AIBU to feel upset there are no photos of my proposal?

[KatieHW]

DP proposed to me a couple of weeks ago. I feel really sad he didn’t arrange for anyone to capture this, there’s no photos let alone videos. I have said to him in the past that if I was to ever get engaged then it would be important for me to be able to look back on it in the future. When I put in my friends group chat I was engaged they all asked to see what happened and it was embarrassing to say DP didn’t think of this.

I’ve read it all now.. good grief 🤷‍♀️🙈

I mean surely everyone can see this is a wind-up/ rage bait thread in the same vein of the poster who wanted to dump the guy she was seeing because of the food he made her? I mean even the wording is identical - 'know your worth' and 'having standards'.

And the delusional OP posts are always followed by posts from a particular regular MN poster who supports the OP's delusions in the name of feminism.

At this point, I think it's a concerted MN marketing campaign to increase engagement.

This OP who doesn't do social media also talks about the Instagram grid of photos she posted for DP's birthday 🤔

Your poor fiancé. Tried to do something lovely and you’re still not satisfied. Give the guy a break. You’re embarrassed??

Yikes, what’s the wedding prep going to be like if you’re like this over your engagement?
You talked to him about what’s important for YOU but what about HIM? He might have just wanted it quiet & low key. Maybe he was nervous & didn’t want a camera pointed at him. Will he get a say in anything when it comes to planning the wedding?
What happened to just sharing a photo of the ring & telling people about it? This obsession with having to capture & share everything is just silly

My arse you don’t use socials.
It’s a thing that only people who use socials care about

Fuck me honestly you are being ridiculous.

Fair enough.

But it strikes me we never hear anything about DP’s feelings. Maybe he finds the idea of recording a proposal distasteful and/or in bad taste. Like many of us.

OP is entitled to her feelings but that doesn’t mean she is entitled to get her way every time she and DP have a difference of opinion. He should also ‘know his own worth’ etc etc etc.

No matter how in love you are, you aren’t ready to marry if you expect to get your own way whenever something is important to you, or you claim it is. That’s treating your partner like an accessory rather than a separate person.

Absolutely not, it’s a private moment between two people. I hate it when I’m in a public place and someone proposes, it makes me cringe

Yeah, me too. I mean, you just have to say no, don't you?

I can tell anyone who asks the romantic story of how my now dh proposed to me. It was really special .

I’m so old that if pics had been taken - then it would be on a Kodak 35mm film camera .

i don’t have a pic of the event that I can share on socials - but I do have a clear one in my mind - getting engaged is about the intention to get married and life long commitment to one another

it’s not about creating an Instagram moment!

focus on your life together not your socials and you’ll be a far happier person!

Brilliant

This is a very good point. Maybe the idea of having such a private moment captured on camera by a stranger was her partner’s idea of hell, and as he knows his worth he decided not to do it! His preferences matter too.

WTF did I just read?

Ah yeh cos cameras didn’t exist 😂

That's a bit cheeky! To assume that those who think it's daft to expect a photographer present are the older generation?

I would HATE to have a staged proposal with a photographer. But then I also find it weird when people have photos of themselves on their walls.

As someone who got engaged very recently, YABU.

We were walking in a very remote, beautiful part of the world - no-one around except us - when DH proposed. And definitely no-one to take photos. It was perfect. Just him and me.

We didn't even tell anyone until our return. And none of my friends asked for photos of the proposal! How weird. Perhaps it depends on the circles one moves in.

It's a really private and personal moment, OP. Don't be suckered into thinking everything in your life has to be for public consumption - much more classy this way!

Yes you are being unreasonable. What happened to actually living life and not capturing every moment on a mobile device? Grow up.

Give your head a wobble!

Don’t think it matters when we got married. I can’t believe this is a thing?

I don’t know anyone who’s been engaged in the last 10 years who has had a photo/video of the actual proposal. Except for an after pic of a ring etc maybe

I think it’s only a thing if it’s your thing! If your friends are asking for videos then it’s clearly a thing for your group.

it seems that everything has to be filmed and photographed nowadays. Our proposal was private and I wanted it that way. I’d have hated pics and videos.

have you discussed with fiancée what he wanted? Did he want videos and photos? Maybe he wanted some privacy.

maybe book a photographer to follow you around on the hen?!

So you don't think a surprise trip to Rome for a proposal was enough!

Poor guy, I see a hard time ahead!

You aren't Taylor Swift

Ohhhhhhhhh shit I don’t have standards then because my husband’s proposal was in an apartment in Alcudia before we went out for a nice meal 😂😂😂😂 bore off hun xo

Shouldn't the fact your boyfriend proposed be the highlight, rather than if someone was there to capture the moment with a camera?! Focusing on the Instagramability of the proposal and wanting to plaster it all over social media, is insulting to the proposal itself and to your boyfriend. Marriage is supposed to be about making vows to the person you love. Not turning it all into some tacky circus.

Well, not to worry, there's still time to arrange for a full film crew to document the moment you conceive your first child.