op, please don’t beat yourself up. If he flashed at you in public it would be a crime and it wouldn’t matter if he’d been drinking or not - so it doesn’t even matter if he’d was drunk. And if it was a 7 min video, that meant he had at least 7 mins to really think about whether it was a good idea to send it & he still decided to. That’s on him as are any consequences.

Remember that - any punishment or consequences is because of what he has done, not because you reported him. If he hadn’t done it, you would have had nothing to report.

i hope the girlfriend decides to leave him. I feel for her too as she sounds lovely, as do you.

I’m really sorry yet another man has shown you what an arsehole he is.

🤮. Why does any man feel the need to send this sort of thing to anyone?

Absolutely no need to feel guilty because you didn't report the rapes and did report this. Just because you might find this time to be less violating than those awful experiences does not mean it was okay that it happened, or he didn't do wrong.

You are the victim in this - let's not blame you!

Gross. Well done for reporting him, I'm glad you've got support. I hope the police actually do something.

Absolute dirty f*cker! 🤮

I hope he gets put on the dirty f*ckers register!