Baby given chocolate!

[areandare]

I would like honest feedback / opinions on this please as I don’t know if I’m overreacting and am happy to be told that I am.

My baby is 9 months old. He started weaning at 6 months and I have taken it quite seriously to do it as best as I can. Weaning books, trying home made recipes, introducing veggies before fruits, etc.

My partners parents like to have him once a week for a couple of hours to spend time with him and to prepare for when I return to work as they will be minding him for one day. Last week when I picked him up, MIL smugly told me “he had some chocolate today”. I was a bit taken back as I thought she was joking.

It turns out that she had broken up chocolate in to little pieces and given it to him. He has never had chocolate before , he was gifted a few Easter eggs and we still hadn’t given any to him.

I have a few issues with this.

1. The chocolate could be a choking hazard, everything that I have read says to melt it
2. She knows how I feel about giving him chocolate, and she didn’t even ask she just took it upon herself to give him it
3. This one sounds petty - but I would have liked to have been the one to give him his first taste of chocolate when I felt ready 😔

What do others think? Should I say anything or just leave it? I might be overreacting but I feel quite hurt by it. I feel quite strongly about a 9 month old not needing chocolate right now (no disrespect to those who give it) but he’s so happy with yogurt, fruit, etc so really doesn’t need chocolate as a treat yet.

Call the police and go no contact.

He'll be fine. And all the 'firsts' business is BS.

But by all means tell her you don't want him having any sugar. That is the only reasonable bit of what you've said.

Edited to say, I'd be careful how you approach this if you're going to depend on her for childcare. If you'd rather he went to nursery, have at her!

1. it’s no more a choking hazard than any other kind of food (after 6 months baby can pretty much eat anything you can)
2. the world won’t end
3. yes it’s petty

this is not worth getting worked up about

I could maybe stretch to understanding your rather ridiculous outrage if she'd shared a spliff with him or offered him a can of Stella but come on - a bit of chocolate? When did new mothers become quite so insanely OTT anxious about everything?

The first point is total rubbish. Otherwise, I completely see where you're coming from and agree. However, when someone is providing such a huge amount of free childcare, ultimately you have to suck it up that they will do things their way (as long as not actually dangerous). Or pay for childcare and don't leave your child alone with them.

If you had said he shouldn’t have any and she gave it anyway then I would be mad. It’s also fair to say you don’t want him having it again. But my experience is the grandparents love to give aaallll the sugar

My mum gave my son a kit kat at 10 months. I didn't give a shit move on.

I think it totally depends on whether MIL went against your clearly expressed wishes or if she didn’t realise your views.

If you are expecting them to do childcare for you I wouldn't have them arrested . YABVVU

Double this.

Your baby is 9 months old, many parents have already let their child try chocolate by that age. it’s chocolate, not cyanide.

Melting it is psychotic, you break it up into pieces just like she did. She has raised children, you haven’t.

If you want to police exactly what your baby eats, don’t pawn them off onto other people for free, get a childcare placement.

I think you need to get over it to be honest.

My mum has my 3 year old one day a week and has done since she was 1. I accept that on that one day a week she's going to eat biscuits and she's going to have more screen time than I'd allow.

But the positive is my DD has a lovely relationship with my mum (better than mine to be honest) and it saves me money on childcare, so I grin and bare it.

I've also never read that you need to melt chocolate for a 9 month old. And I couldn't tell you when my DD had her "first" taste of chocolate because it was a complete non event.

I don’t understand why dgp’s insist on giving sugar to baby’s. Totally unnecessary.
However if mil is going to be providing childcare you’re going to have to suck a lot up.

😂

I disagree with previous posters, it is not good for your kids evolving digestive system to have things like chocolate at a really young age. There is just no need!

The chocolate is a bit of a redheering. Its not a big deal really.

What is important... do you trust them for childcare? Cutting up foid, car seats, adequate clothing, nappy changing, sleep rules, things that are actual safety issues?

Grandparents providing free childcare?

Expect more chocolate and sugar and screen time! So pick your battles carefully!

So you're happy to get child care once a week...and she feeds him something you'd like to feed him.

Well here's the kicker kid....I was given a mouthful of rough cider at 18 months by one of the old man's mates. It happens. I lived, my mother joked about it with him years later when he visited her as she was dieing....that's it life it too fucking short to worry about bollocks.

👍

Yanbu but just leave it - when it comes time to get your own back, on a 'first' with her, take it 🤷‍♀️

You sound hard work
Pay for child care next time

My MIL wanted to give DD chocolate at 2 months as it would be funny and would make good photographs.
I didn’t let her.

My mother told me that when I was 4 I necked my granddads whiskey back like I was an alcoholic sailor. Apparently it was the only time I slept through the night in my childhood!

Somehow I’ve reached 30 without negative effects and now have 2 children of my own who regularly have had chocolate from a young age and live to both tell the tale. Perhaps unrelated but my youngest actually doesn’t like chocolate any more past the age of 4. My other child loves it.

He will be fine having a tiny bit of chocolate at nine months. It's not like he'll be living on it.
Chocolate buttons are best.

Honestly OP I would been the same when my first was a similar age (well not the melting thing, that’s weird), fuming with my MIL for stealing a first.

Fortunately I now have the benefit of hindsight and two kids and can tell you that you have many, many more important firsts ahead and neither you nor your baby will remember this.

Yes babies don’t need chocolate at this age but once won’t harm them, just don’t make it a habit. But be aware that you can follow all the nooks and guidance and they’ll still all end up as chocolate and ice cream fiends at some point.

Sorry to say but you are being very PFB and need to just let this one go.,.

i dont see how a 9 month old needs chocolate in their diet. i find it bonkers that your mom did that. tell her to give a banana next if she need to ‘spoil’ the baby.