Turning up to church wedding just because you can. Would you?

[EWAB]

Everybody knows that if you are in England (rest of UK?) that anybody can turn up at a church and can’t be turned away, from a wedding or baptism for example.

We know that this is a law from the Middle Ages.

But would you?

On any thread on here re: not being invited to wedding or particularly if children aren’t invited someone always suggests to just turn up at the church.

Would someone really do this?

Who has time for that?

Time for what?

Do you mean who makes time to share one of the biggest moments in a friend's life ?
Me. I do. It is something I would prioritise.

You would have same side dilemma if you know both the bride and the groom equally well. When asked you just say “Both” and sit where directed.

Who has the time to go to random churches to weddings and baptisms you’ve not been invited to?

of course go to your friends’ weddings

did I misread the op? 🤔

I doubt many people go to random churches.

In the case of baptisms there is a good chance you will be in a specific church already.

You sit at the back. On whichever side looks most empty.
Unless its a tiny church few weddings would fill a church.

I've just remember at a funeral i was at recently I heard the undertaker say to the family that they couldn't stop someone attending but could stop them approaching the family. Presumably any problems and they would phone the police.

I don't think the fact that a funeral is happening has to be advertised either, it's not like banns reading.

It's not an issue for most people. I wouldn't go because I'm not a church member and I'm not interested in other people's weddings.

But the issue on this thread is about the fact that churches are public buildings and are first and foremost religious buildings at the centre of a community, and it's perfectly normal/reasonable/benign/traditional for some people who are part of that church's community to attend weddings held there.

Christenings are often part of the usual service anyway.

Some people on the thread have been surprised to learn that you can't book a church exclusively like other wedding venues, and have objected to the presence of members of the normal congregation at 'their private' events.

They are mistaken!

Having read the thread with interest, I hope clergy are clear in telling prospective couples who are not churchgoers, or who are unfamiliar with religious tradition, that churches are public buildlings and that they cannot book and exclusive event in the way you can at a hotel or stately home?

It may be obvious to many of us, but having seen some of the pps on here - it clearly needs spelling out to the Insta Brigade!!

Exactly a Church is much more to some in a community than a backdrop for a wedding booked by couples for their fairytale/perfect day and don't go to church in any capacity

I wouldn’t do it, no. I don’t find weddings sufficiently interesting to want to gatecrash one. But when I was growing up,I was an occasional churchgoer with my mum and the older ladies of the congregation loved a wedding; they turned up at most of them, whether they knew the B&G or not.

having seen some of the pps on here - it clearly needs spelling out to the Insta Brigade!!

Could have some great fun, all those dress code ‘black and white clothing only’ weddings - and ‘we’ turn up in red!😂

You’re joining in the celebration of love and lifetime commitment. As long as you’re not intrusive, if it’s at a church, the people wishing them well act as witnesses and support in the wider community. It’s no more poking their nose in someone’s business than wishing them a Happy Christmas. You don’t go to the party, you’re just wishing them joy.

You completely and willfully misunderstood. I am not backing down because you have a self-righteous stick up your butt. Be well, my sister in Christ, but trouble me no further.

If a baptism, first communion, confirmation, wedding, or funeral happens as part of the normal Mass, of course Mass-goers will be there. We are one in the Lord's body and invited to His supper. The Mass liturgy asks us to pray for each other right then and there (Roman Catholic.)

If you are travelling or on holiday and are practising R.C., you will seek out Mass on feast days and holy days of obligation and once a week, or at least some of the time. I can't count how many random churches I've attended.

You do realise that the idea of a Christening is to welcome the child into the family of the Church?

Yes, I think they might. If disgruntled, they might see it as an opportunity for a quiet sign of reconciliation. If extra children, they might just be moving as an automatic unit. In my experience, families also may not know who has been distanced or might be unwelcome, and people with their own idea or no idea of boundaries will turn up .

Where was the Christening held? If in a church, it’s not private. Quite often christenings are held during normal services.

Christ is the head of the church.
We are His friends.
We cannot take His house over and alienate His family from it.
A church is not just a pretty building. It is the Lord's house and He is pretty keen on love and sharing.

I had a few people at the back of our wedding mass.

some parents of my friends - we’re the parents were only invited in the night time, members of my church (I go to mass weekly) a couple of my mums friends who again were invited to the night but not the wedding breakfast; it felt nice the church was full.

I wouldn’t however take my kids to wedding service if I had specifically been told no kids

People are not entitled to treat a church as a private venue.

That is the entitlement.

They are making vows before the Lord and His family.

I don’t think all the guests would know each other.

Lots of people met for the first time at my wedding. Not a church wedding though.

True. I have been to lots of weddings where I knew very few other people. I didn't even know all the people at my own wedding as some of them were friends and relatives of DH that I'd not met before and the same was true for him.
We got married in a Church next to a convent and quite a few of the nuns came through to the service. They'd done the Church flowers for us and I thought it was lovely that they wanted to be part of the service, and they definitely improved the singing. There might have been other people from the parish who came too, I can't really remember, but if there were it certainly wasn't a problem or in any way disruptive.

And I hardly knew anyone at my parents' funerals besides our immediate family. I'd lived in a different part of the country for a long time so I had no idea who most of their friends were. There were lots of people in the Church on both occasions but whether they were people who had close friendships with my parents or members of the congregation who didn't know them that well I neither knew nor really cared. I just thought it was nice that people cared enough to show up.