Turning up to church wedding just because you can. Would you?

[EWAB]

Everybody knows that if you are in England (rest of UK?) that anybody can turn up at a church and can’t be turned away, from a wedding or baptism for example.

We know that this is a law from the Middle Ages.

But would you?

On any thread on here re: not being invited to wedding or particularly if children aren’t invited someone always suggests to just turn up at the church.

Would someone really do this?

I love the tradition that well-wishers can attend and it's a wonderful atmosphere, and I don't think that should change. But it's beyond inconsiderate if someone's presence is known to be unwelcome (estranged etc), but they show up anyway. My son got married recently and lots of people we and he knew came. We had tea/coffee afterwards and the invited guests went on to the wedding reception.

I have, it was in my church and knew the bride and groom well but they were limited on numbers for reception. I sneaked in at back and sneaked out but was spotted and given a big hug.

They are. Although I've heard of funeral invitations, in my nearly 70 years on this planet, I've never seen one. Generally, the details are announced, sometimes in a local paper or its website, a church (if the deceased was a member or having a service there) or in one place I know, the undertakers announce the details on social media. Anyone who wants to turns up at the appointed time and usually the attendees are invited to a reception afterwards where there is an opportunity to express condolences to the bereaved.

When we got married (in a church) several of mine and DH colleagues turned up to see us getting married even though they were only invited to the evening do. We thought it was lovely of them, going out of their way.
Obviously going out of spite is a different kettle of fish!

If I could I'd go to see a colleague getting married. But so few people are opting for Church weddings, so many are in Wedding venue hotels.The wedding industry is big business.

Maybe thats partly why I'm finding something so so sweet and heartwarming about @Sartre Granny and friends do the Chuppah and flowers in the synagogue.
Shes made me smile all day thinking about it ☺️

Its not just going to the florist down the road to do the flowers and paying a fortune, its a very personal touch, from some women who WANT to do something really nice and special for the next generation.

And I guess its a tradition the older ladies, did it for them when they were the young brides getting ready for married life and so the cycle goes on.

Maybe part of it is the community spirit that I sort of lack not being part of Church. I kind of wish the regular Sunday service was a bit more upbeat

Why on earth would you want to?

A whole thread and you still haven’t understood why people would want to do this?

Didn't read it 🤭
But the church bit is boring isnt it? Why inflict it upon yourself unless you have to

Different times people were respectful,a Wedding wasn't akin to a stage production.
I don't remember it but I do remember neighbours coming out to see the bride and father off.and us kids there for the scramble.
70s NE Scotland.

Erm that boring bit is the heart of a wedding
Then celebrate afterwards

Yes, im not a wedding person im afraid. Mean no disrespect.

No offence taken fellow late night MNetter.😁🙋

No because to mw an invite is just that if thry wanted everyone to turn up they would stick a notice in the paper

People's sense of entitlement these days is not really surprising

I’ve been married for over 40 years. I am also a person of faith. Of course I know what a church ceremony MEANS. However, it’s still likely to be a production of sorts. Elaborate costumes, music, a carefully curated setting, blocking and choreography, the participants have to learn their lines. There
is even a REHEARSAL the night before. Those aspects don’t make the wedding and marriage any less sacred. Indeed, they are specifically designed to highlight and honor the event. I said “theatre” not “music hall”. I stand by my statement. And I think you really need to lighten up and save your judgement for cakes at the fete.

I wouldn't turn up somewhere I wasn't wanted. But if I wasn't invited to the reception because of numbers and the bride and groom would be happy to see me and, of course, if I genuinely wanted to celebrate their marriage with them, then yes, I'd go to the church. When I was a teen, a friend of mine got married very young, her mum paid for a small wedding and invited two friends (me and another) along with 48 of her and the groom's parents' friends and family. She really wanted her friends there but couldn't invite them and didn't think she coud ask them just to come to the church, but I arranged for them all to be there to watch her actually get married, to see and throw confetti, and celebrate , she was made up.

I wouldn't go to the church if I wasn't wanted. But people have constraints on the people they can invite to a reception for all sorts of reasons, so I would be happy to use the church to celebrate a wedding with someone I like if they were happy for me to use it too.

I have done and popped to the wedding in my lunch hour once. It was lovely. You there to witness the marriage of the two people, and to support this, and not go to some staged production.

It’s not an entitlement to go to a church wedding. It’s a public place and you’re there to show your support and blessings to the couple. You don’t need an invite.

Yes, in Fife we called that a 'scoor-oot' rather than a scramble.

At my wedding there were people who remembered me from when I was a child.

It was nice that they had made the effort to attend.

You said one of the sacraments was just theatre. Maybe you need to learn to back down more graciously.

Some people go to church voluntarily every week of their lives you know. Not everyone finds it boring.

I might go, and stand outside to see the wedding party go in or out. But I wouldn.t enter the church. Supposing there's only room for the invitees? And would you sit on the bride or groom's side?

Agree - neighbours and acquaintances often watch weddings from the back of the church in Ireland

The 'Church ladies' (though one was a man in my last Church) doing the flowers for the wedding is very normal in Church communities.
A bit different if you are one of those Churches that regularly have weddings of people that are nothing to do with the Church community, but when you belong to a Church that isn't photogenic, a wedding is a big event, and the flower arrangers, on the whole LOVE to be able to use their talents. When it is the wedding of someone they have watched grow up, it makes it extra special.

Re Sunday services, there are lots of different styles of Worship. It might be worth you trying a few different Churches and see if there is one that fits withwhat you enjoy.

I've been to about 25 weddings and never seen this bride or groom's side business outside of TV. Mostly we are friends with both the couple anyway so how do you choose?