Partner’s son’s wedding no invite

[heidi696]

So my partner of about 6 months - his son is getting married in about a months time but he told me I’m not invited. Im thinking it’s because we are only “new” ? I mean it hasn’t really bothered me but he wants me to go with him to pick out a new suit and I’m hearing about it nearly every day obviously my partner is excited and I was thinking it would be nice to get dressed up and be included- even if they didn’t want me in family photos which I would understand of course. Is this normal - not to be invited.

TBH, given what a nightmare blended families are for children, we could do with more people keeping their new partners separate from their children altogether.

If someone got pregnant by someone she'd only been seeing for a few months, I would say she was having a baby with her boyfriend, not her partner. Partner seems more appropriate for someone you've been seeing for at least a year. Realistically, there has to be a cut-off point, or teenagers who've been dating for a week would be "partners"!

Before you were even on the scene, he had probably got his final draft at a guest list, and sent out save the dates, if not the actual invites if you've only been together for 6 months.

6 months is nothing. Weddings can be emotive at the best of times, and stirring up emotions for his family, particularly his mum, isn't something he'll be thrilled to do for a very short term partner.

He's estranged from his mum

I mean that's the bit most people find boring. The main event is the party and the social aspect of it in my circle, and for my own wedding. I only had a 15 minute ceremony as I wanted to crack on with the celebrations that you get 'dressed up for.' Hardly anyone will think 'ah yes a wedding, I'm buzzing to see 2 people read a lot of lines to each other and to sing a hymn'

I wouldn't consider 6 months a stranger and the fact that your partner wants your advice shows that he appreciates your views /opinions :)

But, don't think it is weird you haven't been invited either.

Natural that he is excited - could you jokingly say ' stop going on about it' ? or would be be pd off?

As PP suggested, get a nice day sorted (spa ?, and glam yourself up )

Exactly. What would the dad do if he was single? Would he need to bring a mate?

It's his son’s wedding, not an opportunity for a date.

So why bother having a marriage at all if the vows are so unimportant to you?

If its just the razamataz and the trappings just have a big party, don't bother with the " boring bit".

It make come as a shock to you but some people actually take getting married seriously and don't just get married for the knees up.

Id not invite you

yes, she absolutely can be called a stranger, most of all by the son, who is the person getting married after all

6 months is just 5minutes really. And even more so when they are adult children and you will have zero connection or bearing in their life. I would think 6months is also girlfriend not partner so I can see why they wouldn’t want to include you. It isn’t rude at all, it’s completely fine.

Who wants to be known as the nightmare new girlfriend?

I’m surprised you’re surprised you’re not invited tbh. Weddings are expensive and I’m guessing they barely know and/or have many more closer friends and family over you so why would they invite you…

How is she a nightmare for feeling disappointed that she's not going to a wedding. Sorry but that's personal and completely unnecessary

Maybe because not everyone is religious and doesn't want a huge long church ceremony?

I would imagine they came up with the guest list before you were even on the scene.

I wouldn't expect a 6 month partner to be invited. Especially when the person you're with has an important role in the wedding (father of the groom). He should be (not unreasonably) focused on his son.

Dad’s girlfriend of 6 months does not belong at the wedding.

His son’s marriage is a major event in his life. Of course he is talking about it and will continue to talk about it.

If you can’t simply be supportive, perhaps you should not be in this relationship.

Yes, I think it's normal.
A 6 month relationship is very short.
Plus, the father of the groom is part of the main wedding party. It would be odd to have someone you barely know included in that.

It isn’t personal at all. I wasn’t even addressing the OP! It was the rather haughty “I would not take kindly to being excluded” comment. It sounds over-entitled and very main character syndrome.

Maybe he should be supportive of the fact that she's not been invited to even the reception and he's constantly talking about the wedding

What has being religious and not wanting a huge long ceremony got to do with wondering why people bother getting married if they regard the vows as boring unimportant?
As I said in my post: why not skip having a wedding ceremony at all and just have a big party.

How is it “spiteful”? The son is the one issuing the invitations here, and OP is a virtual stranger to him. It isn’t an insult, it’s a factual description.

Not weird not to invite you.
Very weird to ask for help picking out his suit?

The invites would've gone out more than 6 months ago. And it's fair enough if their budget can't extend to even one extra.

Just be supportive and let him enjoy the day. Go out with your friends that day and do something fun you enjoy.

Because he’s very sensible?