AIBU to feel upset there are no photos of my proposal?

[KatieHW]

DP proposed to me a couple of weeks ago. I feel really sad he didn’t arrange for anyone to capture this, there’s no photos let alone videos. I have said to him in the past that if I was to ever get engaged then it would be important for me to be able to look back on it in the future. When I put in my friends group chat I was engaged they all asked to see what happened and it was embarrassing to say DP didn’t think of this.

😆😆😆

I am in my latter years, still married to the man who went down on one knee at a Scott Walker concert, (no recording of the event, even though video cameras surprisingly had been invented so far back in time)
There is no way I would give up any of those years from then till now....but there is definately NO WAY I would want to do them all again.

I wish you all the best, and I'm sure when married, you will realise what are the really important things to make a happy marriage/life....and what is simply nothing to bother about, x

Yes to matter years. No to wanting to be wanting to be young again.

You should have turned down the proposal as it wasn’t to your liking and asked him to redo it with a film and lighting crew. Can’t believe he didn’t tbh.
and agree with a pp that there are an awful lot of nobodies acting like celebrities documenting their lives 😂
just send your friends a photo of the ring on your finger for heavens sake! Such a drama over absolutely nothing.

Slagging you off? You've asked if you're unreasonable and many people have suggested that you are.

crone waves from widowhood

As I said in my post, I think you've been fooled by social media. Times do change, but I think that there's too much pressure on young couples these days to have 'perfect moments' which are made public.

Speaking for myself, I don't long to be proposed to all over again, but I would like to have time with my husband again.

I wouldn't want to go through everything again - there were good times and bad. Embrace the good moments, OP. I wish you and your fiancé well.

Nothing this man does will ever be enough for @KatieHW.

I am old enough to tell you that life is so much better if you actually live it, in the moment, rather than wasting it trying to curate the perfect, Insta-ready, fake images.

In your original post you said it was because your friends wanted to see the proposal, but now you're saying something different! You are also very quick to decide anybody who doesn't share your view must be virtually prehistoric. I got engaged on 2nd July 2022. No videographer, no photographer, just me and my now husband sharing a very magical moment, when he romantically asked me to be his wife. I wouldn't want to share such a precious, personal moment. Your wedding is your opportunity to make your vows, witnessed by the special people in your lives.

Eh? Was there a third person with you primed to take a picture? I don’t think it’s that common to see photos or videos of proposals, on social media or even just having a photo or video yourself, especially if it was a private moment which I imagine it is for many people. You are making far too much of this. Yabu.

This is not true though, is it? You say in your OP that your friends have asked to see what happened and that it's embarrassing not to have a record to send them.

Even that comment smacks of immaturity

Being proposed to again? Why would anyone want that? It’s one of those moments that is lovely and meaningful to you and your husband to be but it’s not an event to repeat like a fancy holiday.

it seems like the proposal was an expectation but there doesn’t seem to be a huge amount of love involved

I'm afraid that I think your fiance should take your reaction as a big red flag about just how shallow you are.

Goodness me 🤦🏻‍♀️
If that's what your thinking about after deciding to get married are you sure you're doing it for the right reasons?

“When I put in my friends group chat I was engaged they all asked to see what happened and it was embarrassing to say DP didn’t think of this.”

It’s quite sad that you felt embarrassed about this rather than just being able to tell your friends what happened and how much it mean to you. To me at least… it comes across that you are more bothered about how things look rather than the fact that someone is showing you that they want to spend the rest of their life with you.

YABU and if your fiancé were my friend I would be asking them about any other red flags in the relationship before continuing with such a huge commitment such as a marriage.

What a load of faradiddle.

Thanks for the laughs🤣. I think the 1% is the OP! As for bitter and envious absolutely couldn’t be further from the truth! I hate the way these kind of occasions are now so staged and set up for social media they’re bland and boring! You’ve seen one you’ve seen them all. Then you get all the pathetic need to outdo others and it loses all the meaning and romance behind it.
i love a photo as much as the next t person but you still need to live life in the moment rand not stage everything.
I think the OP stands zero chance of twenty years of marriage if this is disappointing!

And there is the shark jump

Fuck me the world has gone mad. Does everything have to be documented now? Surely an engagement is a special event between two people not for everyone you ever bloody met to see. 🤦🏼‍♀️

I hope this is satire. Chronically online

See, I was going to sympathise with you, and say your fiancé sounds like he did nearly everything right and to focus on the positives. But now you just sound like a spoilt brat!

My proposal was perfect. There are no photos because I would have been fucking horrified at someone taking photos of it. DH proposed to me in the ad break during the X-Files, bloody perfect.

Nothing jealous and bitter about it. All people are different, you OP sound like a high maintence spoilt little girl. I feel sorry for your future husband.

Each to their own but I can’t think of anything worse. DH proposed privately, just the two of us, without fuss, and it was lovely. No need for all the public displays, for me at any rate.

Might make it to Facebook, eh….

Ha ha your both very funny 🤣 if anyone is bitter it is the op because her dp didn’t fly a third wheel to Rome for a photo opportunity god help your future.

Imagine being so arrogant that you have taken to slagging off older people because they disagree with your OTT idea about having a photographer.

I’m not even old but FML. YOU were embarrassed because you couldn’t show your mates some photos? 🥴

Older people aren’t the issue here. You really need to learn some humility!

you’re simply being ridiculous.

Come on, that comment pretty much confirms OP isn’t real. It’s a wind-up. No one is actually that self-absorbed.

Are you one of those ‘pics or it didn’t happen’ types, even when it was actually happening.

Hope he realises you have a shallow streak.