Turning up to church wedding just because you can. Would you?

[EWAB]

Everybody knows that if you are in England (rest of UK?) that anybody can turn up at a church and can’t be turned away, from a wedding or baptism for example.

We know that this is a law from the Middle Ages.

But would you?

On any thread on here re: not being invited to wedding or particularly if children aren’t invited someone always suggests to just turn up at the church.

Would someone really do this?

A hotel or stately home is no different to a church when it comes to a wedding ceremony.

all licensed venues must permit public to enter during the ceremony as a wedding is a matter of public record and the public must have the opportunity to object. That’s a basic requirement to maintain the integrity of the process.

A funeral, maybe. But only if I knew the deceased and/or was close to someone in the family. Just to pay respects/show support. I’d sit at the back, give my condolences and leave. I wouldn’t go to the wake unless I was asked to.

No because weddings and baptisms are boring ! One of the reasons we kept our wedding short and sweet with very few guests.

One of the differences between a wedding venue and a church, is the size, they tend to be much smaller so no space for the random parishioners or granny's friends to slip in at the back or on the balcony.

Register offices can be the same very small and no space for random.

How does that fit with the law on public event?
Even the Royal weddings those venues are rammed no space for random people who want to enter.

I never knew that.

That’s lovely. I think the principle of having it open to all is great.

It doesn’t matter what fits. The public must be given unhindered access. That is all.

Random people going to watch someone they don’t know getting married is strange .
Neighbours and others who know you but aren’t going to the wedding reception sitting at the back of the church is fine .
I was invited to a friend’s daughter’s wedding ( the whole event ) in my old hometown .
So my parents agreed to look after my children but they came to the church and sat at the back because my youngest wanted to see the bride and my mum knew my friend .
In my mind that is fine

Daftypants This is a scenario I had in mind.

So you had every right to bring your not invited mother and children to a church where a wedding to which you had been invited, was taking place.

This is absolutely indisputable; it’s the law but why did you do it? Your children wanting to see it isn’t a good enough reason.

What did the bride think as she walked down the aisle? Was it a child free wedding? If your children were young enough to need sitting why take them into a space that they hadn’t been invited.

We all know you had a right to do it but why do you think you should have?

My mum is like a dog with a bone when she gets an idea .
She insisted she would sit at the back with 2 primary school aged children who are well behaved.
I would have never heard the end of it if I’d said “ no “
I know the bride well , it wasn’t a child free wedding and she’s a very calm and laid back person .
So in those circumstances I thought that was acceptable

The Bride has no right to deny anyone from entering a church to attend a public event like a wedding.

What is so sad about many of these posts objecting to people attending weddings, is that what they are objecting to is community. They seem to not want to be part of a community, even as they wish to use community resources and benefit from the labour of that community.

I don't think weddings are ever part of a normal service - christenings are, but weddings are separate. People from my village turned up to my (Friday) wedding because they had known my family for years. I didn't mind at all.

Nope, you can have weddings during the normal service. We have one at my church in a few weeks and it is going to be brilliant. It’s not common but it is possible.

Im so glad I married in a reg office where only invited and wanted guests could come.

Borrowerdale

Absolutely correct; the bride had no legal right to deny entry to her wedding. Indisputable.

Daftypants

had the legal right to take not invited family members to her friend’s wedding. Indisputable!

But why? Just because you can, should you?

I would find it intrusive as a bride and as an uninvited person I would worry I would stress the bride out on one of the most important days of her life.

Daftypants, put her mother’s feelings potentially before that of the bride.

Seeing someone you know but who you didn’t invite at your wedding is potentially more concerning as one of the old ones from the congregation.

Yes I might if i knew them and wished them well and it was as the local church. People turned up at my wedding who weren't invited to the do. Same with funerals

I haven't done it but very common in our area in Scotland (small-ish village community) for regular church goers and just neighbours/other people in the community to pop into the church for a fellow villager / acquaintance's weddings even if not invited, or only invited to evening reception, usually sitting at the back or upstairs out of the way - just as it's common for neighbours to come out in the street when bride leaving from home. Very common especially with the older generation and always seen as quite a nice gesture. I remember a few doing it at our wedding and it was lovely.

Why would someone you don't actively have a feud with being there be stressful?

Maybe it's a being used to being in churches thing. I don't expect ever to recognise everyone in church, even at my own wedding. It's quite normal.

In that case, it's even more bizarre that the child's family are having a Christening in a church at all!! Not sure about other churches, but in the Church of Scotland, in the case of infant baptism, the Church expects at least one parent or other close family member either to be a member of the Church or willing to become a member. During the baptismal service those appropriate adults profess their own faith and promise to give the child a Christian upbringing.

No point in having one then, if the child and the family do not attend church, never have, nor ever will!

EDITED to add. The members of the congregation make a public vow to welcome the newly baptized individual into the church family. They promise to support the parents, provide Christian teaching, and be an example of faith, hope, and love. So perfectly natural for some members of a congregation to turn up, even if the Baptism isn't carried out during the service.

Was going to comment the same..that this is very much a thing here in thr Republic of Ireland..you could see anyone in the church ..nobody minds in the slightest either usually x

DappledThings

I imagine a bride walking down the aisle and maybe seeing someone she has invited but sitting next to their not invited partner and children sitting in a pew and thinking whether your guest thinks she could bring these people to the reception, seeing a friend with her kids but also their not invited stepchildren, or children in a church when the reception is child free wondering if they are going to cry and blot out the vows, it would ruin the bride’s moment thinking of the meals they would potentially have to rustle up.

I just think it’s not fair on the bride and groom while acknowledging that these people have a right to protected by law, to be there.

I like to think most people aren't that uptight.

Why would you think they would be thinking about coming to the reception? Wedding and receptions are different things. It is a bit like going to church on a Sunday and being worried that the congregation are going to all invite themselves to your house for sunday
lunch - it doesn’t happen.

Also when I walked down the aisle I only had eyes for the groom. I was delighted to see a whole crowd from the local community but I certainly didn’t notice them on the way in!

But, even if a bride walking down the aisle noticed them, why do you think she would be thinking that ?

Going to the Church to watch / join in the ceremony has got nothing to do with the Reception. No-one would be expecting to go to the Reception, just because they wanted to watch the couple get married.