Aibu to feel jealous of my neighbour

[dgs21]

We’re both single parents, she has 2 children aged 12 and 2. I have an 8yo and one on the way.

We’ve both lived in our houses for the same amount of time around 8 years so I know her quite well. I work 4 days a week until 8pm plus over time, I do a course alongside my job as I work in pharmacy and have to complete a 3 year course so I can be a qualified dispenser and hoping to go to uni next year. I’m working really hard and don’t seem to have any time or money to keep my house, garden and even myself in check as I’m always working and paying bills/food/driving lessons/daughter etc. I earn around £900 a month plus £200 UC. My 8yo is being assessed for autism and ADHD but I feel like I shouldn’t apply for PIP until she’s officially diagnosed as she’s not too high on the spectrum.

my next door neighbour hasn’t worked a day since I’ve known her, she told me a few years ago it’s because she “coughs too much”, she is constantly smoking weed. She receives over £1,000 a month for he 12yo because he is mildly autistic but undiagnosed atm and told me she actually exaggerated his symptoms to get more money, plus the other benefits she gets. She gets around £2,000 a month in total. Since she has started receiving the PIP for her son, she has covered herself in tattoos, her front and back garden has transformed and is full of flowers which she has said she spent £300 at home bargains last week, she gambles on gambling apps and has spent over £100 in one day, and just in general spends allot of money on herself and her house and has all day everyday to do this.

(forgot to mention I receive housing benefit too based on my income each month)

ABIU to be feeling jealous, we’ve got along quite well the past few years but am now starting to resent her, I’m even thinking of moving house so I don’t have to see her everyday

Be proud of yourself OP. You are paying it forward and in ten years time she won’t even cross your mind. You are doing great

ok I get a million pounds a week. Its must be true because I told you.

Do you want to live of the benefits that they get with a disabled child into the bargain.

cos it isn’t a damn bed of roses it’s demoralising and damn hard every day

do you know it costs an extra £995 per month for a disabled person.

this is her bashing benefits and it’s rage bait on repeat.

Well no one gets pip for a 12 yo and no one on pip or dla gets £1000 a mth either.

@dgs21 it's DLA for a child under 16, if your child has extra care needs compared to a child of similar age, then you'll get it. It's not based on diagnosis, it's based on care needs. Also, she may have exaggerated the needs but it would have to have been backed up by professionals

£1000 a month for a child who hasn't even got a diagnosis? Pull the other one.

Op I’m jealous of you!!!!!! I work in a supermarket and what you are doing and your potential is amazing to me!! Never be jealous of someone who will never have the potential to get more/ doesn’t want the potential to get more x You’re amazing x

Yes £850. £850 isn't £1000 is it. £1000 is an over exaggeration and a lie.

Your neighbour must be bored rigid all day.

Jeez you wouldn't want to be her, would you? She sounds exactly like the sort of person most people despise. But I totally understand that you resent her - that's something different. I think all working people who contribute to society whilst raising their children would resent her.

Maybe she means a month.

Wow sorry for believing what I was told I’m such a bad person

Somewhat ironic that all this endless benefit bashing will eventually lead to benefits being ended for everyone except pensioners.......including the OP.

Thought you were leaving..?

If she gets high DLA plus carers, that’s easily £1000. My daughter is autistic and life is hard. She IS working - a single mother, raising two children one of whom is ND? Pretty tough job to me. I don’t begrudge her some bloody flowers.

If you really think she is scamming the system by exaggerating her child’s disability then report her.
what do you hope to achieve by posting on here?

Sorry for coming back to my own post

'I’m calling someone out for scamming the benefit system'.

Right. So you're not remotely 'jealous' at all.

You did in fact come here to find validation for your anger at someone who you claim is abusing the benefits system.

At least be honest about it.

This. She has no future.

You still haven’t told us what you spend your free money on?

not bad......maybe naive?

It’s completely natural to feel resentful when you’re working yourself to the bone and seeing someone else seemingly "play the system." It feels like a slap in the face when you're struggling to pay for driving lessons and basics while she's spending hundreds on gardens and tattoos. Your hard work is setting a massive example for your kids, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.

Op ignore all the negative comments on here the neighbour is obviously getting more money than you. You can feel resentment I do.

I don’t think working part-time and spending 4 hours every day on a course (really? 100% focused working only on your course 9.30-1.30 every day?) is ‘working yourself to the bone’, especially as OP’s child is 8 so doesn’t need full-on care when at home. OP must also have lots of childcare help to do her part-time job which is at a particularly unhelpful time for having a child (2-8pm x 4 days a week). I agree that OP is doing v well out of the benefits system, having the privilege to work only part-time and receive UC and a housing element on top when there’s no reason she couldn’t work full-time!

If she’s scamming, report her.