AIBU to feel upset there are no photos of my proposal?

[KatieHW]

DP proposed to me a couple of weeks ago. I feel really sad he didn’t arrange for anyone to capture this, there’s no photos let alone videos. I have said to him in the past that if I was to ever get engaged then it would be important for me to be able to look back on it in the future. When I put in my friends group chat I was engaged they all asked to see what happened and it was embarrassing to say DP didn’t think of this.

LOL.

Its a private moment shared between the 2 of you.

I absolutely don’t believe in a million years your friends wanted to see photos of him proposing!!!

DP proposed to me at Trevi Fountain and asked a random stranger to take a photo of us - which was the moment he dropped down on one knee. So yes whilst I have that photo I would have been just as happy having just the memory of it.

Edited to add - yes we got engaged in the most busy area ever however Trevi was the exact location I would have chosen to get engaged in!

Good on him. It's preparing you for a grown-up relationship. You know, one that involves two people's opinions on how things should be done.

A list of all the events OP wants filmed could be a start.

You can pin it up on the wall for him.

Yeah this is a bit unreasonable to be mad/upset about this. My husband proposed to me on a cliff in Bali at a 5 star resort and we didn’t have a photographer. This was in 2017 so still in instagram times lol. If you’re so pressed about it, book an engagement shoot?

WTH has happened to this world? Are you 15? You’ll get enough attention during the whole wedding process so dont you worry about that.

Now I know this is a windup. Thank goodness.

Well spotted!

That poster uses very similar language and writing style to this OP throughout the earlier thread. I think you are right.

In the earlier post, she also says she is in her late 20s and a heavy user of Insta. She is very embarrassed about what her friends think about the absence of DP posts around her birthday. Because he’s punching above his weight, allegedly, she muses about what to put him through before showing mercy.

The poor DP sounds like an accessory.

I came to this thread in a time of enforced idleness. It’s been, um, enlightening, but I wish I didn’t know that people think this way.

Yanbu since he knew you would want photos/videos, it’s not nice to feel like your oh hasn’t listened to something that was important to you. I see many people have commented on whether they think engagements should be photographed…. YANBU to want photos either, it’s a personal choice, just like those who don’t care for photos also are not BU

For DP's sake, I hope it is but I'm not sure it is.

I had no idea this was even a thing and, fwiw, I think it's awful. Up there with proposals of marriage in public - dreadful.

Are you planning on videoing your wedding night for your friends' delight & delectation?

Yabu and Abit strange. Huge red flag. Why on earth do you want photos.

Be happy he prioritised you over ‘image’.

Sounds like he may have chosen the wrong person though.

Well that sounds like shallow to me?

Having organised a surprise trip to Rome, perhaps DP found that organising a photographer in a foreign city was simply a step too far?

Perhaps DP foolishly thought OP would prefer to make memories with him?

This was actually emailed to me by MN as ‘trending’.

’Classics’ here we come.

You know strangers ask one another to take a photo in such a situation or on holiday. People are being deliberately obtuse and rude about this. It all just sounds spiteful. A lot of people on here need to grow up.

Well maybe you should rethink getting married. Your values don’t align, which will cause problems in the future, as it already is, hence the thread.

How do you know it’s the same person. The name was different.

Ok? This may be true, it doesn’t mean op is any less entitled to feel a bit disappointed about it though. Also not sure why a professional photographer would be required. Her DP could have set up his phone to record them or as mentioned by a pp asked someone to take a photo of them and then proposed. Regardless I don’t think op is wrong to feel sad about this since she says she’s always told her DP she wants her engagement photographed.

@KatieHW
Having read your other thread, please consider letting him go to enable him to have a healthy relationship with someone who will not dismiss, disrespect and belittle him with your words on chat forums.

Your validation from ‘friends’ alongside SM is seemingly more important to you.

What would his reaction be if he saw this thread and your other one?

If this post is genuine, I suspect OP would not be satified even if DP had arranged a photographer. 'I wanted a videographer as well.' Or the photos wouldn't be right. 'Why did you choose Pincio as the viewpoint when you knew I wanted the Spanish Steps?' (Although she couldn't have chosen the Spanish Steps because Rome was a surprise.) As it is, I expect there are complaints making their way to MN (because why address them to DP directly?) about The Ring 'My special colour is red but you have chosen an emerald, not a ruby.'

Goodness, it must be exhausting being an influencer.

Assuming you are a grown up, OP, unclench. I hate this ‘perfect proposal’ crap. It’s cringeworthy. You will never be satisfied with your groom/wedding/wedding party,

My daughter got engaged a few months ago and the moment was captured by the selfie she sent me of the two of them grinning ear to ear and her hand with the ring. That picture has never made it to social media - they got engaged because they are in love and want to get married - not for likes

Poor bloke does he know he is marrying such a shallow person?

Be happy that someone is willing to put up with you.

We dont need photos and videos to remember special moments, it should stay in your mind as a memory.

I got engaged 12 years ago and I can still remember what happened and how he did it, just the 2 of us in the house, no cameras, no big brother just our special moment

So often the way. People who are focussed on the relationship rather than the status and party

We must have been a disappointment to everyone. Sat in pub discussing upcoming family wedding and he said "I'd like to do that, would you?'
I said yes I would thank you very much for asking, and we booked register office next morning and got married 3 weeks later. Parents were a bit annoyed because there were no more cheap Advance railway tickets available but, y'know, special occasion and all that. They did approve of the Indian buffet in the local pub so that settled things down a bit. BiL is a bit of a camera geek so that sorted the photos. We all got a teensy bit tiddly. It was brilliant.
One thing I think a really laid back stress free wedding provides is that, unlike some brides I speak to, it did not all go by in a flash. There wasn't much to go wrong. I remember every moment of it right from the 'proposal' if you can call it that. No years and years of planning. No stags or hens. Just the important bit. The marriage.