Partner’s son’s wedding no invite

[heidi696]

So my partner of about 6 months - his son is getting married in about a months time but he told me I’m not invited. Im thinking it’s because we are only “new” ? I mean it hasn’t really bothered me but he wants me to go with him to pick out a new suit and I’m hearing about it nearly every day obviously my partner is excited and I was thinking it would be nice to get dressed up and be included- even if they didn’t want me in family photos which I would understand of course. Is this normal - not to be invited.

Some people might want or need to get married for legal reasons. Like if they find out a partner is terminally ill for example - not everyone will find the vows unimportant I'm sure. Just that not everyone will place the feeling on them that you and others might do

I've known more than one person get married after having slept with someone else on the run up to the wedding. I'm not sure how some people could take their vows with a straight face tbh

Hmmm id probably be a bit upset at not being invited to evening? But partner i always think living together. Bf/gf is living apart. Which is it?

The OP has had some quite unkind and dismissive responses in my view

Personally, I would invite my parents partners after a chat with them to see if that’s why they wanted - but I’m a more the merrier type and I don’t sit on traditions.

It is normal that you haven’t been invited though and I know it feels awful. If you feel a certain way about it you’ll have to realistically keep it to yourself and not damper your partners excitement. Doesn’t mean you have to engage with suit buying or anything else.

I’m sorry you’ve been left out. I hope you treat yourself to a nice activity in the day of your keep your mind off it.

Because after six months someone isn’t your partner. They are your boyfriend/girlfriend. And why would the B&G shell out for the OP

How are so many people getting the suit thing wrong?!

The OP is actually one of the most sensible posters on the thread. She took feedback on board and is getting why she didn’t get an invitation.

Surely ‘the more the merrier’ doesn’t work for something like weddings when each guest is costing money.

And I’m sorry but suggesting a nice day out on the wedding day is a suggestion made to posters when their small children have been left out of something 🤣

She could be a stranger to the son and his girlfriend.

I don't agree at all. I think it's the decent thing to do to ask a parents partner to a wedding. Particularly if they are going to be together going forward - but now theres going to be awkwardness

Inviting the OP would have been the decent thing to do in my view

Six months isn’t long enough to have decided whether they are looking for long term. So it’s a potential waste of money

Of course it is. How much more money do you think it costs to add a plus one at an evening text? A few more sandwiches? What else?

How do you know they’re even having extra guests in the evening? Not everyone does.

I can’t see where they said it was evening only. Even if it was, presumably the OP’s boyfriend will be with his son and family on the day. And inviting the Op may mean they can’t invite another friend,

Only on MN do people think they (or their children) have an absolute right to be invited to weddings 🤣

They haven't. But there was some discussion on whether an evening invite would have been appropriate. I personally don't think I have the right to be at a wedding - I went to three of my close friends weddings in my 20s. Two for the full day and one evening

I have also declined to bring a plus one on all three of those occasions even when I was offered. I just think that it would be decent of the OPs son to invite the dad's partner in the evening if they don't want her there during the day

I think it's quite normal to wonder if you would or wouldn't get an invite - particularly when you are having to listen to wedding talk daily and you haven't been invited yourself

I've never personally been to a wedding that hasn't invited other people for the evening. How do you know they aren't?

What exactly does it matter who is in group shots at a wedding.

Seriously, the only photos on our wall or social media from our wedsing are Me and dh and our bridesmaids. Some of immediate family.

We had a big album of photos and rareky look at it!

My cousin is no longer with his partner. That means I have a random woman in the photo that i never look at!

If you and your partner (he's not your boyfriend unless he is like 18!) are still together in 10 years I expect it'd all look normal but in 10 years (10 months) who will be looking at all those photos?

I don’t. But neither do you. Which is kind of the point. There’s no point in speculating about an evening do we don’t even know is happening.

I don’t get why people give this headspace. You can’t do anything about not being invited

Perhaps there is inadequate space, or perhaps the B&G want to invite someone else to fill the place.

But it’s not exactly a committed relationship so it’s no unreasonable for them to not invite her

HoppityBun

"The partner’s son is getting married
The partner has asked the OP to look at suits with him, which sounds rather charming to me. He values her opinion and wants her company when he decides."

Oh I misread that. I thought the son had asked OP to look at suits not her partner! That does make more sense. But either way, although i do understand her not being invited i do think it is a shane.

I think it's quite normal to wonder if you would or wouldn't get an invite - particularly when you are having to listen to wedding talk daily and you haven't been invited yourself

I don’t see that it’s any different to listening to a friend talk about their child’s wedding.

It's very different for your partner and family talking about it than a friend talking about it.

If they’re having the reception in the village hall and aunties are doing the catering, then maybe it’s “a few more sandwiches”. Most professional venues charge per head for the evening do.

I think OP was hoping for some support for asking her bf to take her to the wedding but then realized that this planning started before she was on the scene, she barely knows the groom and bride to be, and their relationship hasn't hit that serious point at 6 months so her expectations were unreasonable. She's taken it well and changed her expectations in response to feedback. That's pretty good 👍.

What is wrong with strangers? They’ve only met a few times so they are not really familiar with each other. OPs partner wants her to go shopping for a suit for himself, she isn’t helping the groom find a suit.