Aibu to feel jealous of my neighbour

[dgs21]

We’re both single parents, she has 2 children aged 12 and 2. I have an 8yo and one on the way.

We’ve both lived in our houses for the same amount of time around 8 years so I know her quite well. I work 4 days a week until 8pm plus over time, I do a course alongside my job as I work in pharmacy and have to complete a 3 year course so I can be a qualified dispenser and hoping to go to uni next year. I’m working really hard and don’t seem to have any time or money to keep my house, garden and even myself in check as I’m always working and paying bills/food/driving lessons/daughter etc. I earn around £900 a month plus £200 UC. My 8yo is being assessed for autism and ADHD but I feel like I shouldn’t apply for PIP until she’s officially diagnosed as she’s not too high on the spectrum.

my next door neighbour hasn’t worked a day since I’ve known her, she told me a few years ago it’s because she “coughs too much”, she is constantly smoking weed. She receives over £1,000 a month for he 12yo because he is mildly autistic but undiagnosed atm and told me she actually exaggerated his symptoms to get more money, plus the other benefits she gets. She gets around £2,000 a month in total. Since she has started receiving the PIP for her son, she has covered herself in tattoos, her front and back garden has transformed and is full of flowers which she has said she spent £300 at home bargains last week, she gambles on gambling apps and has spent over £100 in one day, and just in general spends allot of money on herself and her house and has all day everyday to do this.

(forgot to mention I receive housing benefit too based on my income each month)

ABIU to be feeling jealous, we’ve got along quite well the past few years but am now starting to resent her, I’m even thinking of moving house so I don’t have to see her everyday

OP, you have a future. She doesn’t. Well done to you.

I doubt she actually has everything she wants in life OP, the situation hardly sounds amazing. Sounds pretty grim to be honest and I feel sorry for her children.

I take your point that it can feel unfair when you perceive that someone gets a lot of financial help when you don't but as it sounds like you are planning to apply for PIP and claim UC, what difference will there be in the long term? Your financial situation sounds as though it will improve through a process of claiming for entitled benefits and improving yourself professionally and achieving a higher salary, at which point you can also use any money you have spare for whatever you prefer.

I'd rather be on the bones of my arse, working and educating myself than coughing my guts up at home all day smoking weed, good lord. That's no life.

If the issue is that you think she's fraudulently claimed benefits and think that's wrong then report her for it.

are you ok emuloc? Has this triggered you in some way?

I am fine thanks for asking. How about you?

Op sadly people who don’t work won’t care how they spend their free money and people only get offended because they’re on benefits or they know someone who is. The benefit system stinks it’s not fair at all and you probably resent the fact she wastes her money that’s free to her for doing fuck all. Simple as that. Your working your arse off and you have nothing spare of course this will piss you off. She is also rubbing your face in it. These people who don’t work at all are laughing at us mugs working to pay for there cushy life. If people work some hours and get uc that’s acceptable but lazy arses doing nothing pisses me off too.

Pip is an adult benefit so she wouldn't get this for a child? To get even the lowest rate you have to provide various evidence from professionals especially if he is undiagnosed so her exaggerating his difficulties would not lead to this she is probably exagerrating to you.
Btw if your child has greater than average daily care needs you can apply now for dla. There is no point getting angry about someone else's situation the only thing you can affect is your own

Why are you only getting £200 UC when you are earning £900 a month. That doesn’t seem right at all. My husband is on 30k, we do have more kids, but get a lot more than that. Plus CB and Scottish child payment.

you don’t need a diagnosis to get disability payment for your child. What do you think having the diagnosis will change WRT how you don’t think you should apply?

it’s money for your child that could help them, special clothing, toys or sensory items, a special bike, certain food that they like, taxi or fuel for your car to take them to appointments or places that benefit them, etc

Well I wouldn’t be jealous of that lifestyle. She lives a terrible life, whether she realises it or not.

The benefit gravy train will inevitably derail at some point, this is what council estates up and down the country look like, and have for quite some years. Though, the people on here would have you believe people are living in slums and eating gruel for their only meal per week.

I welcome the financial crash that’s hurtling towards us at great speed. There simply won’t be the money to give to people for minor ailments or mild mental disorders that have come from living too comfortable a life.

You don’t get £1000 on dla or pip even on the highest rates, stop lying.

Why am I, as a tax payer, funding you to work part time? Why am I going to be funding your second child? Isn't one enough when you are a single parent? Where is the father in all this?

Your neighbour sounds a nightmare. If the DWP get wind of her exagerated claims she won't be getting paid to sit on her backside taking the piss for much longer. She needs to be careful lying and shooting her mouth off about it.

I would keep my distance from her as much as you can. Just be polite when you see her but as you're working and bringing up a child with another on the way, that's the perfect excuse not to have time for her shenanigans.

Concentrate on your life and your family. You're doing great and putting in hard work for a good career and good money making opportunities to set you and your children up.

Short term your neighbour may think she has things sussed but she's a leech and not independent and not a good role model for her kids as she is a liar.

You're doing great. Keep going and ignore the silly bitch next door.

Her future seems quite limited. She deserves sympathy for her lack of ambition rather than jealousy. Your life will get better- hers won’t

Someone clearly woke up bored and wanted to stir up hate today.

Indeed. Your work is done - another benefit bashing thread, this time with tattoos.

PIP for under 16 year olds is DLA.

Give her the cold shoulder. Stop talking to her. If you think she's committing fraud, report it, but you'll be happier if you just pretend she doesn't exist or that you don't know anything about her.

☠️☠️☠️☠️😂😂😂😂😂 the amount of people who are okay with spending government money on drugs tattoos and gambling wow 😅 I’m not benefit bashing I’m bashing what they spend their benefits on

She doesn’t know anything as she’s making figures up out of nothing, nobody gets £1,000 off DLA even on high rates. The neighbour likely doesn’t exsist.

Yes, but it is happening more, and more on Mumsnet, which is a shame, as people are so quick to believe all these stories, that start off with the OP not even getting the small details right.

Aren't you going to answer my questions OP?

You don’t even know how much money she gets as your completely wrong with the figures. You obviously wanted to start a benefit bashing thread. You’re bloody vile.

Well, my answers are based on what the assumption that what an OP says is fact (or their understanding of it). Otherwise, what's the point of answering at all?

I miss the old Mumsnet when people were actually educated & clued up. Not the riff raff that make accounts now, they need to go back to facebook.

Rather than worry about your friend, you need to need to look at your own situation, as there is something very amiss with your finances. Firstly, if you earn only £900 per month for 4 days (assume long days as you reference the 8pm finish) you are receiving below NNW.
Secondly, unless you're housed in some type of emergency accommodation you should not be receiving housing benefit as you get UC.
(You might also want to tell your neighbour that the PIP she's receiving for her child is being paid in error unless the child is 16.)

In order to receive those kind of benefits for a disabled child, that child would have to be considered severely mentally impaired (awful, but legal terminology used by the DWP). Children don’t receive PIP, they receive DLA, which is about £115 per week for highest needs care (which you have to prove continual day and night care is required), and high rate mobility is about £80 per week. To get that a child must either be completely unable to walk, fully blind, or severely mentally impaired (there is a checklist for this and you have to meet every criteria, including the requirement for restraint in multiple settings, so require respite/school reports). If you meet all of that criteria and also claim Universal Credit, there is an extra payment of around £500 per month. But absolutely nobody with “mild autism” is going to be awarded that. I know children who are double amputees who have been refused the mobility component at high rate. Sure, people lie and exaggerate, but to qualify for high rate care DLA you have to prove these things via professional support. Very few people have a child with that level of disability and don’t have a team of social workers, teachers and medics to write supporting reports.

If she has a child with this level of disability, there is absolutely nothing to envy. She and her child are facing a lifetime of struggle. If she has lied, she will soon be found out. DLA is reassessed regularly, particularly as children grow and change.