Was I wrong to report this?

[Farageneedstoeffoff]

Name changed for this, as absolutely don't want it linked to my regular posts.
Last weekend, a male friend of mine sent me a sexually graphic video (him masturbating to climax) totally out of the blue.
For context, this is a friend of 6 years, 5 of which he has had a girlfriend.
Because of past trauma (including being raped as a child and, separately, as an adult), I totally freaked out over this and reported him to the police (after contacting his girlfriend, then blocking him on everything).
Have I overreacted?

What did the police do OP?

you 100% did the RIGHT thing.

what a disgusting sleazeball

I think given this YANBU
I initially assumed it was an accident- I had a female boss when I was at uni, who accidentally sent me a naked photo of herself licking a neon pink dildo.
Everyone was mortified
accidents happen, but he’s evidenced that he is just a bit grim.

Couldn’t help it???

JFHC!

How fucking entitled are these men that they think that they ‘couldn’t help but do it’ is a perfectly reasonable explanation for sending something like that???

No, you weren’t wrong to report him. Hopefully, this is the short, sharp shock he needs to realise his actions have consequences. And hopefully he will pass it on to his friends.

Or, at least, the consequences will be passed on by others.

I’m sorry, I’m still 🤢 at ‘couldn’t help but do it’! Dear god, what did he expect as a response???

So: totally deliberate.

What a gigantic arsehole. I hope he gets what he deserves.

Police took statement over the phone and I have left it with them.
I'm guessing it's pretty low priority, so I imagine I won't hear anything for a while.

Then there you go! How can you be wrong when they aren’t even going to do anything?

This

but given your history your reaction is absolutely understandable - it must have felt terrible to recieve

Well done OP

have since read he meant to do it - pervert

well done you

Was there ever anything between you? A drunken kiss or whatever?
Doesn’t excuse what he did though.
I don’t know if I would have reported but the friendship would be over 100%.
I hope his girlfriend finds out what a creep he is.

That would still be a Massive leap

he must know OPs history - without that it’s still wrong

Didn’t you even read the op. She told his girlfriend

as said, if I received this from any friend, male or female, I’d assume it was sent by mistake if there was no prior and no lead up and they were in a happy relationship. It would be very unusual to randomly do this to a good long standing friend, and more likely he sent to the wrong person.

Good on you OP, I would have sent it on to his mother

Disgusting sack of shit. You did the right thing.

Well, personally I am glad you did. I don't think he sent it to the wrong person, surely someone would triple check before sending that to someone? Hopefully he will never ever do it again to anyone else. Yuck and really big yuck.

Edited to add, sorry, read he knew what he was doing by sending it to you. Am so sorry OP.

I can't imagine what level of drunkenness would make anyone think this was a good idea but then I can imagine why anyone would ever think anyone wanted to see that!!

What the hell goes through some mens' minds???

Good on you for reporting this OP. Whether he "accidentally " sent it or not (I read your update) it is still a crime to send it without consent. So every man who does send these type of photos/videos need to be 100% sure they send it to the right person. Oops isn't a valid defence.

Oh god, I’m sorry I missed that. Then yes you did the right thing.

No you were not wrong to report this, an unsolicited dick pic is a criminal offence and what you received is much much worse. You have (unnecessarily but understandably) clarified it's not a mistake and therefore this was a deliberate action on his part and by allowing it to pass unchallenged you are condoning him committing an illegal sexual offence.

Given the gross misogyny within the police force in pretty much most of the UK do not sit back and allow nothing to happen about this. I'm not saying to insist on castrating him and lock him up for 20yrs but it does need to be taken seriously and he needs to be interviewed under caution and then whatever follows within the boundaries of the law follows.

Don't listen to anyone victim blaming here online or IRL, I'm not being dismissive of your past trauma but it shouldn't matter, its completely unacceptable of him to have done this regardless and in fact even worse because of your past trauma.

You have absolutely done the right thing given it was an intentional act to send you a SEVEN MINUTE VIDEO of him commiting a sex act which was sent unsolicited and unwanted and its time we all as a society, men and women, called this out, reported it and stop minimising a sexual crime.

I'm sorry this has happened to you and I'm sorry you will likely have to deal with victim blaming from people around you

Gross. Although I can imagine him being absolutely mortified the next day.

@Farageneedstoeffoff So sorry this happened to you. You are not being unreasonable filing a complaint- well done ! I can only imagine how betrayed you must feel and how utterly disgusted. 💐

Noooo, nowt like that. I've been single/celibate by choice for 8 years.

No, you shouldn't feel remotely bad.

He fucked around and found out that's sending unsolicited wank vids to a SA survivor is an extremely bad idea.

How bloody dare he.

As I clarified above, he meant to send it to me.