AIBU to feel hurt about my daughter’s wedding plans changing

[Mimimummygranny]

My daughter had arranged her wedding for later this year, then cancelled, telling me by text. Now it’s a small wedding with only two witnesses and at 11 days notice I’m invited to a late lunch hosted by her partner’s mother.
I’m hurt and can’t believe she expects me to drop my work and other commitments (missing a medical appointment) at such short notice.
I don’t want to be unreasonable …..

174 posts and One of them is the OP's.

Yes I expect so but I would think that maybe th3 organising of the wedding was getting to her and the cost of it.

Similar posting style to the "I'm a surrogate and parents have changed their minds" and "Orchid kid" threads. Only one OP post on those too

I think someone was in a creative mood yesterday...

Yep lazy trolling

Is there a back story to this? How do you & your daughter get on & whose fault is it in your eyes?

Dont let your feelings of disappointment and ego overwhelm you so that you turn this into something thats all about you. Really the only question you need to answer for yourself, is do you want to be at your daughters wedding, no matter what date, shape or form it may be? Yes or no?

Gross is a bit strong...but on re-reading my comment I can see how it comes across, I do sound like a controlling mum which I am most certainly not, more the other way if anything.

but come on....the OP was presented with this as a fait accompli with 11 days' notice, when she has to get time off work etc. I KNOW it's up to the bride and groom to do what they want with their wedding and there's nothing wrong with letting groom's family know first, groom's family hosting etc. But I can't believe you wouldn't be a bit hurt if this was your daughter. FWIW my own daughter loves her MiL and so do I! But her MiL would never agree to this without finding out if I were ok with it too. It's called being considerate. I'd never, ever let my son and DiL do this without her parents knowing either! If the bride and groom want family involved then they need to consider them too

You can feel hurt and still accept it’s their wedding, both can be true. Usually the pain is less about the plan changing and more about quietly realizing your role changed too. Feel it, just don’t make them carry it.

I’m new here. The posts decrying me for having only one post are really more indicative of the state of mind of these sad people. Curb your criticism. You know not what you do.

Thank you to all who answered with thoughtful suggestions, some of which have changed the way I think and feel.

To those venomous few, take care, especially of yourself.

I attended the lunch and had a lovely time.

Pleased you went along and enjoyed it, OP. Definitely the right thing to swallow your disappointment and go with the flow.

@Mimimummygranny glad you had a nice time.

Did they ever explain the change of plans?

So are they married now?

Glad you went to the lunch and had a nice time