Turning up to church wedding just because you can. Would you?

[EWAB]

Everybody knows that if you are in England (rest of UK?) that anybody can turn up at a church and can’t be turned away, from a wedding or baptism for example.

We know that this is a law from the Middle Ages.

But would you?

On any thread on here re: not being invited to wedding or particularly if children aren’t invited someone always suggests to just turn up at the church.

Would someone really do this?

Lol. I think your family are deluding themselves about it being a one-off activity.
That’s not how religious schools work. 😉

They’ll soon discover that if the school requires the pupil to be christened before being offered a place, regular church attendance by the immediate family will be required throughout the primary school years.

If they don’t appear to involve themselves adequately it will be obvious as their child won’t get picked for any teams, special events, fun tasks etc. and their child will get treated differently by the staff as well as the families of the other pupils. It will be relatively subtle but the kid will know!!

The point.

You.

My ex came to my wedding uninvited and sat at the back of the church. I only found out when we walked back down the aisle and he stepped forward to shake my husband's hand. I didn't mind, but it was a bit odd. It could have been him but he blew it when, after 4 years together, he cheated on me, shattered my heart and destroyed my faith in men.

Probably half the people at my wedding hadn’t a clue who the other half were.

We had several people turn up to our wedding that weren’t specifically invited. I thought it was lovely. We invited them to the reception afterwards.

I’m pretty sure anybody can turn up to any wedding, at least in England. It doesn’t have to be a church wedding. Allowing the public unhindered access is one of the conditions of the venue licence.

Exactly. And why would you christen a baby into a religion you had no intention of bringing the child up in?

Unless I've got this wrong, it sounds like an insta opportunity?

No I wouldn't if I was not invited. I am at the stage though where I hope I am not invited to weddings.

I do know of weddings that were meant to be childfree and someone turning up with their kids just to see the Bride's dress, flowers etc.

You think helping people out is old fashioned? This is why so many people find parenting so stressful and complain there is no support.

I am an atheist and I agree. A church is not an exclusive party venue,it's a community. Church members belonging to this community would probably be delighted to see a new family joining them. What a disappointment it must be for them to realise it was just to get into a school!

I'm not that keen on going to weddings I'm invited to, let alone those I'm not!

Well this is exactly what my village is like, right here right now in 2026. That’s one (of the many) reasons I love it.

Members of the congregation attending is normal and fine because, some protestations in this thread notwithstanding, church services aren't private. But I suspect most people would think you shouldn't go in order to confront someone, or be a dick. So random friend of the family or parishioner being there is fine, person seeking to make a point about not being invited is best avoided.

When i married many decades ago many neighbours, customers and acquaintance's that were not invited to the wedding came to the church. Perfectly normal behaviour.

I don’t know how that would work with registry office weddings (or indeed at private venues). There is usually a capacity limit. We had to stand outside at one registry office wedding we were invited to because there was a capacity limit of 30 and we were not immediate family.

I’ve been to three weddings that I’ve not been an official guest at. Two that I declined out of politeness (my estranged violent brother would absolutely have caused a problem at) and one that I wasn’t invited to for the same reason.
the church was here I grew up is one where you can easily slip in and sit at the back and then leave unnoticed. Meant I saw my nieces/nephew get married but with none of the hassle of my brother.

It’s also very common in our village for locals to go to weddings. Sometimes it’ll even be mentioned in groups at the church (toddlers, knit and natter etc) that there’s a wedding in a specific date and that tends to be when a couple are worried the church might feel mega empty if they’re got a small family (or in one recent case no family attending).
It has an amusing effect in that several of MILs friends are very very au fait in what is the current trend of bridesmaids dresses/wedding party size/children attending or not 😂 A couple of people I know planning weddings have asked them a few questions 😂

When my three sisters and I were bridesmaids for my Aunt (mum's sister) my paternal grandmother came to the church service and just sat in the backrow as she wanted to see us dressed as bridesmaids.

It was no fuss or drama, and seemed perfectly normal. She congratulated the couple and left right after.

You sound angry - maybe don't invest too much energy & emotion in this thread?

At those anyone turning up wishing to object would have to be given access to the registrar or celebrant to make their objection.

All of my children were Christened at a private church service on a Sunday afternoon.

Yes, I've done it.
I was taken to a wedding of some very distant relative by my dgm as a small child so she could show me what a bridesmaid does. We sat in the gallery.

When I was an adult bridesmaid some local women who were at school with the bride and me came out to see her go into the church. They were of course invited to come in. I can't remember how many of them did.

We have a licensed wedding venue in the family. The public has to be given access. Signs have to be put up to direct people to where the ceremony is taking place. Like I said, it is a condition of the licence.

You don’t need to provide chairs for them to sit on.

What's bizarre is having a Christening at all in those circumsrances. I'll put money on you having misunderstood and in fact it being part of a regualr setvice, as they always are.

And once again, just because it is at a different time does not make it private. You cannot prevent anyone attending a service in a parish church.

And, frankly, I think vicars ought not to do christenings in this way at all. It makes a mockery of a service which is precisely about welcoming someone into the church, to do it without most of the church present.

So what? The poster is still correct that christenings often/usually happen during the normal service.

My in-laws' neighbours came to the church at our wedding as they vaguely knew us and also grew flowers to match the wedding colours along the little road outside their house leading up to in-laws' place where we had drinks and canapés after the ceremony. They also helped serve the drinks and food - so we had a high court judge serving canapes 😆It was very much a community affair and so lovely of them to help their friends and neighbours.

If you had been specifically told you were not welcome, rather than not being specifically invited then no. If they just didn't want a huge number at the reception afterwards and didn't send formal invites to those not going to the reception why not go to the church? Often neighbours or the parents neighbours, extended family and friends used to go, I guess going to church generally was more common then as well. A marriage was meant to be a public commitment in front of God and whole communities would attend to see it happen.