AIBU to feel upset there are no photos of my proposal?

[KatieHW]

DP proposed to me a couple of weeks ago. I feel really sad he didn’t arrange for anyone to capture this, there’s no photos let alone videos. I have said to him in the past that if I was to ever get engaged then it would be important for me to be able to look back on it in the future. When I put in my friends group chat I was engaged they all asked to see what happened and it was embarrassing to say DP didn’t think of this.

That reminds me, I'm due for a Doctor's visit so I'd better phone about to see if I can get a mate to come in with a camera.. Well, it might look good on my Facebook feed...
😂

Agreed. Very odd behaviour.

So why were you embarrassed in your WhatsApp group? You weren’t going to share the photo/video anyway.

Cringe cringe, tacky, OTT, ruin the moment. Jeez he should run for the hills

Grow up. Are you mature enough to get married? 🙄

Seriously? Please get over yourself.
you sound like bridezilla already!

i'm with your DP on this one- this is an intensely personal moment, catching it on film would be crass.
Also having a photo alters your memory of an event, moments of my life captured-all l can remember of them is the photo, and nothing else- which is hugely sad.

When I finally agreed to marry someone (I had said ‘no’ to 4 different men before) we were both naked in bed and high on E. I’m pleased no one was there to capture our special moment tbh. Still with him over 20 years later. That moment was for us - no one else.

Embarrassing that you think about social media and Instagram clout whilst getting engaged. Why on earth would he hire someone to take photos of it? You're not an actress and this isn't a staged event. Live your life and get off social media if you're so worked up over doing things for "likes"

Well your OP’s focus was more about how embarrassed you were in front of your friends, no mention of feeling stung he didn’t know how important it was for you.
You’re right, compromise in a relationship can mean doing something for your loved one just because it matters to them. Have you raised this with him? You’re planning on spending the rest of your lives together, you’d best get some ground rules in.

Don't be silly

Shallower than a puddle.
Incoming nightmare bride to be.

Is this a joke? Surely the important thing is that someone asked you to marry them, not that there were no photos so you can brag to your friends?
My dear girl, you are going to find marriage very, very difficult if you are shallow, vain and only think of yourself. Maybe don’t bother, eh?
Have you ever heard the phrase “it’s the marriage, not the wedding.” The engagement doesn’t even feature historically.

I think a proposal is a romantic moment precious just between the two of you, a private moment of deep connection. You will always have the memories. To arrange a photoshoot or video would have made it a performance not romance and you'd surely wonder if it was authentic.

Haven't RTFT - CBA sorry - but could you not just do it again, and get some photos of it (set the self timer....) and just use them? It may not have been the exact moment, but in a few years you won't care.

We had a joint Christening for our 2 DC in the mid 1990s, when they were 8 months old and about a year and a half old, and both of them were grumpy all the way through, not a single smile LOL. Just 😕and 😩and 😞Every photo of them just looking grumpy LOL! We had about 35 pics taken, (with our camera,) nothing professional, and when I showed them to friends and colleagues and neighbours a week later, some of them said 'oooh dear, don't they look miserable?!' 😆 (They were just overwhelmed I think, because about 30 people were there...)

I was quick on my feet and said 'oh this isn't ALL of the photos, I have some more to develop before I make up the Christening album.' Then what I did, I put the Christening gowns back on them, and DH and I put the clothes on that we had on for the Christening, and we took about 15 photos of us and our 2 DC, (several with the self timer of all 4 of us...) And on all of the pics (pretty much) they were smiling, and looked cheery. So I was able to mix them in. We went back to the Church and took a few outside, and had a few in our house where we came back to for a little buffet I made.

No-one ever knew (or cared) that there were 2 sets of pics, 2 weeks apart LOL, and the Christening album is lovely to look at.

Being upset about your partner not hiring a photographer is not "having standards and knowing your worth" ...it's being a narcissistic demanding bridezilla. I truly hope this opens his eyes and he realises the only mistake he made during the proposal, was asking YOU to be his wife.

No we aren’t. She is being silly and it’s better she appreciates this because marriage tends to require…not this.

That's strange... considering the OP said she doesn't use socials 😂😂

This has got to be a wind up. If it's real - grow up! Seriously, are you mature enough to be considering marriage? You sound like a whiny spoilt little girl. Get a grip.

I too thought getting engaged was uncool so I asked DP to replace the lost sapphire from my grandma's engagement ring, which I have worn since I was 16. Then the original venue cancelled after the invitations had been sent out. I said 'Annoying but if I can't find another venue at 12 weeks' notice, we'll eat fish and chips on the grass outside the chip shop and drink champagne from the bottle'. (I found another venue. ) Then I got pregnant and was 20 weeks on our wedding day. My sister-in-law was worried because my niece, two at the time and a bridesmaid, refused to wear anything on her feet except wellies (although she agreed to ballet slippers on the morning of the wedding), which I thought would have looked rather chic. Despite these momentous events, everyone had a lovely time and DD spent hours as a little girl looking at the one photo album, assembled by me, intrigued that she was there in utero.

So, OP, that's me, doing things my way, not making a fuss, and eschewing Instagram for a linen-bound album. I recommend it because it's low stress and spontaneous.

Seriously?!!! WTAF!! 🤔
It's beginning to feel like many people don't believe something has actually happened or is real unless there's photographic/video/instagram evidence!!!🙄

I have never heard of this. Great way to lose all spontaneity. Why on earth would a bloke arrange to record it anyway .. what if the woman said no?

AIBU to think the HW in OP's user name might be an acronym for Hard Work?

Taking photos of the proposal is weird, and frankly a bit naff. Take a lovely picture of your engagement ring instead.

Oh god.the op is Sonia from gavin and Stacey!
She'll be having a go at him about his shoes at the altar!🤣