Aibu to feel jealous of my neighbour

[dgs21]

We’re both single parents, she has 2 children aged 12 and 2. I have an 8yo and one on the way.

We’ve both lived in our houses for the same amount of time around 8 years so I know her quite well. I work 4 days a week until 8pm plus over time, I do a course alongside my job as I work in pharmacy and have to complete a 3 year course so I can be a qualified dispenser and hoping to go to uni next year. I’m working really hard and don’t seem to have any time or money to keep my house, garden and even myself in check as I’m always working and paying bills/food/driving lessons/daughter etc. I earn around £900 a month plus £200 UC. My 8yo is being assessed for autism and ADHD but I feel like I shouldn’t apply for PIP until she’s officially diagnosed as she’s not too high on the spectrum.

my next door neighbour hasn’t worked a day since I’ve known her, she told me a few years ago it’s because she “coughs too much”, she is constantly smoking weed. She receives over £1,000 a month for he 12yo because he is mildly autistic but undiagnosed atm and told me she actually exaggerated his symptoms to get more money, plus the other benefits she gets. She gets around £2,000 a month in total. Since she has started receiving the PIP for her son, she has covered herself in tattoos, her front and back garden has transformed and is full of flowers which she has said she spent £300 at home bargains last week, she gambles on gambling apps and has spent over £100 in one day, and just in general spends allot of money on herself and her house and has all day everyday to do this.

(forgot to mention I receive housing benefit too based on my income each month)

ABIU to be feeling jealous, we’ve got along quite well the past few years but am now starting to resent her, I’m even thinking of moving house so I don’t have to see her everyday

I get pip.

i’d like to declare now that I spend it on designer clothes and theatre trips to London.

This exactly!

Well you could possibly be eligible for DLA for your child but you choose not to even bother claiming…

How wonderful that you continue to support the UK economy, thank you!

It’s impossible for someone to get PIP at over £1000 per month. Best thing is to take everything she says with a pinch of salt and rise above it.

It’s impossible for someone to get PIP at over £1000 per month. Best thing is to take everything she says with a pinch of salt and rise above it.

No, it isn’t

What world do you live in? DLA or PIP if you get the higher rate on both mobility and care, that's like £850 a month - fact, look it up on the government website. That is on top of any other benefits you maybe entitled to.

You have to be 16, or over to apply for it.

This ^^

You're not jealous. You're irritated about her alleged benefit award and lifestyle. And you've come here looking for validation. At least be honest.

You’ll get a workplace pension on top of your state pension. You’ve got to look at the long game.

I think smoking weed at home, and going for tattoos sounds utterly depressing; she’s probably just trying to make her life sound less pointless to you.

But then once you're entitled to DLA, there's the additional 'disabled child' element of UC (which IMO is excessive as that is what the DLA is for - if you don't get UC, you don't get anything additional!) plus the carer's element of UC.

So could be nearly £1k in total.

Course she’s getting all that money for a child with mild and undiagnosed ND 🤷‍♀️ This is why autism diagnosis threads always kick off because of people perpetuating the myth of shit tons of money being thrown at autistic people.

Perhaps if you are going to benefits bash, it might be an idea not to admit that you are also claiming. It makes you look hypocritical.

I am genuinely shocked that someone who purports to being a medical professional would say ‘she’s not too high on the spectrum.’ That is not how autism works.

Anyway if her life is so great, crack on and do the same.

Well then the OP can feel free to claim it for her kid.

You can’t get PIP for anything mild. You also have to have mountains of evidence to prove that your difficulties are what you say they are, so you can’t just exaggerate and expect to be believed. If you don’t have the evidence they don’t believe you. In fact, a lot of the time, even when you do have the evidence, they still don’t believe you. For example, a consultant psychiatrist diagnosed me with autism and wrote at length about my communication difficulties. I applied for PIP and a physiotherapist assessed me and wrote in her report that my work proved that I did not have any communication difficulties. Not sure how she thought she knew more than a consultant psychiatrist….. (she also totally misunderstood what my job was which didn’t help and didn’t ask me anything about the communication required at work. She just assumed she knew .)

YABU.

Plus disabled child element on UC and carers element

OP you should be more charitable. I bet the woman next door would love your hard-working life. There's nothing like a school run, followed by an 8 hour day, followed by another school run to give you an appetite for home-study.

She probably needs the comfort she derives from her beautiful flowers, as she sits in her garden. Sometimes it even rains, so she cannot even sit out and enjoy her flowers. There's only so much leisure activity you can engage in until you become jaded by literature, music and TV. The tattoos are a cry for help.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Deflecting from the.... total bollocks in the op?

Nah , fair enough feel jealous of a life you would like but her life is not one to be jealous of .
a few years time yours will be one she can only dream of .

I suspect she’s not really gloating. I think she feels jealous of you doing well, or self-conscious about herself so is telling you how much she gets to try to upset you and make you doubt yourself.

Ignore her and if she says something like that, then smile politely, feign disinterest and move on. My neighbour is similar, telling me how much she spent on things because she knows I’m struggling for money. It’s a sign of insecurity. Don’t rise to it and she’ll stop doing it.

Concentrate on your own plans and be proud of what you’re achieving.

You mean the highest rate for undiagnosed 'mild' autism?

Im a Nigerian prince, and could really use your help to take 400million dollar out, but I need 20,000 to get it released. Send my 20 grand and I'll half it with you....

Ffs another benefit bashing thread

live your life @dgs21 and leave her to hers simples if what’s she telling you is true and I doubt you do unless stalking her.

Do we have to keep being subjected to these baity threads? You even use the same language - "exaggerated symptoms to get more money" every damn time. Reported.

Ignore the idiots, OP. They tend to circle in greater numbers at the weekend.
You're not ‘bashing’ people on benefits, just telling the truth about the unfairness of the present system.
Best of luck in your studies and future career. 🌹

It’s so clear that everyone has more hatred towards me for working part time because I’d have no time to do my course else PLUS overtime to provide for my child than someone who scams the system and spends it on drugs and anything else for HERSELF and not her child☠️🤣 people on Mumsnet are so weird and calling me a benefit basher when I’m calling someone out for scamming the benefit system what the actual fuck😅 I’m out of here this is a weird place