AIBU to feel upset there are no photos of my proposal?

[KatieHW]

DP proposed to me a couple of weeks ago. I feel really sad he didn’t arrange for anyone to capture this, there’s no photos let alone videos. I have said to him in the past that if I was to ever get engaged then it would be important for me to be able to look back on it in the future. When I put in my friends group chat I was engaged they all asked to see what happened and it was embarrassing to say DP didn’t think of this.

Please reevaluate how lucky you are and get a grip!

He surprised you with a trip to Rome, proposed to you and you’re upset you didn’t get an action shot of it happening?!?!

I don’t believe for a minute all your friends asked to ‘see’ what happened. What is this, The Truman Show? Maybe one asked if you had a photo, but the rest, no.

Be happy that someone loves you enough to want to marry you and aren’t stuck in a shitty relationship where you aren’t loved

Bitchy as well as ungrateful, lovely traits.

I got engaged in Paris in pissing rain, DH didnt go down on one knee and was holding an umbrella, I dont think the pics would have been great. Our hotel room was cheapo and not at all photogenic. We took a selfie later in the weekend with an old school camera, and didnt get both of us fully in 😆 no regrets

I have seen (online) people set up the phone or camera but mostly you get strangers walking in front of it, if its somewhere particularly popular or photogenic

No reason not to have taken a lovely selfie together showing off the ring where you got engaged! Living in the moment and have a special photo if you wanted one.

You know the thing about ageing... it'll come to you too unless you're very unfortunate.
The proposal, engagement and wedding are just the preludes to marriage. I've been very happily married for the last 25 years. Why would I want another proposal? I don't want a divorce

Dear God, this post is living proof of the phrase that all criticism is projection.

OP, top tip: if you want to accuse others of bitterness, you need to avoid dripping with bitter spite yourself.

You have completely missed the point of a proposal. It's not about the moment of the proposal, it's about the decision to spend the rest of your life with the person you love.

For those of us who have already done that, we don't seek another proposal, that would be weird. We already have what we wanted.

My husband's proposal was a lovely moment. There are no photos because it was private.
We make each other happy every day, even on the bad days. That is what married life means to me.

But was it important to him? Maybe he didn’t want his photo taken?

Oh it’s you again!!

For anyone interested, here’s OP’s other thread complaining that her boyfriend didn’t wish her a happy birthday on social media; there are more threads but this is the only one I responded too so have bookmarked - it’s always about social media.

In case OP tries to say it’s not her, note the username format and her use of telling people to have “standards” and “know their worth” and then the insults about posters being old and past it or jealous if they don’t agree.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/amibeingunreasonable/5297678-dp-refuses-to-acknowledge-my-birthday-on-social-media

So you didn't think to whip out your phone and take a selfie,,

So, you were embarrassed you couldn’t share photos with your friends when they asked, yet claim you only wanted the photos for your own private memories. Do you have dementia already, that you need such reminders to make them special? And are you so unbelievably self-centred that you don’t give a flying fuck your partner clearly didn't want to record the moment (possibly because he knew all your tiresome friends would expect to see them and spoil a private moment)?

It is not some sort of show or performance OP. Or shouldn’t be.

I think something like an engagement should be a personal special moment. Something about having a photographer on standby feels so staged and false and not genuine. I love that our proposal was private and personal, as it should be.

All that matters is the engagement, not sharing photos of it

It's between you and him. No-one really cares or wants to see photos. Just be happy that you're engaged ffs!

Embarrassing your DP didnt think of this? How old are you?

Just show them a pic of the ring like normal people.

Wide range of views? Virtually every view is the same: that you are seriously misguided in wanting a record of a private moment.

Whatever times we live in, our behaviour reveals what matters to us. You are suggesting that if you get engaged now, having a record is obligatory. It's not. I got married 24 years ago and was appalled (still am) at the sums women spend on a dress for one day. I bought a few metres of raw silk from a Berwick Street fabric shop and a dress maker made a fifties-style dress I described to her. I didn't conclude I was living in a previous age because I didn't spend 000s on a dress.

DP is even more in the dog-house than your OP suggests. Not only did he not arrange a photographer/videographer, he should have known it mattered to you and made the necessary arrangements. I feel quite upset on his behalf. As my lovely dad used to say when being harangued by my mother: 'I can't do right for doing wrong.'

Have you laid the charges of tone-deafness, insensitivity and being behind the times at DH's door so he can prepare his defence?

Thank you!!

Something was ringing a vague bell with me and it was that thread!

I can’t imagine how exhausting it must be to have a partner like this….

Well, you should not marry him! He knew making the proposal a public spectacle was important and just did a common, ordinary, un-newsworthy proposal.

Just give him the ring back and tell him you are going to wait for the Broadway version of a proposal and wish him lucky on his journey to find a worthy bride.

People in "modern times" are finding you over the top and those of us who got engaged and are still married almost 50 years ago realize that you don't care about a marriage; just the photo ops.

Shallow? She's so vain she only cares about what's on the surface, which is convenient because that's all there is...
😂😄

Knew it. Was just about to post the same thing. Thought they rang a bell with certain comments

Ah yes but....he's proposed!!! Cocked it up, but he's popped the question. I assume that because of the cock-up, OP has said: 'Nah. I'm good, thanx'.

All of this.
I would be mortified to have such a beautiful moment turned into a spectacle.