Aibu to feel jealous of my neighbour

[dgs21]

We’re both single parents, she has 2 children aged 12 and 2. I have an 8yo and one on the way.

We’ve both lived in our houses for the same amount of time around 8 years so I know her quite well. I work 4 days a week until 8pm plus over time, I do a course alongside my job as I work in pharmacy and have to complete a 3 year course so I can be a qualified dispenser and hoping to go to uni next year. I’m working really hard and don’t seem to have any time or money to keep my house, garden and even myself in check as I’m always working and paying bills/food/driving lessons/daughter etc. I earn around £900 a month plus £200 UC. My 8yo is being assessed for autism and ADHD but I feel like I shouldn’t apply for PIP until she’s officially diagnosed as she’s not too high on the spectrum.

my next door neighbour hasn’t worked a day since I’ve known her, she told me a few years ago it’s because she “coughs too much”, she is constantly smoking weed. She receives over £1,000 a month for he 12yo because he is mildly autistic but undiagnosed atm and told me she actually exaggerated his symptoms to get more money, plus the other benefits she gets. She gets around £2,000 a month in total. Since she has started receiving the PIP for her son, she has covered herself in tattoos, her front and back garden has transformed and is full of flowers which she has said she spent £300 at home bargains last week, she gambles on gambling apps and has spent over £100 in one day, and just in general spends allot of money on herself and her house and has all day everyday to do this.

(forgot to mention I receive housing benefit too based on my income each month)

ABIU to be feeling jealous, we’ve got along quite well the past few years but am now starting to resent her, I’m even thinking of moving house so I don’t have to see her everyday

This is not true at all! My child has ASD and receives £440 every 4 weeks DLA and is not affected physically whatsoever! Please get your facts straight before spouting misinformation online

Oh the system is definitely messed up and has created lots of unintended consequences.

This! I have one child with ASD and I’m very severely physically disabled myself (became severely disabled AFTER having my child before any snarky comments are made about why I had a child when disabled) and I receive in total, £2,724 per month (DLA & my PIP as well as the child benefit are all paid four-weekly so I’ve calculated the monthly rate for them ie: four-weekly amounts ➗4, x 52 then ➗12). The amount I receive would be roughly £350-380 more per month but that goes to Motability for my car.

As DoubleRainbow3 said, you very much do NOT want my life. I am in pain 24/7, I often wake up barely able to stand yet still have to be a parent 7 days a week as my DH (my child’s father) has passed away and I only have two family members who cannot help in any way and none of my DH’s family want to know.

I have to deal with meltdowns regardless of whether I’m too dizzy to stand or have a raging, bone-quivering fever or can barely move away from the bathroom floor - I still have to parent a child whose rigid routines CANNOT be varied in any way shape or form. And as of recently, now have to homeschool as well for reasons beyond our control so the reactive meltdowns have increased. I have no friends, haven’t had a partner in almost 10 years and I’m lonely as fuck.Haven’t been inside of a pub or cafe since 2014.

Yes I have the ‘luxury’ of a brand new car but it never gets driven as I am rarely well enough to leave the house! So you can take it if it means I can have my health back and have a life!!!! I’d LOVE to be well enough to work

I wouldn’t say it’s vicious. In this situation, real or not, the person sounds like a piece of crap. In this situation, real or not, you could report for drugs, and report for lying to achieve more payments. We all know there are those that fiddle the benefits system, piss money up the wall on pets, drugs, tattoos (or whatever) and we resent them for it. Whether it’s taxpayers resenting having to fund it, or honest people working hard and being topped up with UC and seeing their neighbours sat on their arse doing nothing and using their kids to fund disgusting habits. Might be cock and bull for this person, but it’s a real situation in some cases, no?

It seems to be real for a lot of people. I have yet to be told by anybody that I know, live near, in the corner shop etc, tell me that they are fudging the system, and claiming for 2 or 3 children with mild Autism, or slight Anxiety, which enables them to sit around all day, and night, and drive a brand new car!

No, yet again you are not telling the truth. People are pointing out, you cannot get pip/dla of £1,000 a month for child with undiagnosed mild autism

Jealousy is never reasonable.

PIP is an adult-only benefit, so unless the child is being awarded DLA instead, then your neighbour is telling pork pies.

DLA (or PIP) is not a supplement for low-income individuals, as it's not means-tested. It's given to meet the additional daily living and/or mobility costs that someone would incur as a result of their illness or disability.

Whilst an ASD child can be awarded DLA, it's only done so if the child has significantly increased care or supervision needs as a result of their condition.

I don't believe it's essential to have a formal diagnosis to apply (could be wrong, apologies if so), but I guess the child's daily living would have to be quite severely impacted to be awarded DLA without medical backup.

And for the record, I echo what so many other posters have put - you're the winner here. The struggles you are facing now are for the greater good of you and your children. They won't go on forever. 💐

You're correct, no diagnosis is required but medical evidence is required.