Aibu to feel jealous of my neighbour

[dgs21]

We’re both single parents, she has 2 children aged 12 and 2. I have an 8yo and one on the way.

We’ve both lived in our houses for the same amount of time around 8 years so I know her quite well. I work 4 days a week until 8pm plus over time, I do a course alongside my job as I work in pharmacy and have to complete a 3 year course so I can be a qualified dispenser and hoping to go to uni next year. I’m working really hard and don’t seem to have any time or money to keep my house, garden and even myself in check as I’m always working and paying bills/food/driving lessons/daughter etc. I earn around £900 a month plus £200 UC. My 8yo is being assessed for autism and ADHD but I feel like I shouldn’t apply for PIP until she’s officially diagnosed as she’s not too high on the spectrum.

my next door neighbour hasn’t worked a day since I’ve known her, she told me a few years ago it’s because she “coughs too much”, she is constantly smoking weed. She receives over £1,000 a month for he 12yo because he is mildly autistic but undiagnosed atm and told me she actually exaggerated his symptoms to get more money, plus the other benefits she gets. She gets around £2,000 a month in total. Since she has started receiving the PIP for her son, she has covered herself in tattoos, her front and back garden has transformed and is full of flowers which she has said she spent £300 at home bargains last week, she gambles on gambling apps and has spent over £100 in one day, and just in general spends allot of money on herself and her house and has all day everyday to do this.

(forgot to mention I receive housing benefit too based on my income each month)

ABIU to be feeling jealous, we’ve got along quite well the past few years but am now starting to resent her, I’m even thinking of moving house so I don’t have to see her everyday

Eventually MN will probably end up with just bots and trolls talking to each other.

I thought you were leaving the discussion?

More than likely, it’s becoming mind numbing dealing with threads like this. Mumsnet HQ need to get a grip on things or loose their audience.

If you r4ad the post properly, it's not a benefits bashing post. The OP receivrs a top up from benefits also as her income is below what the government deems is the minimum need to live on for basics.

The content of the post is that the neighbour has admitted to exagerating issues to receive more money in benefit and is behaving like an entitled twat. The OP has a wirk ethic and is working hard to improve her life and thst of her childrens. The difference is stark. Quite frankly, if I knew of someone taking the piss and claiming benefits I'd be resentful too because it makes it harder fpr legit claimants to get what they need.

Wonder what OP spends her UC on?

But it is though because op is just making random figures up out of thin air.

Yes, we need a breakdown to enable us to judge whether her spending is ‘appropriate’ of not. After all she is also a recipient of free money…

Why on earth are you having another baby if you are in such a dire situation? Perhaps you should concentrate on your own life instead of getting offended by other people's finances.

I wouldn't be jealous longterm. You sound like you have a plan and goals.
Stuff for your house and garden will get old and then get replaced. Its just stuff.
Its awful she is abusing a system put in place to help people with disabled children. And doing any drugs when you have children is exceptionally selfish.
Its odd she gets 1000 pip for her child as thats above the maximum you can get.
I would know I have a disabled child who gets the max because they have so many additional needs including mobility.

Maybe she is just exaggerating to make herself sound/feel better as she may be jealous of you.

@dgs21 it’s not fair, and it would be great for the government to crack down on those able to work but don’t.

However, why have you made your own life harder by getting pregnant again and having no partner on the seen?

Why don't you ask her if you want to know so badly.

fast forward a few years and you will be qualified and doing a job you have studied hard to get and one which will have prospects. Your neighbour will be doing who knows what? Focus on living your life and following your plans. I had a friend years ago who was on benefits and seemed to live a life of luxury compared to mine, a nice home, a car, better clothes, expensive handbags and so on. Her boyfriend lived with her and worked but she did not declare he was there and then she confinded in me that she also had a sugar daddy! He was the source of the bags, the car, and her Rolex watch. So she was cheating the system and cheating on her boyfriend. Yes, she had more than me materially but I had peace of mind and no worries about it all falling apart, which it did when the bf found out about the sugar daddy.

It's always the same with these goady posts. OP gets defensive when called out... shows true colours

0/10 OP

Maybe put time spent on mumsnet into your 'OU course'

Why are you only getting £200 UC if you earn £900 a month??

children get dla not pip. It's based on need and you have to supply supporting evidence

1000 a month would be the highest rate plus carers allowance so v unlikely.

Why would you be jealous of someone with a gambling problem? Sounds very sad to me

jealousy makes you ugly.

Bask in the glow that you are morally superior?

Or carry on doing what you do, you set a good example to your own kids, and you make your own way in life. That is something to be proud of.

YNBU to feel jealous. Jealousy is something we all feel from time to time, we’re human. But it’s not great for you to have a friend you resent. I’d put the friendship on the back burner while you’re feeing like this. It sounds like you don’t have much free time as it is and it’s would be better to spend it in better functioning relationships.

At least the OP is working and not being a layabout. It's none of your business why she is having another baby. You're deflecting from the original post.

I agree with the PP who said you have a lot to feel proud of. You are on your way to a respected career and have that to spur you on, even if it is hard work. I lived on a shit estate while I was doing my first degree and it was a huge social come down. However I knew it was not permanent. One day you will be qualified and able to earn your living rather than having it handed to you. However if you have a disabled child you should apply for the appropriate benefit (children get DLA) because the money is for the child and to help with those extra expenses. Its not to improve your house or garden.

You will have your qualification and your career when your neighbour has only impermanent material things to show.

Is it our business if she receives free money from taxpayers? The OP seems to think it’s her business what her neighbour spends her money on..
same standard should be applied, don’t you think?

UC takes into account earnings and disregards 55p per £1.00 of earnings. How is calculated is available on Google. It's not a secret.

Okay I’ll bite.
@dgs21 - please do share what you spend your free money on?

Well maybe she has more in common with the 'neighbour' than she thinks, and should not be so quick to run and post about her. (If she even exists).

So much bull in this post... for a start a 12yo doesn't get PIP. It's DLA, and no one gets it for being mildly autistic.

My son is profoundly autistic and gets full rate DLA (it’s not PIP for a child) and mobility allowance and it’s not £1000 per month… you also don’t get it for being ‘mildly autistic’, however much you exaggerate, as you have to have proof of their difficulties.
So I’m calling bullshit on this one.