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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Turning up to church wedding just because you can. Would you?

482 replies

EWAB · 14/05/2026 13:09

Everybody knows that if you are in England (rest of UK?) that anybody can turn up at a church and can’t be turned away, from a wedding or baptism for example.

We know that this is a law from the Middle Ages.

But would you?

On any thread on here re: not being invited to wedding or particularly if children aren’t invited someone always suggests to just turn up at the church.

Would someone really do this?

OP posts:
UraniumFlowerpot · 17/05/2026 16:34

A bride is just a person and a wedding day is, in the end, just one day.

Someone turning up at the dinner and needing an extra meal is awkward, yes, but still not actually that bad. It happened to me. Traveled a long way so I really couldn’t send them packing. The hotel hosting us found space and meals, sorted. Took all of 5 minutes to figure out. Obviously I wouldn’t advocate for turning up at a wedding reception uninvited but just to point out it’s not the end of the world if someone does.

An extra few people at the wedding ceremony just shouldn’t ruin the bride’s day, that says more about her character than it does about the extra people who turned up. Chill out and focus on what’s important.

The only time I’d say it’s really unacceptable to go to a public wedding is if you know you’re particularly unwelcome or go there with the intention of causing trouble and distress. An ex partner, for example.

ReallyOtter · 17/05/2026 16:39

EWAB · 17/05/2026 15:14

DappledThings

I imagine a bride walking down the aisle and maybe seeing someone she has invited but sitting next to their not invited partner and children sitting in a pew and thinking whether your guest thinks she could bring these people to the reception, seeing a friend with her kids but also their not invited stepchildren, or children in a church when the reception is child free wondering if they are going to cry and blot out the vows, it would ruin the bride’s moment thinking of the meals they would potentially have to rustle up.

I just think it’s not fair on the bride and groom while acknowledging that these people have a right to protected by law, to be there.

Tell her to keep her eyes on the Cross.
It is His house.

ReallyOtter · 17/05/2026 16:41

People do not seem to understand how church works and that a church is a place of worship.

330ml · 17/05/2026 17:40

Itsanewdawnitsanewdayitsanewlife4me · 17/05/2026 14:42

Im so glad I married in a reg office where only invited and wanted guests could come.

Same rules in a registry office as in a church. Absolutely anyone can attend, if they want to.

In practice that’s only likely to happen if they have an objection.

Itsanewdawnitsanewdayitsanewlife4me · 17/05/2026 17:52

@330ml what I wouldnt have given in hindsight for someone, anyone to object!

Sunburstclocklover · 18/05/2026 14:59

IveFoundOldBear · 17/05/2026 14:53

I haven't done it but very common in our area in Scotland (small-ish village community) for regular church goers and just neighbours/other people in the community to pop into the church for a fellow villager / acquaintance's weddings even if not invited, or only invited to evening reception, usually sitting at the back or upstairs out of the way - just as it's common for neighbours to come out in the street when bride leaving from home. Very common especially with the older generation and always seen as quite a nice gesture. I remember a few doing it at our wedding and it was lovely.

Edited

Happy memories of the "pour (poor)oot"! All standing in the street to wave the bride off and get ready for the scatter! Outside any of the 4 local churches for the same. In the 60s sometimes 5 or 6 weddings a day on a Saturday if we were lucky. Supplemented my pocket money lol!

Needspaceforlego · 19/05/2026 07:57

EWAB · 17/05/2026 15:14

DappledThings

I imagine a bride walking down the aisle and maybe seeing someone she has invited but sitting next to their not invited partner and children sitting in a pew and thinking whether your guest thinks she could bring these people to the reception, seeing a friend with her kids but also their not invited stepchildren, or children in a church when the reception is child free wondering if they are going to cry and blot out the vows, it would ruin the bride’s moment thinking of the meals they would potentially have to rustle up.

I just think it’s not fair on the bride and groom while acknowledging that these people have a right to protected by law, to be there.

A bit weird of a bride to invite someone without their partner.

However the few weddings I've done the back of the church thing have been acquaintances rather than complete strangers, a friend of my sisters, a friend of my Auntie (actually I was a child when I did that), those sorts of loose acquaintances people you know but not close enough to be invited to the wedding.

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