Aibu to feel jealous of my neighbour

[dgs21]

We’re both single parents, she has 2 children aged 12 and 2. I have an 8yo and one on the way.

We’ve both lived in our houses for the same amount of time around 8 years so I know her quite well. I work 4 days a week until 8pm plus over time, I do a course alongside my job as I work in pharmacy and have to complete a 3 year course so I can be a qualified dispenser and hoping to go to uni next year. I’m working really hard and don’t seem to have any time or money to keep my house, garden and even myself in check as I’m always working and paying bills/food/driving lessons/daughter etc. I earn around £900 a month plus £200 UC. My 8yo is being assessed for autism and ADHD but I feel like I shouldn’t apply for PIP until she’s officially diagnosed as she’s not too high on the spectrum.

my next door neighbour hasn’t worked a day since I’ve known her, she told me a few years ago it’s because she “coughs too much”, she is constantly smoking weed. She receives over £1,000 a month for he 12yo because he is mildly autistic but undiagnosed atm and told me she actually exaggerated his symptoms to get more money, plus the other benefits she gets. She gets around £2,000 a month in total. Since she has started receiving the PIP for her son, she has covered herself in tattoos, her front and back garden has transformed and is full of flowers which she has said she spent £300 at home bargains last week, she gambles on gambling apps and has spent over £100 in one day, and just in general spends allot of money on herself and her house and has all day everyday to do this.

(forgot to mention I receive housing benefit too based on my income each month)

ABIU to be feeling jealous, we’ve got along quite well the past few years but am now starting to resent her, I’m even thinking of moving house so I don’t have to see her everyday

There’s no way she would be getting that much for a mildly, undiagnosed autistic son. Nor for her cough. Either she’s lying to you or you’re lying here. Disability benefits aren’t easy to get, I hate this idea people have that they are. I’ve helped a very ill family member apply, it wasn’t easy to get, even with all their evidence, and then as I’d been through the process with them I helped a friend with an autistic child - high needs, diagnosed and with evidence from school and medical professionals, and they didn’t as much as your friend is claiming she receives for her son.

And this.

And this. Loads of lovely comments.

You don’t get pip for children under 18 . Just another benefit bashing thread

The juvenile name calling is so befitting of you OP. Have a nice Afternoon.

If your ''friend'' told you that she gets PIP for her child then she is very confused because PIP is for adults, not children.

1. How do you know the son is not diagnosed? How can she just gets the money without papers
2. Why you poison yourself with others affairs?
3. What would happen if you lose your job? Are you ready for life on benefits

Never mind what your neighbour is upto.
Apply for DLA for your child. It’s assessed on their additional needs, not a diagnosis.

You don't need a diagnosis because it is based on care needs. You do need medical evidence.

But no one is claiming PIP for their child because it is 16+ only.

The people who dispense in my pharmacy are lovely and intelligent. They need to dispense medicines to people from all walks of life and be non-judgemental. Are you sure this is the right fit for you?

id not be jealous of a person with a gambling problem

My friend is a dispensing chemist and I thought the same.

They don’t.
My child is profoundly autistic. He’s non verbal, incontinent, has absolutely no danger awareness so cannot be left alone for even the time it takes me to pee. He doesn’t get £1000 per month in DLA.

Jealousy is an ugly emotion, childish and achieves nothing.

I know you would not want to be you neighbour! You will be a well qualified person before too long, have more money and a more fulfilling life. She will be in the same position. Think on that.

The only thing that surprises me about this scenario is you being pregnant. You do not know how you are going to feel with a young baby and no partner as well as your older child.

Honestly, time and time again Mumsnet posts show that it is a very bad idea to discuss your personal incomes, and sources, with anybody.

"Am I being unreasonable"
"Yes"
"You bunch of weirdos"

...why ask??

Literally not a lie at all. My sister hasn't even had the results from her sons Autism test and is already claiming.
I am so sorry they made you jump through all those hoops to get help for your child.
Maybe it's a post code lottery because there is absolutely no sign of that here. And yes the mums at the school are talking openly about this and even offering to help eachother fill in the forms. I'm wondering if made your claim years ago when there was less people claiming. There is no way the NHS would offer all those tests now if you think about this logically.

But OP thinks she is morally in the right apparently because her neighbour is claiming benefits.

Even though she is claiming herself and will be having a baby so that will delay being able to support herself further.

Our aspirations really need to change in the UK. Now we're jealous of neighbours who get £2k in UC and other benefits while she spends her day smoking and not working.....

You could argue that if people are better off on benefits than working, it’s the system that needs to be looked at.

Yep this! And it's jobs that need to be paid more, not benefits that need reducing.

😆

Your thread title makes it clear you are jealous of this woman. When the thread doesn’t go the way you expected, you are portraying her in the most negative light possible.

So tell us again why you would be jealous of her if she is so awful?

OP , her life will never change and in a few years time when her eldest child hits 17 her income will fall dramatically whilst yours will continue to rise. If i was you i would hang on to that.🌺

I work my arse off, as does my partner. Our neighbour sits on her backside all day. Her daughter is 19 and still lives at home, but no ND in play.

Neighbour used to abuse prescription medicines, (many years ago, long before we knew her) and only works 1 hour a week. She is also an alcoholic and fell off the wagon about two years ago. We know all this because we all got on really well before she fell off the wagon.

She's now become nasty, abusive, blasts music all day long. I'm not able to sleep because of it. Yet somehow she's got the money for a whole new back and front garden, new sofa, just bought her daughter a car, and mother and daughter are always coming home with bags of shopping. She also gets her bins professionally cleaned every week, plus her windows cleaned.

I'm not jealous though. Her life seems really sad. She has no life skills, no career, and clearly doesn't make her own money. I envy her having all that free time while I work all day, but I'd rather be self sufficient.

I’m not sure why you are considering pip for your child? 🤔 unless his autism affects his every day living it’s really not appropriate to claim. You say he’s not “high” on the spectrum (I’m summising from that, that he’s low need?) so he doesn’t automatically qualify for it as he has a diagnosis.