Partner’s son’s wedding no invite

[heidi696]

So my partner of about 6 months - his son is getting married in about a months time but he told me I’m not invited. Im thinking it’s because we are only “new” ? I mean it hasn’t really bothered me but he wants me to go with him to pick out a new suit and I’m hearing about it nearly every day obviously my partner is excited and I was thinking it would be nice to get dressed up and be included- even if they didn’t want me in family photos which I would understand of course. Is this normal - not to be invited.

Surely the cost depends on venue, some are £50ph just for the evening part and some are more than that

Not all. Certainly not where I live. Some places would do a fee for a certain amount of guests and then charge more per head if anyone else was added on later

Why though? OP barely knows the son; she’s only met him a few times. So she’s hardly likely to be listening to “daily wedding chat” between her partner and his son. In any case, how often does her partner talk to OP about it anyway? In my experience, men don’t even talk about their own weddings that much, never mind someone else’s.

Again, just because some places you know don’t charge extra, it doesn’t mean this is universal.

Never said it was. Just saying that in some places it's possible to have an evening buffet for 8-18 quid a head without "aunties" doing the sandwiches in a village hall

It may be numbers/cost, or it may be that the son doesn’t know the OP well enough.

I guess it doesn’t matter though as she’s not been invited so whether it will cost them £50 or nothing, the DS has chosen not to invite someone who has only been with his dad for five minutes.

There will only be awkwardness if the OP chooses to make it awkward. That’s why I’m saying I think her updated approach is sensible - certainly more sensible than some of the advice she’s been given.

Let’s say OP and her partner do get more serious, maybe get married themselves, and she’s still part of the son’s life 20 years later. She can either hold a grudge that, six months in, she wasn’t invited to the wedding, or she can remember that he didn’t know her that well at the time. If she even gives it a moment’s thought in the future.

6 months not five minutes

That’s the beauty of the internet isn’t it - you’re going to come across people who live and think differently than you. What you do with that knowledge is your problem.

Are you in the habit of taking everything literally and arguing about it? Must be exhausting 🤣

As exhausting as you running around telling other people they are wrong I'm sure.

Why would you want to go?, let him enjoy his son's wedding, he'll be busy catching up with guests and making sure everything's going smoothly.
Where and who would you sit with etc?,
would you not think it would be awkward to be introduced to family at a son's or daughter's wedding.

Nah that’s not exhausting at all 🤣

I’m afraid my guess is that the OP’s partner (boyfriend/girlfriend sounds ridiculous for people out of their teens/early twenties) does not want her there, for whatever reason.

You said yourself your sisters boyfriend ended up in photos and they split after. They might think that’s the case with you - or it might be they have planned it with a budget and want their nearest and dearest. You’re still a stranger to them at this point. I’d get them a nice champagne and a card to wish them well as they may be worried about offending you. This would def smooth it over!

A lot of people subscribe to the rule "no ring, no bring" for partners! So I don't think this is unusual

Not sure how you are able to call it abnormal. YOU literally invite everyone you know , plenty of people don’t see they as normal (or cheap!). Plus OP is not family.

Because he obviously has more social skills than the average mumsnetter 🤣

I’ve never heard that expression before, this is the twenty-first century, FGS, how ridiculous! The majority of couples cohabiting are unmarried, you do realise?

Nonsense, he’s clearly got the empathy and social skills of a cricket bat.

Yeah because it’s his son’s wedding and of course the most important thing is whether his girlfriend of five minutes attends.

People with social skills don’t try to invite themselves or others to someone else’s wedding.

And where is the empathy required? They are grown adults and I am sure the OP can entertain herself on the day.

I presume you would approach a B&G and try to interfere with the guest list?

Personally, according to my social values, I believe it would be outstandingly rude not to invite the partner of my parent to my wedding.

I'm not sure why you had to get personal then.

Neither have I