Turning up to church wedding just because you can. Would you?

[EWAB]

Everybody knows that if you are in England (rest of UK?) that anybody can turn up at a church and can’t be turned away, from a wedding or baptism for example.

We know that this is a law from the Middle Ages.

But would you?

On any thread on here re: not being invited to wedding or particularly if children aren’t invited someone always suggests to just turn up at the church.

Would someone really do this?

No. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
Obviously a baptism in a main service is different as there will be lots of people just coming to church. But a wedding - why? You’d have to be very odd.

It's not bizarre. If they are part of the congregation where the child was being christened they would have a completely reasonable expectation to be part of it given that it's so much about welcoming them to the community.

I think it's completely normal in a free church/evangelical church set up for members of the congregation to turn up to the service, if they know the couple. The church usually provide cakes/refreshments afterwards for those who've just come to the service and aren't moving on to the reception, so there's an expectation that people will come along. I see this as perfectly normal. My son's best friend is getting married next year and he's told my son that he's not able to invite me and my husband to the reception, but he'd love us to come to the service if we're able. We won't as it's a long way away, but we would if it was closer!

When a schoolfriend married almost 20 years ago my mother came to the service, as did a mutual friend's mum. My mum also came to another wedding when I was a bridesmaid. It was pretty standard when she was growing up. I might go and sit in the back but it would depend so much on the couple and the context.

We had a homeless lady at our wedding because she used to go into the church for warmth when she could. My aunts were outraged but we were quite happy for her to be there.

It absolutely is bizarre. The child and family do not attend church. Never have, never will. Yet the congregation wanted to stick their noses into another family’s business!

It's really not- the baby is being welcomed into the church community (unless the parents are just doing it for show, in which case it's ridiculous)

Why were they having a christening then? Maybe the congregation were making a valid point!

For schooling purposes. Nobody else’s business besides the family.

My friend’s mum came to our wedding in this way. I was SO pleased. I wasn’t going to be inviting her to the whole wedding and thought it was rude to just invite people to the ceremony and not the party. She was sat at the back and was the first person I saw amongst all my husband’s friends who I barely knew. It was lovely!

Well why bother getting christened? Stupid!

Why would they never see her again?

Doesn't a Christening imply that she's being inducted into the family of that church? I don't get it/

I'm an atheist myself, but why would you have a Christening for a baby who never intends to join the church community? Weird.

We had extended family (DH’s side) who were not invited to any part of the wedding show up at the church which was awkward to say the least! I think they thought we might squeeze them in to the reception, especially as they travelled from another country(!) but there was literally not one spare chair. BIL sorted it all out with them, I didn’t even know until 3 days later when they were at MILs house (they’d hung around!) and we stopped by on the way to the airport

She needed to be christened to attend her local school.

A couple who came to our wedding brought their four kids with them, despite being told quite clearly that the invitation was just for the adults and that it was a child free wedding. Our caterers had to scratch around finding space and food for them. It was quite awkward because other, closer, friends who had kids thought we’d made an exception for these people but not them.

When another guest asked why they’d brought their kids, they just shrugged and said they “wanted to.”

I think it's one thing some older ladies from the congregation turning up to see the bride (my only experience of this - often they'd been involved in setting up their church for the occasion; I'm not saying men can't won't) and quite another thing for someone who knows the couple and is explicitly not invited to show up anyway.

We have a lady sat in a wheelchair at the front of all our wedding pictures. And 20 years later we still have no clue who she was. She was.

That’s even sadder. What’s the point of the christening if she’s never gong to go to church or be part of the congregation.

I really like the idea of the broader community coming along to celebrate christenings and marriages together - it’s really sad that we’ve lost that sense of community, and I don’t think the church bit should be by invitation. There’s a whole bit for people to object, so it’s important that anyone can be there!

Yet the congregation wanted to stick their noses into another family’s business!

Good grief - the arrogance!

It's a church! It's the congregation's church, not yours. Who on earth do you think you are?

I've heard it all now! 😂

Random people or people who knew your mum and wanted to pay their respects?

Of course,this is MN where people talk about inviting people to funerals.

It’s a means to an end. “Community” is just an excuse for nosey people to stick their wick in where it’s not wanted.

We had some uninvited people in the church when we got married, people I vaguely knew like friends parents. I didn't mind at all.

I went to a random wedding uninvited when I was about 7.
I was playing with my friend in the village, and we noticed lots of people arriving at the church, so we followed them in our of curiosity. Next thing we know, there’s a wedding happening. We were only little but we knew we had to stay quiet and not try to leave. So we sat through the whole thing, left when everyone else did, and then carried on playing!
This was the 70s so kids just roamed around in our village without parents.

Well that explains a lot.

Not my kid, not my business.