Aibu to feel jealous of my neighbour

[dgs21]

We’re both single parents, she has 2 children aged 12 and 2. I have an 8yo and one on the way.

We’ve both lived in our houses for the same amount of time around 8 years so I know her quite well. I work 4 days a week until 8pm plus over time, I do a course alongside my job as I work in pharmacy and have to complete a 3 year course so I can be a qualified dispenser and hoping to go to uni next year. I’m working really hard and don’t seem to have any time or money to keep my house, garden and even myself in check as I’m always working and paying bills/food/driving lessons/daughter etc. I earn around £900 a month plus £200 UC. My 8yo is being assessed for autism and ADHD but I feel like I shouldn’t apply for PIP until she’s officially diagnosed as she’s not too high on the spectrum.

my next door neighbour hasn’t worked a day since I’ve known her, she told me a few years ago it’s because she “coughs too much”, she is constantly smoking weed. She receives over £1,000 a month for he 12yo because he is mildly autistic but undiagnosed atm and told me she actually exaggerated his symptoms to get more money, plus the other benefits she gets. She gets around £2,000 a month in total. Since she has started receiving the PIP for her son, she has covered herself in tattoos, her front and back garden has transformed and is full of flowers which she has said she spent £300 at home bargains last week, she gambles on gambling apps and has spent over £100 in one day, and just in general spends allot of money on herself and her house and has all day everyday to do this.

(forgot to mention I receive housing benefit too based on my income each month)

ABIU to be feeling jealous, we’ve got along quite well the past few years but am now starting to resent her, I’m even thinking of moving house so I don’t have to see her everyday

We’re both single parents, she has 2 children aged 12 and 2. I have an 8yo and one on the way.

Single parent and pregnant - how does that work?

I’m 5 months pregnant my partner left me when he found out that’s how?

What are you envious of? Thew tattoos?, the weed? or the fact she doesn't work?
Or are you envious of the fact this woman is clearly not a good person, but gets away with it?
Your problem is you- not her.

Yeah it’s us that are weird 🤣

So your UC will be boosted up in a few months... lucky you.

Stop looking at her and look at your own situation instead. You are just as bad. You may be working but you are claiming benefits too. And why are you having another baby when you are single and struggling with work, studying, 8yo? You have no right to be judging anyone.

You keep threatening to leave but you are still here.

It's not an airport, you don't need to announce your departure.

So your choosing not to apply for DLA. You do receive some uc. Plus housing element. But because you choose not to claim DLA your neighbour should not either. Its also OK that you claim uc and housing element. But not for yoir neighbour to. ?

It was quite clear you were never friends with your neighbour op, your posts reek of bitterness.

Don’t be jealous of someone like that, OP!

I thought you were going to say she’s elegant and beauty with an amazing career and perfect children 😂

So basically you are both single parents and both receiving benefits. She won't be getting £1000 for her child's undiagnosed ASD, but if she is, you'll no doubt be entitled to the same once your son gets his diagnosis.

Both single parents but given OP is pregnant, she is presumably going to be claiming more anyway and won’t be able to work for a while.

OP, this thread was always going to go badly for you…
I think we absolutely need to be able to have conversations where, no matter our personal feelings, we admit the complexity of the situation. I know a lot of people work really hard for not much money. I know a lot of people who rely on benefits struggle to live on them. I know some people (and companies) abuse the system — either by claiming benefits they’re not entitled to or not paying enough/any tax. I also know tax evasion costs the government more money than benefit fraud — but that doesn’t make either okay. I think it’s okay to say that, personally — or ought to be.

Perhaps op is concerned she's going to end up just like her "friend?"

Flounce number three…

You aren’t honest IP - you said you were friends and she told you these things.
That didn’t happen
You dislike her as you now say.
You talk the big talk of “calling her out” - by misrepresenting your own relationship with her and lack of knowledge and to make it even WORSE you describe witnessing neglect and you haven’t “called her out” in person or to social services.
You are as much of a prize as this (honest guv she’s real) neighbour.
Big clap for working part-time. That’s all it takes to be noteworthy in your view then you are winning.
Or maybe report the issues you allegedly see to the appropriate authorities instead of the “weird” site you are on..

Dla can be claimed without a diagnosis.

If you work 24 hours a week surely you would be bringing home about £1200 a month??

@sidneytweeney is spot on here, @dgs21 - you are building a future for yourself and your children, whereas she will be stuck in the same life forever.

God, you’re so dramatic.

Why are you jealous? You are going to have a career with progression. Living on benefits is no fun even if the figures sound good.

she sounds hideous tbh. You are working to improve yourself and gain qualifications. You will always always be better than her and a better role model to your children than your tattoo covered weed smoking neighbour who isn’t contributing anything to society.

This is hilarious. Why would the OP aspire to be like that? A tattooed weed addict/alcoholic single parent who lives off benefits. Sounds like a dreadful life.

@dgs21this is what you should remember.