Page 20 | Turning up to church wedding just because you can. Would you?

EWAB · 2026-05-14T12:09:22+00:00

Everybody knows that if you are in England (rest of UK?) that anybody can turn up at a church and can’t be turned away, from a wedding or baptism for example. We know that this is a law from the Middle Ages. But would you? On any thread on here re: not being invited to wedding or particularly if children aren’t invited someone always suggests to just turn up at the church. Would someone really do this?

UraniumFlowerpot · 17/05/2026 16:34

A bride is just a person and a wedding day is, in the end, just one day.

Someone turning up at the dinner and needing an extra meal is awkward, yes, but still not actually that bad. It happened to me. Traveled a long way so I really couldn’t send them packing. The hotel hosting us found space and meals, sorted. Took all of 5 minutes to figure out. Obviously I wouldn’t advocate for turning up at a wedding reception uninvited but just to point out it’s not the end of the world if someone does.

An extra few people at the wedding ceremony just shouldn’t ruin the bride’s day, that says more about her character than it does about the extra people who turned up. Chill out and focus on what’s important.

The only time I’d say it’s really unacceptable to go to a public wedding is if you know you’re particularly unwelcome or go there with the intention of causing trouble and distress. An ex partner, for example.

ReallyOtter · 17/05/2026 16:39

EWAB · 17/05/2026 15:14

DappledThings

I imagine a bride walking down the aisle and maybe seeing someone she has invited but sitting next to their not invited partner and children sitting in a pew and thinking whether your guest thinks she could bring these people to the reception, seeing a friend with her kids but also their not invited stepchildren, or children in a church when the reception is child free wondering if they are going to cry and blot out the vows, it would ruin the bride’s moment thinking of the meals they would potentially have to rustle up.

I just think it’s not fair on the bride and groom while acknowledging that these people have a right to protected by law, to be there.

Tell her to keep her eyes on the Cross.
It is His house.

ReallyOtter · 17/05/2026 16:41

People do not seem to understand how church works and that a church is a place of worship.

330ml · 17/05/2026 17:40

Itsanewdawnitsanewdayitsanewlife4me · 17/05/2026 14:42

Im so glad I married in a reg office where only invited and wanted guests could come.

Same rules in a registry office as in a church. Absolutely anyone can attend, if they want to.

In practice that’s only likely to happen if they have an objection.

Itsanewdawnitsanewdayitsanewlife4me · 17/05/2026 17:52

@330ml what I wouldnt have given in hindsight for someone, anyone to object!

Sunburstclocklover · 18/05/2026 14:59

IveFoundOldBear · 17/05/2026 14:53

I haven't done it but very common in our area in Scotland (small-ish village community) for regular church goers and just neighbours/other people in the community to pop into the church for a fellow villager / acquaintance's weddings even if not invited, or only invited to evening reception, usually sitting at the back or upstairs out of the way - just as it's common for neighbours to come out in the street when bride leaving from home. Very common especially with the older generation and always seen as quite a nice gesture. I remember a few doing it at our wedding and it was lovely.

Edited

Happy memories of the "pour (poor)oot"! All standing in the street to wave the bride off and get ready for the scatter! Outside any of the 4 local churches for the same. In the 60s sometimes 5 or 6 weddings a day on a Saturday if we were lucky. Supplemented my pocket money lol!

Needspaceforlego · 19/05/2026 07:57

EWAB · 17/05/2026 15:14

DappledThings

I imagine a bride walking down the aisle and maybe seeing someone she has invited but sitting next to their not invited partner and children sitting in a pew and thinking whether your guest thinks she could bring these people to the reception, seeing a friend with her kids but also their not invited stepchildren, or children in a church when the reception is child free wondering if they are going to cry and blot out the vows, it would ruin the bride’s moment thinking of the meals they would potentially have to rustle up.

I just think it’s not fair on the bride and groom while acknowledging that these people have a right to protected by law, to be there.

A bit weird of a bride to invite someone without their partner.

However the few weddings I've done the back of the church thing have been acquaintances rather than complete strangers, a friend of my sisters, a friend of my Auntie (actually I was a child when I did that), those sorts of loose acquaintances people you know but not close enough to be invited to the wedding.

snoopyfanaccountant · 28/05/2026 17:58

Hippee · 17/05/2026 14:22

I don't think weddings are ever part of a normal service - christenings are, but weddings are separate. People from my village turned up to my (Friday) wedding because they had known my family for years. I didn't mind at all.

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A church I went to had a wedding as part of Sunday worship once. The couple were both older and didn't have much in the way of family so they wanted to celebrate it with their church family. They organised a lunch in the church hall after the service and invited the congregation to join them.

McBirdwatcher · 28/05/2026 18:39

I remember when I was about 7 going to sit at the back of my teacher's wedding in a nearby parish church, along with my mum and dad. Must've gone along the school gate jungle drums (or the early 90s telephone tree!) as there were quite a few of us, and my friend from the year above who'd had that teacher the year before was there too. I remember we had a photo of all us kids and our teacher. It was really exciting and clearly memorable!

ChristinaXYZ · 28/05/2026 18:47

When we got married in church there were a quite few people who turned up but they were neighbours, friends of my grandparents, parents of my school friends, other people I knew just to smile at over the years in the locale. Some were outside the house when I came out in my dress and cheered. I thought it was rather nice. They were just wishing us well. But then they were not protesting at not being invited as none of them would have thought they would be. I think it is ok for neighbours, parents of friends etc to pop in and of course the congregation, but I think it would be quite rude if you knew you must be near the cut off line for an invitation and turn up. Cousins you see less often or a collesgure from another depratment at your work, that sort of person. If you might have been invited and then go anyway it looks like a criticism of the couple.

maxslice · 28/05/2026 21:09

If you get married in the Catholic Church, it’s also basically a Mass. As long as people are respectful and there is room, there is no reason to deny community members to attend.

Whyhaveibeencutoutofmamsnot · 28/05/2026 23:12

At our Catholic church some of the regulars turn up if it is to be a mass. They will have often known one of the couple for a while and may help with the service and will tidy up/sort out lost items afterwards